Friday, August 10

Eatin' Like I Mean It

ADDENDA: Summer friday off work, too rainy to ride. Laundry, food shopping, cooking....

BREAKFAST: 10am, pancakes and 4 pieces bacon, a little seltzer, hunger 4/5. Experimented with adding more milk for a thinner pancake, much better. Also, paying attention to WHY this is good, I could taste everything clearly, milk, eggs, flour, the butter it was cooked in. Wolkfing down pancakes from mix, you pay too much attention and you notice the weird industrial flavors....

LUNCH: 1:15pm, whole wheat totinni with pesto and sauted mushrooms, lemon seltzer, hunger 4/5. Went to pathmark for groceries just before, thought to look for lunch too. Felt like pasta, but on Ilsa's advice, thought it best to experiment with whole wheat. Only two brands had whole wheat versions, Barilla had a 'whole wheat blend' which involved plain white flour, eggs and a chemical mix of vitamins. Only Renzi, imported from Italy, was just plain whole wheat semolina, period. Not even water! Made it, not as bad as I remember, still there was a certain iffiness to it's chew. Can try boiling it an extra minute next time.

PM SNACK: 2:15pm, cherry italian ice, hunger 2/5. Craving sugar.

DINNER: 7pm, pork over cold rice noodles, a vegetable dumpling and a piece of grilled eggplant, hunger 4/5. Not enough food.

EVENING SNACK: 9pm, 2 donuts from dunkin' donuts, hunger 4/5. Craving sugar. Hungry. Worried about effecting tomorrow's ride.

Thursday, August 9

Binge-man Vs. Breakfast Zero

BREAKFAST ZERO: Last night I was determined not to eat any sweets or snacks. Ilsa said at some point I'm going to have to sacrifice to see any changes. This french fry ban is fine, but I'm not a big french fry dude. Obviously, my sweets intake is driven by something big.

I felt fine at 10:30 when I got home, though I heard the dulche gelato kind of calling me. I didn't say anything, but it must of been written on my face, because Betsy sweetly asked me to not eat gelato so late at night. Part of me wanted to eat some just so she didn't think I wasn't eating it because she told me not to. But if I ate some, I'd have to write about it here, and how lame is that? So I showered, watched some TV, read more in the food-education book, put myself down around 12:30.....hungry, easily 4/5.

I remembered how when I travelled Europe by backpack, my food intake dropped drastically because of the language barrier, lack of cash and the lack of an open kitchen to graze in late at night in youth hostels. I went to sleep hungry often, because I had no choice. I lost weight. But now, 1:30am and staring at the ceiling, wide awake....I'm of the theory that if you can't sleep, you should get out of bed and do something till you feel like sleeping....but all I wanted to do was eat! Eat gelato.

So I got up to zoom in on the boob tube, and it occured to me. Weekends I can loosen up a bit and indulge. But 5 work days, I have eat in a more goal-oriented way. It's 2 in the morning. Rather than snack, let's do breakfast. Breakfast Zero! Toasted a garlic bagel, slathered it in the good butter. Enjoyed eating it. Clock said 2:12. Still hungry. Want more. This is the begining of a binge, I thought. OK, I will wait 8 minutes, and after those 8 minutes, I'll eat gelato. For the first 2 minutes, my eye kept wandering to the time, but then the TV distracted me and all of a sudden it was 2:30. Huh. Felt sleepy, went to bed. In the battle of binge vs. breakfast zero, zero won. I had a small twinge of pride - I didn't avoid late eating, but I did go waking hours without sweets.

BREAKFAST: 8:30am, large bowl of hot oatmeal and a small banana, small amount of lime seltzer, hunger 3/5. Would of been hungrier, but was groggy and not feeling too hot. The organic oatmeal had no discernable difference than the usual Quaker Oats. I put in a pinch of sea salt and a pinch of evaporated cane suger - noticed it tasted too salty! Need butter and maybe milk next time. Banana was oddly satisfying, maybe my body is in a bit of a sweets-riot mood?

AM SNACK: 10am, 24 oz still water, mint.

LUNCH: 12:30, turkey and swiss on whole wheat, big bag of sunchips, hunger 4/5. At the deli accross the street, the smallest bag od sunchips was the 99cent bag, but the whole bag had 20% daily sodium, which for a pile of chips is low. When I ordered the sandwich, the counter person asked, "fresh turkey?" to which I said yes - it was real baked sliced turkey breast, not a salty pressed mess! It was a little dry and stringy, but tasted pretty salt-free. And only 2 slices of cheese, so what I thought would be a salt-bomb of a lunch was actually pretty reasonable. An hour later in a meeting, I found myself having energy and felt good.

