Chillin' Out Saturday

BREAKFAST: 10am, good yogurt with nuts, honey, vanilla, hunger 4/5

LUNCH: 1:30pm, sweet sausage torteloni and 3-cheese tortellini with homemade tomato sauce, grated parm, large glass of water, 1 oz dark chocolate, hunger 4/5

PM SNACK: 6:30pm, handful of baby carrots with peanut butter, hunger 4/5

PM SNACK: 7pm, handful of tortilla chips with fresh salsa, hunger 4/5

DINNER: 9pm, brick o' Chinese, hunger 3/5
Thought I was hungrier than I was, but finished the brick anyway. What's going on here?

Not the book to read when feeling down

ADDENDA:
Going to movies/dinner tonight with peeps, so I took the bus to work this morning, finally getting back into "The Omnivore's Dilemma" after a pause. Great book, but not a happy read. Reading about the wet-milling of corn to make those 20 extra ingredients that appear on the label of a processed food. The industrial food complex just seems so....inescapable. But as they say, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, so I better move on and finish book, hopefully it proffers a sunny side!

BREAKFAST: 8am, 4 pancakes, 6 strips of bacon, hunger 4/5
Sleeping 10 hours and no sweets the day before will do this to you. The bacon is the organic nitrite-free kind from the farmer's market. Amazing how much tastier and, ummm, baconier it is than the stuff I got served in Vegas.

AM WATERING: 9:45am, 24 oz still

BP: 10:15am, 130/84

LUNCH: 1pm, chickpeas, black lentils, saag paneer, rice, naan, yogurt sauce, raw onion, hunger 4/5
Kept reading over lunch, it just gets scarier. Now he's recounting the history of the 'super-sized' meal, and our evolved predilection not to eat till we're full, but to eat as much as possible to get ready for the lean times that don't come anymore.

PM WATERING: 3:30pm, 24 oz still

PM DRUGGING: 3:30pm, 2 extra strength tylenol
Feel a little parched, headachey, almost a pre-fever state. Thought the sleep last night would knock out whatever was up, but I guess I better take it easy this weekend. If I get sick, it's all Sumner Redstone's fault!

PM SNACK: 6:15pm, 1 saltless wholewheat pretzel, half bag of salty popcorn, hunger 4/5
At da movies

DINNER: 9pm, pasta with pesto, few bites of wild boar lasagne, chickpea pancake thing, few bites of duck salami, 1 glass presecco, water, hunger 4/5
Nice dinner with B & Danny in Hell's Kitchen. Good upbeat way to close down an otherwise crappy week, due to work.

EVENING SNACK: 11:15pm, salad, 2 slices cheeseless mushroom pizza, hunger 4/5
Still hungry. Kinda craving sugar, but the chocolate in the cupboard will keep me up. Ate these left overs, very satisfying.

In Need of a Sweet Methadone

ADDENDA:
Why did I eat that brownie last night? I don't ask that because I feel guilty (I don't), it's just that I'm trying to understand my behavior. I had a relatively healthful meal out that I enjoyed with my B, then we went to the movies at the Anjelika. I was still a little hungry, as barely 20 minutes passed between finishing the meal and sitting down for the movie. However, my sugar-cravings came back as hard as they ever were. B was buying coffee, so I said fuck it, and got a big ol' brownie with a choco-peanut butter frosting.

The frosting tasted kinda fakey and not horrendously fresh. The brownie itself was too cakey to be really decadent. Even as I was eating it, I was thinking, "Eh." However, the blood lust I had for sweet pretty much dissipated after the 2nd bite, allowing me to focus on the flick, until maybe 5 minutes later I realized I had a small emerging headache and a stomach that felt like I just drank a shot of liquid latex. Very odd.

This morning I was thinking about how I much I would of rather not of felt crappy because of a sweet I didn't enjoy. Heroin addicts take their methadone to curb their cravings, maybe I need a methadone for sweets. Maybe carry packets of brown sugar around, and just down it when the cravings attack and there are no top-shelf sweets available? Then I remembered - I've been carrying these spearmint mints around with me for months in my bag for that very purpose, bu I forgot about them! Doh!

Advice to all the lovers of the world: If you're gonna get all kissy on your husband or wife, don't let coffee and stinky cheese be the last 2 things you ate. I'm just sayin'.

BREAKFAST: 8:30am, organic corn flakes & good milk, small banana, hunger 3/5

AM WATERING: 9:45am, 24 oz still

BP: 10am, 134/94
Do have that pre-headachey feeling. Maybe just thinking about that brownie last night is doing it to me.

