Friday, February 15

The Lost Weekend

ADDENDA:
From Friday to Sunday I was in Ann Arbor, Michigan and the surrounding areas visiting Betsy's father in the hospital and assisted living facility he lives in, along with Betsy's brother and of course, Betsy. Visiting a hospital to visit an ailing parent was a bit of an unexpected stressor, bringing up a lot of emotions and sense memories of what it was like to visit my own parents in the hospital, and all the drama surrounding the many entrances and exits to hospitalization and home life. The old poets had it right - the end is very much a twilight.

I'm not going to recount here blow-for-blow what I ate over the weekend, other than to say that two factors lead me to eat the crappiest I have eaten since starting this blog: 1 is the stress I just mentioned, 2 is the over-abundance of crap and poor quality food available in this region of the midwest. The first night there, on the way to the hotel from the airport, we stopped off the high way to a place called Stivers, a real burgers-n-shit kind of place, which very much reminded me of a lot of the honky-tonk kinds of bar/diners I lived off while biking cross country.

At the hospital, I went down to the cafeteria for breaks and ate foods out of the vending machine with literally hundreds of ingredients. I must admit, unlike before thinking about food, I really tasted what I was eating. The microwave 'deep dish' pizza out of the vending machine was both really really delicious and really really disgusting - it wasn't so much pizza as it was "pizza", an amazing cartoon simulation of what you'd hope pizza to be if you never really had a good one. There was a certain something in it's taste and texture that was really appealing for the first few bites, but as you get to the end you feel a little bit ill. How can they offer this in a hospital?

On Saturday I was so out of my mind from lack of sleep and overpowering emotions, I found myself badly needing to focus so I drank 2/3 of a 20oz bottle of diet coke, my first diet coke in who knows how long. The first couple of swigs very much had a lot of memories attached to it - I drank many of them at meals with my dad, who also drank it often. But after that, it just tasted acidy and medicinal - which was why I was drinking it, to get that caffiene.

Towards leaving time on Sunday, we sat down to some delivered pizzas and diet coke at the assisted living facility - it was B's dad's birthday, and like myself, find no food more worthy of celebrating with than pizza. The home even provided a vanilla-vanilla sheet cake. The pizza was ok, a bit doughy and generic, and I had a small cup of diet coke - the sweet bubbliness of it went well with the pizza - I think I should maybe make a homemade organic-cane sugar soda that will be specifically designed to compliment pizza!

Sunday night, finally home, at some yogurt and nuts because dinner never happened and my whole system felt jacked, needed something real to just chill on. Had a splitting headache at 2 in the morning, pretty sure from dehydration. Quite glad I know that I have a regimen of good foods that I can eat the next week to be able to get my head back on straight.

Thursday, February 14

Valentine's Day is for (Chocolate) Lovers

ADDENDA:
Had insomnia again last night, was up till 2. Was it because of the not-small, not-large portion of (high quality) sweets I ate in the afternoon? I think it may be partly that, partly a lack of employment, he he.

BREAKFAST: 10:15am, good yogurt with honey, vanilla, raw cashews, hunger 3/5

LUNCH: 2:15pm, half a pizza at Patsy's, hunger 4/5
Spent the afternoon with Marc, my friend Ellen's new fiance from Helsinki. He's a chef, and just spent the last couple of days on a try out for Daniel Boloud. Interesting talking to him about his experiences.

PM DRINK: 4:45pm, 1.5 pints of Newcastle at Fraunces Tavern
With Marc & Ellen.

DINNER: braised wheat gruten, curry rice vermicelli, spicy stringbeans, spinach dumplings, sticky rice, 8 pieces of fancy chocolate, some soy icecream, water, hunger 4/5
Ordered in vegan food with my B.

Wednesday, February 13

OK

ADDENDA:
Woke up at 8:30 after last night's insomnia, which kept me up till 1am. Weird thing is, the insomnia was even-tempered. I wasn't depressed or stressed out. I have concerns for B because she's under a lot of stress due to family issues, and I'm still actively looking for work and thinking about culinary school coming up (I signed up officially, btw - starting either late March or late April, depending on available seats) In the moment, things are ok, just need to stay focused.