PM SNACK: 5:15pm, 6 lindens cookies, hunger 4.5/5. Feeling very tired, groggy, very hungry, slammed by meeting all day. Almost went for a haagen dazz bar, but thought I should save ice cream for the good gelatto. Lindens are not organic, but at least they're baked in NYS. About 10x more ingredients than the organic cookies, and now that I'm payiing more attention to them, they leave a slightly unpleasant bitter feeling in my mouth after eat them which I don't get from the organic cookie. Hmmm. Wanted this snack because I'm going to Trader Joes after work to pick up something to go with the corn, didn't want to be starving...

DINNER: 8pm, sauted shrimp and mushrooms, sweet corn on the cob, gelatto. Hunger 3/5. Fun cooking raw frozen shrimp from trader joes, in a simple preparation of butter, garlic, lime juice and tabasco (and a dash of sea salt) - for some reason I never ooked shrimp, it was surprisingly easy, encouraged by the instructions on the bag. I want to learn how to peel and devein myuself, so I can get frsh from chinatown. The sweet corn from the farmers market was horrible, not sweet and a little gummy. Gelatto ruled as usual.

Wednesday, August 8

Soy 'Milk' is gross.

ADDENDA: Wore my il lab T-shirt to work today. Lordy, thats some good stuff. Ten pint tops get a free t-shirt. We're working on one for Betsy right now. Sorry, Ilsa.

BREAKFAST: 8:30am, bowl of cornflakes with unsweetened soy milk, hunger 3/5. Even though I got the good milk yesterday, I forgot about the oatmeal, and now that I think about it, some bananas would rock a breakfast, too, and maybe help with the sweets thing. I still have this unsweetened soy milk in stock, and it would feel dumb to throw it away, so I had it with the cereal. It's kinda like slightly chalky water, now that I really focus on what it tastes like, and especially after eating cereal with the good milk last week.

AM SNACK: 10am, 24 oz still water, mint, hunger 3/5. Hot out. My breakfast wasn't big enough. I think that's a constant problem. Maybe I should have a second breakfast, like I have multiple lunches? Maybe something I can regularly pack?

LUNCH: Noon, falafel 'platter', shrimp & rice platter, hunger 4/5. Went out for falafel, felt like I needed something more substantial than just a sandwich. Got the so-called platter, which was just the sandwich packaged in it's individual components, with a little more lettuce. Walking back, saw the good lamb cart, got their nicely spiced shrimp with veg and basmanti, brought it back to the office. Now feel really full, in a good way. As I was walking between the carts, I thought about what I craved specifically....not sweets, it was a craving but also a stomach-clenched hunger....I craved carbs! Rice, potatoes, pasta, heavy starch. Weird, never thought of it that way. Maybe because I skipped out on a heavy starch last night?

PM SNACK: 2:30pm, organic chocolate chip cookie, 24 oz still water. hunger 2/5. Big lunch is sitting in my stomach nicely, but the cravings for sugar came on strong. These mad moose products are too sweet, which is odd, as they are not fat-free or something dumb like that. Like the person who formulated the recipe wasn't confident that the quality of their ingredients wouldn't shine, so they've decided to mask it by knocking you out with sweetness. About 30 minutes after this cookie, got a headache...

DINNER: 7:15pm, large cold sesame noodles, large spinach salad, hunger 4/5. Quick dinner at Dojo before the movie. The carrot ginger dressing tasted salty, used it sparingly. Ordered a big mass of noodles on purpose, see how it would make me feel, how it would satiate me. Well, I felt fine through dinner and when I went to Whole Foods on the way home to pick up oatmeal and bananas, I didn't feel like buyinig any sweets.

Tuesday, August 7

Sweets Memory

ADDENDA:

Over the ice cream cone after lunch #2 today, I was thinking about my sweet tooth, which impresses Ilsa so strongly. Part of it is physiological, undoubtedly, but part of it is emotional, going back to the gooey Parental memories. I only have really strongly positive and really strongly negative memories when it comes to sweets. I remember going to Clove Lake Park with my mom and brother when I was a little kid and she got us soft-serve ice cream cones. I remember mine was a swirl of chocolate and vanilla, and absolutely huge, as big as my head, and I ate every bite. Another was again with my mom and brother, outside of a shopping strip, and a woman was giving out free samples of Twix, which was a new candy bar then. I remember sitting in the car with my mom and brother, eating those small candy bars, wishing I had another but really enjoying it - a candy bar not only with the approval of my mom, but actually eating one with her.