AM SNACK: 11:30am, baggie of saltless shelled cashews, hunger 4/5

LUNCH: 12:45pm, sesame tofu, small container of baby carrots, hunger 4/5
Got the tofu from wholefoods the other day, good but my serving has 860mg of sodium, about 1/3 of the USDA recommendation. Didn't TASTE salty, but I know that doesn't mean much. I guess this means this is 3 days straight of taking lunch to work, but it's only because I knew I'd be eating out last night and tonight....and come to think of it, tomorrow night. I think limiting myself to a maximum of 1 non-homemade meal a day is a good rule. Then again, how is a container of salty fried tofu from Wholefoods really "homemade"? Hmmmm....

PM WATERING: 3pm, 24 oz still

PM SNACK: 3pm, 3 saltless whole wheat pretzels, hunger 3/5

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, large organic fuji apple, piece of funky cheese, hunger 3/5
Feel tired. Gonna go home and cook instead of going out to an openning with a friend. Betsy won't be home for dinner so I can cater just to my taste...

DINNER: 6:30pm. half a cheeseless mushroom pizza, large quantity of green salad with too many olives in it, water, hunger 4/5
Seems the HVS had some free time before yoga, so we supped before I went home at Patsy's. The pizza was good, the lack of cheese made me focus more on the two other main ingredients - the sauce was a bit too sweet and the crust lacked snap in the middle - the lack of cheesy grease should of allowed to to get firmer.

Watched TV for a bit, but fell asleep so I put myself to bed around 9. Was craving sugar during TV but was too tired to motivate. I think I'm still a bit depressed about work, even though a lot of what was happening is now moot, I just feel a little bit dissed and disrespected. I know I shouldn't act emotionally to the actions of a soulless, faceless corporation, but I just can't shake the feeling I'm selling myself short by staying there indefinitely. Come next month after the holiday madness, I'm going start properly looking for new work to advance the goal of creating a stable financial base to raise a family AND a position where I can advance.

Adventures in Creme Fraiche & the Dopey Delicacies of my Mom

ADDENDA:
I never liked sour cream much. I remember when I was really small, I believe my mom made a really lame rendition of matzohbrie, and she served it with sour cream. I refused to eat it, and she said that sour cream was a delicacy, that I was foolish not to eat it. By delicacy I thought she meant rare and very expensive. Years later, in my teens, I saw that sour cream was neither rare nor that expensive, and the seeds for years of parental-challenging eating were planted.

Last night as I was shopping for ingredients for latkes, I almost couldn't find matzoh meal - I thought, my god, am I such a bad Jew that I shop at supermarkets that don't have such a soulful staple? At Wholefoods it wasn't in the baking aisle, but segregated with the Semitic foodstuffs like jarred gefilte fish and beety horseradish. I went to the dairy case to find creme fraiche - and found a variety of expensive organic sour creams but none of the French stuff. I eventually stumbled onto it in the cheese section, along with the more unusual, pricey imported cheeses. Now THIS is rare and expensive!

The latkes came out good, but I have ideas how to make them better next time. However, the creme fraiche....was a delicious delicacy. Though I've had it served to me before, I never quite knew what it was or paid it much mind. When I saw this latke recipe, I first thought it was pretentious language for fresh whipped cream. It's actually a mildly cultured heavy cream, somewhere between sour cream and mild yogurt, but much more buttery & creamy tasting. Eating it with my latkes was a revelation. I wish my mom was around so I could both share this 'delicacy' with her, at the same time nervily rebutting her assertion that sour cream was somehow something to be held as dear. Maybe she was right, but the arguing of such a silly matter would of brought us both a lot of giggles. And I could hear her enjoying it, but complaining about how expensive it was for such a tiny little tub...

On a lighter note, my employer just caved in on a few key points, things may turn out OK yet.

BREAKFAST: 8am, good yogurt with honey, vanilla, raw cashews, hunger 3/5

AM WATERING: 9:45am, 24 oz still

BP: 10am, 131/88

PM SNACK: 12pm, bag of unsalted shelled pistachios, hunger 4/5
Donated about 1/4 of the bag to the HVS holiday drive.

LUNCH: 1pm, leftover lamb sausage and latkes, creme fraiche, hunger 4/5
The microwave was very unkind to this meal. Still, yummy.