BREAKFAST: 10am, organic cornflakes with good milk, hunger 3/5

LUNCH: 1:30pm, camarones al mojo de ago, chips and guac, water, hunger 4/5
Went out to eat at La Palapa on 6th with a friend (in retail, she has 2 weekdays off), strictly mediocre. Shrimp in a gluey sharp garlic sauce reeking of uncooked-off alcohol.

PM SNACK: 3:45pm, half a big chocolate chip cookie, half a baggie of dark chocolate covered corn flakes, water, hunger 4/5
We went and stocked up at Jaques Torres for the holiday tomorrow, then stuffed ourselves at a movie. Indulgent, but like alcohol, if you do it socially you don't feel as guilty!

DINNER: 8:45pm, baby carrots with a dash of ranch dressing, medium portion of reheated wholewheat pasta with italian sausage, mushrooms and onion, hunger 3/5

Tuesday, February 12

Feel Better Soon, HVS!

ADDENDA:
This GuS soda stuff has something to it. It's made with cane-sugar, not corn syrup, and it's lightly sweetened, which allows the actual flavor of the intended taste to speak loudly. Today in the news, a lot of noise was made about this study - it suggests that people who eat a lot of artificial sweetener gain more weight than people who consume normal sugar because it encourages them to eat more.

I must say that consuming normal sugar, whether in a baked good or a soda , is always more satisfying 15-20 minutes after eating than an artificial, which keeps me wanting sugar after consuming...

The Meeting of the HVS with featured honored guest Ilsa was to take place tonight, but must be delayed due to the illness of the chapter high-commander.....

BREAKFAST: 7:30am, 2 pieces whole wheat sprouted toast with shmear of spicey homemade hummus, 1 GuS soda, hunger 4/5
Freezer-fishing for breakfast, will shop later today. Soda gave a nice tweak to start the day off, though after having one last night too, I shall not make this a habit.

AM WATERING: 11am, 12 oz bottle

AM WATERING: noon, 3 pints tap

LUNCH: 1pm, huge-ass buritto with beef & pork, small handfull of chips, water, hunger 4.5/5
Spent the morning in a classic NYC scenario - rented a U-Haul truck with a friend then moved a California King bed and mattress from a high-rise on the UES (service elevator) to a 4-story walk up in Park Slope. All the smaller bits and headboard were no problem. The matress took some work on one particular steep bend in the staircase, but with a lot of shoulder and creative bending, we got it up. The base, however, was one solid piece and just would not fit. When I left around 4pm, my friend was still waiting on the carpenter to come and cut it in half.

On the way back from returning the truck, Erikka took me to lunch at a California-style buritto place. I was quite starving but I was still shocked when it arrived - it was almost as big as my head!! I set in to it thinking I would be proud to write in this blog that I left a good half of it over, but it went down easy. I felt satisfied but not painfully full or sleepy after. However, it's now almost 6pm and I still feel quite full, he.

DINNER: 8pm, homemade pizza with bufalla, mushrooms and onions, homemade chocolate soy icecream and store-bought chocolate babka, water, hunger 4/5
The two pizzas I made for me and B were the best yet. I think partly it's because of the bit extra balsamic I added to the raw tomato sauce made it a lot brighter in a surprising way, and partly because after watching a dorky TV show on making pizza, I let the dough rest for about 5 minutes after kneading a little before rolling out, made it nice and thin.

Got the right ratio of sauce to crust, where the crust was super thin but still had three visible layers - the bottom, which is brown and crispy, the middle, which looks like nice leavened bread with lots of little air pockets, and the top which is a little mushy and cratered where the sauce and it's olive oil makes a nice pillowy pad for all the toppings. All that an a tenth of an inch!

The soy icecream also got a little closer to perfection. I used unsweetened baking chocolate and upped the amount of maple syrup a little. Upped the vanilla and cocoa powder, and added a dash of cinamon. Blended for an extra few minutes at liquify, then left in the fridge for the first time (about 20 minutes). The final result was chocolatier, smoother and more ice-creamy than before.

Betsy claimed she was having just one small ramekin of icecream and a small piece of babka, bu after finishing she ran back to the kitchen and started spooning ice cream into her mouth straight from the machine. When I stopped her, she grabbed the babka and ran across the apartment, threatening to throw the babka out the window if she didn't get more ice cream. I was able to talk her off the ledge with a little bit more ice cream and a couple bites of babka. Both items are now safely under lock and key in the mini-freezer... if B wasn't so darn cute, I'd say she was a bit dangerous when it came to desert!