I guess those are really the only two purely positive memories of sweets. Most of my memories involve sneaking cookies and brownies from the cupboard, and hoping my parents wouldn't find out. And I remember finding my dad's stash of candy and chocolate in his office at the top of our house - it had the same excitement as finding a stash of porn (but that's a conversation for a different kind of blog, he he). He too had a massive sweet tooth that my mom didn't approve of or indulge. My dad had vague memories of the sweet shops of his childhood in Vienna, which are famous for all sorts of cream cakes and tarts. I snuck candy (sno-caps: my first encounter with dark chocolate!) from my dad's shelf. Chocolate, sweets craving, love, guilt, all mixed in a sloppy stew.

BREAKFAST: 8:30am, toasted sesame bagel with hummus, hunger 4/5. Woke up hungry, thought about making the last of the bacon but felt lazy. Wanted something heavy, realized I was out of oatmeal. Wah! Mmmm, oatmeal with butter n' bacon!!

AM SNACK: 11am, 24 oz water, mint, hunger 3/5. How is an altoid any different than a lifesaver, really? They're like the rounds left over from making the holes in the lifesavers.

LUNCH #1: 12:15pm, large green salad n' dressing, hunger 4/5. Brought in from home

LUNCH #2: 1:15pm, lamb pita and a chocolate cone, hunger 4/5. From my favorite cart on 45th and 6th, where the chef used to cook at the Russian Tea Room. I was paying attention to it's flavor - it tastes VERY strong and full bodied and, uh, tasty, but only tastes a little salty. Does this mean it has only a little salt in it, or was it the hand of skilled chef who used a large amount of salt appropriately?

PM SNACK: 4:45, samosa chat, hunger 4/5. After making plans to go to Whole Food to pick up groceries and make a healthy fun dinner for me & B, I realized it would be almost 4 hours till then, so I went out looking for something more than a snack, less than a meal. First thing that popped into my mind was PIZZA, but then I thought I should save the indulgence for salty 'za when the 'za is something special, not just to get me through the day. The second thought was FRIES, from McDonalds, very convenient if not a little evil, then I remembered fries have been sacrificed. So I went by the Indian joint on 46th, usually packed out with people, nice and empty - so I ordered something from the kitchen instead of the trays. Two fried potato samosa with chickpeas in a weird white sweetish and red vinegar sauce. Still felt hungry after eating it, thought of more ice cream or a cookie. Ten minutes later, it passed.

DINNER: 7:45pm, breaded sea scallops with bacon, steamed asparagus, corn on the cob, small bowl gelato, hunger 4/5. Went a-shoppin' at Whole Foods and got asparagus, and sweet corn too as a backup incase it wasn't good. Found simple directions online, steamed the aspargus for 10 minutes. The first few spears were ok to good, but I noticed they got mushier as they sat on the plate - AH, that's why they give this kind of stuff an ice bath on TV! The corn is in season and amazing, I could eat it everyday. I think I just might try that....corn n' mints all day long....I found a recipe for baked sea scallops on line, which involved an egg and bacon - two ingredients I had. Made the bread crumbs in the blender with a roll, they came out really good, a lot of fun to make. No salt in the recipe, other than what came off the lower-sodium bacon.

EVENING SNACK: 10pm, small bowl gelator, hunger 3/5. I wasn't in the mood for sweet right after dinner, but Betsy HAD to have some, so I ate along with her. A few hours later, I was in the mood. Dulche de Leche flavor, oh my.

EVENING SNACK: 11pm, small amount of saltless pretzels, hunger 2/5. Why did I eat this? I was feeling restless....

Monday, August 6

Minted Monday

ADDENDA: Went by the local greenmarket yesterday afternoon, it was looking a bit anemic, and the lone veg seller had a small, wilty selection. Will try to stop by the world-renowned Union Square green market on the way home for a full salad. I hear they have meats n' other good stuff, too....

BREAKFAST: 8am, one altoids mint, hunger 1/5. Last night's mac n' cheese attack was weighing on me this morning. I wonder how long I can go on mints before needing real food....

