Off to Las Vegas

ADDENDA:
I passed the fresh scene of this accident on the way to work yesterday. It's my normal bike route, and the cops rerouted me off the bike lane into traffic to avoid it. I saw the red pick up track, the ownerless bike propped against the truck, and the panel truck parked in my lane 20 feet ahead. Sad.

I'm leaving straight from work early to catch a flight to Vegas with B, to meet my father-in-law for the first time, to peep the Hoover Dam, and totally go crazy on an all-u-can-eat all-pork buffet (Ilsa, I'm kidding!!....about the all-pork part, at least)....

BREAKFAST: 7:30am, toasted onion bagel with good butter, banana, hunger 3/5
Thinking of the crap I'll be eating this weekend, tossed in a banana for good measure.

AM WATERING: 9:40am, 24 oz still

BP: 9:45am, 130/78

NOON SNACK: noon (duh), nice crisp apple with a little funky-ass cheese, hunger 4/5

PM WATERING: 12:45pm, 24 oz still

PM SNACK: 1pm, 2 oz bag of fritos, hunger 4/5
Kinda regretted this as I was eating it, as these are easily available in an airport, but I just feeling like eating something different.

LUNCH: 1:30pm, 3 potato samosas, brown rice w/ curry sauce, cold pumpkin noodles & sesame tofu, hunger 4/5
A mostly organic, mostly vegan food bar, something I won't be seeing in Vegas...

PM SNACK: 2:15pm, 1 dark chocolate gelt, hunger 3/5
The HVS gave me 2, but after eating one, remembered that Hanukkah gelt are usually poor-quality chocolate. Usually they are milk chocolate, so this was a step up, up still a little crumbly in the mouth. I'm sure B will gobble the other one up on the flight...

DINNER: 6:30pm, fish & chips, water, hunger 4/5
Crappy food in the airport.

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, shortbread & dark chocolate, seltzer, water, hunger 4/5
Snacking on the airplane.

Bolweevils of the Soul

ADDENDA:
Funny how less than a week ago I was pretty content in how my professional life was going, and now I'm weighing the advantages of leaving before I find another job, once the corporate bureaucracy allows me to negotiate for myself. It's really starting to effect my appetite, I just hope I don't get discouraged then binge when the hunger jumps up and bites me on the ass.

I am thankful that the depression I'm experiencing has a very definable outside stimulus and is not some free floating angst that makes me want to write bad poetry, like...

Oh, such a dark and evil day,
What do I have to do to say,
The corporate headmasters are evil,
I liken them to bolweevils,
Of the soul.

BREAKFAST: 8:30am, good yogurt with honey, vanilla and raw nuts, hunger 2/5

AM WATERING: 9:30am, 24 oz still

BP: 9:45am, 126/88

PM SNACK: 1:45pm, a few bites of curry tofu & rice, hunger 4 to 2/5
Has not aged well in the fridge, too spicy, almost bitter. Appetite was there, but then left me. Have an interesting meeting in a few minutes.

PM SNACK: 4:15pm, the insides of a falafel sandwich, hunger 4/5
Hungry, but not hungry. Didn't find the wholewheat pita appetizing, though there was nothing wrong with .

Meeting went well. Negotiated enough to stay here through January and not feel stupid, though we'll see how it goes in January.

DINNER: 7pm, a little more than half of a Margherita DOC for Isabella's Oven, baby carrots and homemade hummus, hunger 4/5
Paid extra attention to this pizza, as haven't had a fancy restaurant pie in a wild. The the crust was better than the stuff I get at wholefoods, nicely textured and chewy, a little limp but that's probably from steaming in a cardboard box for 10 minutes. The little pools of bufala moz was great, just the right minimal amount but the sauce was unattractively tangy - my sauce on the fly is much better.

EVENING SNACK: 10:15pm, 1 saltless whole wheat pretzel with good peanut butter, hunger 3/5
Felt restless after the day's events.

Imagine all the time I'll have to blog...

ADDENDA:
It seems that corporate decisions have made my current employment situation a bit demoralizing. I could be in the market for a new job as soon as January 1st. My biggest concern right now is how this is going to impact B, she has a lot on her plate right now with her Dad n' stuff, all she needs is an unemployed husband!!

BREAKFAST: 8am, toasted onion bagel with good butter, hunger 3/5
Haven't had a bagel for breakfast in a long time. Gotta start mixing it up more, maybe oatmeal soon, too.