Monday, February 11

Smaller Portions

ADDENDA:
Got good sleep, but woke up with a thumping headache, don't know what that's about. I suspect I may be dehydrated? Gonna spend the day active, whether it's job-search or not. Laundry and cleaning the house, bike repair, research book shelf construction, meeting a friend of a friend at 5:30 to help with the assembly of a newsletter.

Weighed myself this morning: 233, I'll assume the 2lb loss is just a natural up-and-down, maybe from being dehydrated, he he. Gonna focus on small portions today. While eating last night's Japanese, the tray of fried tempura appetizer, something I've eaten many times before, just seemed irrationally large for a starter - with a bowl of rice to cut the greasiness, it could of been a meal in itself.

AM DRUGGING: 8:30am, 2 tylenol

BREAKFAST: 10am, homemade pancakes, hunger 4/5
Out of milk and yogurt, used the left over eggwhites and half and half from the ice cream (which B has gobbled up!) The pancakes were flat and dense, but very tasty, the extra fat communicating the graininess of the whole wheat flower in the mix.

AM WATERING: 11:30am, 24 oz tap

LUNCH: 3pm, whole wheat pasta with sweet italian sausage & olive oil, baby carrots & ranch dressing, water, hunger 4/5
Spent a good part of the morning following job leads and sending out resumes. Went out to buy bike tubes and picked up an onion and mushrooms to cook up with dry pasta and some non-nitrate sausages I had hidden in the freezer. Sweated the veg together with a dash of salt and woostechire, made an excellent compliment to the wheaty pasta. Made what was once one large portion for myself, ate half and feel perfectly satisfied.

The sausages were pre-cooked and not so great, but good enough. I sprinkled dried basil about 5 minutes before finishing, and finished the dish with a splash of extra-virgin olive oil and freshly grated parm-reg. Upon thinking about, a squeeze of lemon and a shake of wine would of made this dish a lot more interesting.

DINNER: 8pm, falafel platter with humus, babaganoush, couscous, 1 pita, hunger 4/5
On the way home from helping a friend of a friend with some graphics matters, swung by Cafe Rakka on St. Marks for falafel. I used to go here in high school to eat and thought it was the coolest thing in the world, weird Middle Eastern food, cheap as dirt. It's not so weird anymore, but still pretty cool - I guess for a teenager, I didn't have it ALL wrong.

As I was eating this evening, I thought of what brought me here as a kid. My mom introduced me to falafel as a child, the food she remembered from living in Israel. To find this falafel joint independently of her...but still very much of her - like a step towards adulthood. Finding my way, with my recent thoughts of career-changing, I'm still at it.

And I didn't order a spinach pie, extra falafel balls or something sweet to go with it. It was still enough!

EVENING SNACK: 10:30pm, 1 grape GuS soda, hunger 4/5
Craving sweet, feeling a but hungry. Didn't eat sweets today, so it's not too indulgent.

Sunday, February 10

Sunday, Calmer

ADDENDA:
No plans, me and B in da howse. Had strange dreams last night, slept a good 10 hours. Me and B napping in fits. Thinking a lot of the future, though I just watched an episode of 'Heroes' (cheesy, I know) where the arch-villain proclaims that one who pursues happiness is grounded in the present, while he who pursues meaning is obsessed with the past and future. In that case, I should be rather happy, as the present is pretty good. Wonderful wife, great home, good friends, interesting prospects for future doings, and the relatively new discovery of one of the most satisfying food stuffs known to man, grilled cheese....

BRUNCH: 1:30pm, 3 small superhippy grilled cheese with raw milk gruyer and emmenthaller, small bowl of Betsy's sweet potato soup, 1/2 bottle of cherry seltzer, hunger 4/5
Fried bread, melty cheese, crisp and gooey, salty and savory, funky and straight all in each mouthful. B's soup is a bit sweet for my own taste, but it's a simple broad flavor that is direct and authentic. The perfect chillin'-in-the-hood meal after soaking in the tub with the Sunday Times.

PM SNACK: 5:15pm, moderate piece of apple crumble, hunger 4/5
I thought about half the tray was left, but it seems some curly haired nymph snuck in and devoured all but one piece....

DINNER: 7pm, tempura starter, sushi deluxe combo, nori roll, water, hunger 4/5
Lazy night on the sofa with B, no place or time for cooking!