PM SNACK: 4pm, big crunchy fuji apple and a small piece of apenthaller funk-cheese, hunger 4/5
Quite good.

DINNER: 6:15pm, hijiki tofu patty on wholewheat pita, large spinach salad with carrot dressing, small plate of cold sesame noodles, water, hunger 4/5
Quick dinner before the movies at Dojo.

EVENING SNACK: 7pm, large peanut-butter brownie, hunger 4/5
Oy, what a mistake. Killed my cravings, but I immediately felt a little physically yucky.

Feel like la-la-la-latkes tonite!

ADDENDA:
Not surprised my BP is a little high this morning, feel a slight headache, know I haven't been eating as well as I normally do lately. Today is the day to snap back. Started with a good breakfast, packed a lunch even the HVS would approve of (minus the raw goat's milk cheese to compliment the apple), and tonight I'm going to hit up the market for supplies then attempt a latke recipe out of Saveur magazine.

My grandmother made latkes, but my mom never did. The recipe in the mag is surprising straight forward - grated potato and onion, matzo meal, egg, chive, salt and pepper and oil. They do, however, get all fancy pants and suggest alternates to apple sauce or sour cream, like creme fraiche...hmmmm. I kinda feel like I'm in the experimental stages of creating a new tradition, so when my kid/kids come along, I'll already have something yummy up my sleeve to pop on them.

Just received the Global sharpening steel in the mail today, I feel like a kid with a new toy - I can't wait to hone my blades tonight before chopping something!

My recent stress at work has been getting a lot of news coverage lately. Though it's hitting the papers now, I feel for the most part it's over, at least for me.

BREAKFAST: 8am, organic wholegrain chex with good milk, 1 small banana, hunger 4/5

AM WATERING: 10:15am, 24 oz still

BP: 11am, 132/96

LUNCH: 1pm, superhippy peanutbutter sammich, baby carrots with homemade hummus, hunger 4/5

PM SNACK: 4pm, apple and a small amount of funky cheese, hunger 4/5
I think my funky cheese turned or something. Oh well.

PM SNACK: 5pm, Roberts Smart Puffs, hunger 4/5
Very hungry, don't want to go nuts as it'll take an hour or so to make dinner once I get home. Craving sugar, cookies looked good, but damn, after eating crappy for the last 4-5 days, I gotta focus on making sweet-free days not so special!

PM SNACK: 6:30pm, unsalted pistachios in shell, hunger 4/5
Picked these up as a potential interesting daytime snack, but felt too hungry to start cooking without a handful of something.

DINNER: 7:30pm, curry lamb sausage with mushrooms, homemade potato latkes with creme fraiche, seltzer, hunger 4/5
Oh my. This came out good. I thought I used a lot of salt, as the preparation called for salting the shredded potatoes and onion over a sieve to sweat out the liquid. I guess salt got sweated out too, because the final product was not salty at all - I imagine some might even call it bordering on bland (but was just right for me!) Couldn't find chives at the market, next time if I can't I'll go nuts with some scallion, that might excite the flavor profile.

EVENING SNACK: 9:30pm, 1.5 oz chunk of Sharfen Berger 70% dark chocolate, hunger 3/5
Betsy snarfed those horrid soy ice cream sandwiches right after dinner, I couldn't be bothered. However, after an hour I started craving sugar and by 9:30 the drums were so loud in my ears. I went to into the kitchen, thinking, "Good! I know there is no sweets here so I'll be able to resist!" Unfortunately, on the top shelf there was a high-quality piece of cooking chocolate, left over from my gelato-making. I only ate 1/3 of it, and for the next 30 minutes I craved more, but it passed.

I was surprised - I had a very satisfying, heavy meal for dinner. Maybe it was because of the potato factor?

I feel like crap

ADDENDA:
Woke up nauseous and tired, combination of jet leg and the late-night Indian food. Lolling around on the computer this morning, some interesting developments at work. On top of that, have 2 work-related holiday parties I'm not looking forward to...

AM WATERING: 9:30am, 24 oz still

BP: 9:45 am, 133/92

LUNCH: 1:30pm, curry pork with rice & cabbage, small miso soup, 3 pork dumplings, water, hunger 3/5
Stomach still feeling weird but head is clear, must be jet lag. Nice catching up with Erikka, it's like when I'm socializing over food, it actually makes the food more appetizing.