AM SNACK: 10am, another mint, hunger 3/5. A little hungry, but bizzy with work. Ah, Ilsa will be thrilled with this nutritional experiment....

LUNCH: 12:45pm, megasoy burritto with black beans, chips and salsa, mint & 24 oz still water. hunger 4/5. Haven't been back to Burrittoville since starting to think about my diet more. I thought it would be much saltier than it was, oddly enough. Eating the corn chips, I started to feel a bit guilty - these are really the equivalent of french fries, aren't they? Was tempted to get an organic cookie when coming into the building, but thought I'd have a mint now, and go for a sweet when I REALLY craved it this afternoon. Got a VERY slight headache after, but I think it's because I haven't been drinking (mint and water eaten after walk back to office)

PM SNACK: 3:30pm, organic chocolate brownie, 24 oz still water, hunger 3/5. Too sweet, this 'Mad Moose' brownie is front loaded with sugar and too light on the dark chocolate. Funny, I'm jonesing for sugar but when I eat this thing, it's too sweet. I bet I can make a much better all-organic brownie....

PM SNACK: 6:30pm. Small handful of saltless pretzels from the green market, hunger 4/5.

DINNER: 7:30pm, large green salad and italian dressing, 2 ears sweet corn with salt, butter, grated cheese, bowl of left over mac n' cheese. Hunger 4/5. We went to the green market in Union Square and bought the ingredients for a glorious salad, wow, it tasted good. The jersey corn tasted like it was injected with sugar, so good and fresh. Unfortunately, it was not enough and I finished last night's mac n' cheese, which again tasted salty.

EVENING SNACK: 9pm. saltless pretzels and peanutbutter, hunger 4/5. Good thing that chocolate wasn't here, or it would of been gone. This snack was Betsy's suggestion, and it did the trick. Got a good night sleep after. No serious sweets!

Sunday, August 5

I Coulda Killed Someone with that Chocolate

ADDENDA: Betsy found the kilo of Jaques Torres chocolate, openned it and ate a big piece. That made it irresistable to me - when it was sealed, it was off limits and awaiting baking. Once openned, I found myself craving it more and more. After the second piece, I realized unless it disappeared, it would be chocolate for dinner and breakfast for the next few days. So I tossed it out the window - I couldn't bear to toss such an high quality piece of chocolate in the garbage, as I'd probaby go into the garbage at a later point to dig it out and clean it off.

Almost 5 pounds in block form - if that hit someone, it would of made a heck of a headline in the next day's Post - "DEATH BY CHOCOLATE" "WIFE'S CHOCOLATE CRAVING LEADS TO MAD KILO TOSS", etc. If there is a next time, it'll go in the chute in the hallway to the compactor.

Betsy got me a box of wintergreen altoids mints to help me with my sweets cravings. I'm kinda hesitant to believe in their power as much as Betsy, but I'm willing to give it a shot.


BREAKFAST:
10am, half bagel with good butter, lot of water.

LUNCH #1: Noon, veg dim sum (mock shrimp in rice paper roll, mashed taro tresure boxes, mini sticky rice in lotus leaf, small mixed gluten, red bean thingy, spinach dumpling)

PM SNACK: 1pm, wintergreen altoids mint

LUNCH #2: 4:30pm organic low-sodium bacon on toasted bagel, large square of dark chocolate, seltzer

DINNER #1: 7pm, half a trader joes pizza.

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, half square of chocolate, then out the window!

DINNER #2: 9pm, bowl of Annie's mac n' cheese. Hunger 3/5. Salt fiasco. This box of pasta and sauce powder has been in my cupboard for a while - the entire box (of which I'd usually eat) has about 125% of the daily recommended sodium. I ate half the box, and again, this is the first time I realized how salty it tastes.

Right now, I'm reading How I Learned to Cook, (Witherspoon), a collection of essays by famous chefs. On the way to work, one mentioned when he discovered salt - without it, a steak was just eh, but with it, it brought all the flavors to life. More notably, he cooked steak after steak, starting with a few grains then going up till it was just right and more until it tasted salty instead of good. Hmmm. That mac n' cheese tasted salty more than it tasted good. I'm going to make a simple mac n cheese with whole wheat pasta, lots of good butter, and grate a high quality parmesan for the correct balance of salty cheesiness. It won't be a low-sodium meal, but it'll be a lot less than that box crap.