AM WATERING: 9:15am, 24 oz still

BP: 9:20am, 131/89

LUNCH: 1pm, pork chop over fried rice, shrimp summer roll, hunger 4/5
I brought left over tofu n' rice, but got invited out to lunch by an old work associate who has a good sense of what's going on.

DINNER: 9pm, bowl of baby carrots and homemade hummus, bowl of wholewheat pasta with homemade sauce and Parmesan, large square of homemade apple crumble, hunger 3/5
I was sorely tempted to go to Katz's on the way home and pound down a huge pastrami sandwich, a plate of beef-steak fries and a plate of pickles, out of anger, but then I thought about a) how it would make me feel later and b) I wasn't hungry anyway, so I went home. Had a hard time deciding what to eat, till Betsy said, "Why don't you just have some pasta?" Making dry pasta doesn't seem like real cooking, it's more like preparing, and I really didn't feel like cooking, but I didn't feel like an unhealthy restaurant meal like I had this afternoon.

Putting My House in Order

ADDENDA:
Woke up this morning at 7 after a restless night, grabbed the laptop on the floor and emailed work, saying I wouldn't be in today. Rather than feel crappy about work all day, I've decided to start putting my house in order now instead of 'later'. So far I've done some crucial fixes to my commuter bike, vacuumed and done the dishes, drano'd the sink and will soon set the over to auto-clean. I'm gonna shower, then update my resume and send it off to a headhunter who I've kept contact with over the past year. Will take 5 minutes to look at some job listings on line, then go see an afternoon movie with the retirees/trustfund babies/unemployed shmoes!

And tonight, I shall cook like I never cooked before. Went book shopping yesterday, and got an interesting cook book, which after picking it up realized I was in the same social circle with the authors years ago, back when I was young n' hip. Not sure what I'll make, but it's gotta be vegan and wheat/potato-free, in advance of the eventual HVS Chapter meeting in January...

BREAKFAST: 7:30am, good yogurt with honey, vanilla and raw nuts, hunger 3/5

AM SNACK: 11:45am, 1 slice superhippy bread with good homemade hummus, 33 oz bottle of seltzer, hunger 4/5
Seems aging a few days in the fridge takes the bite off the raw garlic, nice. Gotta hydrate or I'll feel weird or falsely hungry, gonna treat myself to some bubbly.

LUNCH: 1:45pm, 12 seared mixed dumplings, hunger 4/5
Ate them in the movies, very relaxing.

DINNER: 6:30pm, green salad, grilled curried tofu over brown basmanti with sauted broc, cipolinis and criminis, apple crumble & choc. gelato.
My first effort out of the veganomicon, not very good. The curry marinade tasted bitter, the tofu stuck to the grill. But the sauteed veg was delicious. This will not be the HVS Chapter meeting meal, but I do want to experiment more with pressing, grilling, baking and marinading tofu....

Fun in Tme of Depression

ADDENDA:
Felt depressed today. Starting to assemble a game plan for the future, unspoken but in my mind. Felt a little crappy from eating crap yesterday, didn't make the same mistake today.

BREAKFAST: 7am, good yogurt with raw cashews, hunger 4/5

AM SNACK: 8:30am, about 1 ounce of good chocolate, some gelato custard, hunger 4/5
Cooking chocolate gelato custard, some jumped up and pounced on me, forcing itself down my throat.

BREAKFAST 2: 10:30am, veggie burger with home fries, hunger 4/5
At Kate's Joint with the HVS. It was nice spending a nice quiet morning with someone to commiserate about whats happened at work and feel good about life in general at the same time, appreciate the friends you got despite the bad stuff. We went for a beginner's vinyassa class together after, was actually surprisingly rewarding - not too easy and not too hard. Gotta travel next weekend, but this is something I could do again.

LUNCH: 2:45pm, falafel and eggplant on whole wheat pita, hunger 4/5

PM SNACK: 4:30, some gelato custard, frozen and stuck to the sides of the machine, hunger 3/5

PM SNACK: 7pm, small piece of medium alpine raw milk cheese, hunger 4/5
Got this at the farmer's market the day before, already Betsy has torn through most of it.

DINNER: 8:15pm, homemade pizza with roasted garlic, mushrooms, cipollini onions, buff moz and parm, 1/3 of a homemade calzone, homemade apple crumble and homemade chocolate gelato, hunger 4/5
Pizzas came out best yet, would of been very pleased if they were served to me in a restaurant. Used left over dough and ingredients and experimented with a calzone, also pretty good. Dessert, not so great, but the gelato was still a little better than the last time.