PM SNACKS: 7-9pm, 1/2 weird sweet mixed drink, 3 bottles beer, small amount of assorted snackies including mini-empinadas, small piece of cubano sandwich, meat n' potato ball, a few garlicky shrimp, hunger 3/5
Attended a few work parties downtown, was a lot more fun than I thought it would be, as despite the corporate shenanigans, I actually like most of the people I work with - some I'd even hang out with if I didn't happen to spend almost more time with than I do with my wife.

DINNER: 10pm, vegan garden burger on sprouted wheat bread with mustard, 2 small soy ice cream sandwiches, hunger 3/5
Got home, felt snacky but not hungry. A little buzzed but not really. B had done a little food shopping, so I ate of her harvest. The burger was bland and gooey (though the bread I got last week was really good, a nice light-weight counterpoint to superhippy bread). If the soy ice cream crap wasn't there, I would of been sweet-free today....and they tasted awfully fake, reeking of artificial vanilla and an oily mouth feel.

Lost in Las Vegas

ADDENDA:
Las Vegas was a lot to take in by itself, meeting my buffet-crazed father-in-law made for an interesting overlay. We managed to wrangle him into a nice eatery, the San Marco at the Venetian, the Las Vegas Batali outpost. Note in the picture our next-table neighbors with the hats. Them cowboy hats were everywhere. Also note that it was not actually al-fresco dining, but a not-that-amazing simulation in a large vaulted room with the ceiling painted like the sky, with the walls to give the impression we were in Venice...if Venice were packed with cowboys and branches of NYC restaurants...

Friday
BREAKFAST: 9am, 1 pancake, 1 cheese blintz, potatoes, 1 apple crepe, bacon, biscuit w/sausage gravy, smoked salmon, banana, small donut, water, hunger 4/5
The buffet at our hotel was pretty horrible food, and such large portions. The bacon was incredibly salty, and the sausage gravy tasted like someone dumped a whole shaker of salt in it by accident.

PM SNACK: 1pm, half a G&T, hunger 2/5
At the MGM Grand, my father-in-law advised that if we looked like we were gambling at the slots, we could order $1 drinks instead of $5 at the bar. So I toodled away the first gambled dollar of my life as we waited to place an order.

PM SNACK: 2pm, bite of crappy everything pretzel, hunger 3/5
At the 'New York, New York' casino. If they tried to serve this pretzel on the street in NYC....well, I guess tourists will eat anything, he he. I was tempted to get a slice of 'NY style pizza' there, but LOOK at it! My god, man!!

PM SNACK: 4pm, crappy chocolate gelato, hunger 3/5
The Bellagio is trying to be all hoity-toity, but the gelato in my neighborhood totally trumps that gooey crap.

DINNER: 7pm, chips, guac, salsa, shrimp with rice & refried beans, water, hunger 4/5
Crappy Mexican back at the hotel, me and B were happy with how the way went but too exhausted to go out to hunt a proper meal. The 'fancy' option in the hotel was Bennihanna....

Saturday
BREAKFAST: 7am, waffle & bacon, water, hunger 4/5
Room service, same crappy food at 10x the price.

LUNCH: 12:30pm, bread, prosciutto, zucinni flowers, small slice of goat cheese pizza, veal & ricotta meatballs w/ polenta, chocolate malt gelato, water, hunger 4/5
At the San Marco at the Venetian. Really yummy, as good as anything in NYC. The pizza was Batali-style, which I don't like that much, but interesting.

DINNER: 6pm, 1 sip of wine, shrimp cocktail, fried shrimp, eggroll, California rolls, carrots & cucumber, 3 bites of prime rib & stuffing, 1 small bite scary pizza, chocolate ice cream with choc syrup, hunger 3/5
Final crack at the buffet, wasn't very hungry but it was all about the company, not the food. However, the small bite of the buffet pizza was perhaps the worst ever...

Sunday

BREAKFAST: 7am, waffle, bacon, potatoes, water, hunger 4/5
In the diner at the hotel, getting ready to go, saying good byes.

AM SNACK: 11am, small Pizza Hut pepperoni pizza, hunger 4/5
The flight had no meal service, so this was the least evil of options near the gate. Pizza Hut pizza is very....greasy.

PM SNACK: 2pm-1pmish, airline cheesy crackers, airline cookies, good saltless wholewheat pretzels, small apple juice, hunger 4/5

DINNER: 10:30pm, chana sag with basmanti, pakoras, nan, seltzer, hunger 4/5
Starving when I got home. Ordered cheap Indian food from the hood, very satisfying.