Passover, Round 1

ADDENDA:
Went to a yoga basics class this morning tought by the HVS, who is somewhere near the end of her training. Hot n' sweaty, the yoga was excellent though the music was a bit....well, that's a rant for a different kind of blog. Went to the farmer's market before hand to pick up some ingredients for an apple crisp to take along tonight to my cousin's seder.

BREAKFAST: 7:45am, granola with good milk, 1 bowl, hunger 4/5

AM SNACK: 10am, 2 small pieces of pizza, .5 bowl, hunger 4/5
Mediocre pizza leftovers from B's Broadway East meal

LUNCH: 1:15am, pork fried rice, shrimp eggroll, 1.5 bowls, hunger 4/5
It would have just been another buck to get the brick and have it delivered, but don't feel like being sick all Passover. Walked out and got a pint of rice. I guess I'm needing the comfort of it, as this afternoon I'll be with relatives I haven't spent time with in years.

DINNER: 6:30pm, matzoh, 1/2 glass wine, diet coke, seltzer, haroset w/ horseradish, gefilte fish, matzoh ball soup, 5 sweet meatballs, chicken breast w/stuffing, mashed potatoes, salad, broccoli kugel, small piece of apple crisp, 1 chocolate macaroon, 2.5 bowls, hunger 4/5
Went to a cousin's house deep in the dark heart of New Jersey, haven't been to his seder since my parents passed away. It was nice to be able to go with B and have her meet a bunch of people who knew my parents pretty well. I was always a rather shy child, and had my parents to hide behind - many of these people who I've known since I was a baby I've had very few words with - tonight I perhaps doubled the amount of conversation I had with them. It was nice.

Being a seder, there was the pomp and ceremony but it was all about the food in the end. A few dishes were brought by guests were home made, but the majority of the meal was catered - it's a shame, my father and his brother would cook everything from scratch, and it would show. A perfect example were these meatballs in a tomato/ketchup sauce, originally made by my Aunt Vivian, now made by another cousin - no pork in the meatballs, matzoh meal as a filler, ketchup used in both the meat ball AND the sauce....and the sauce is sweet....should be gross, but were absolutely fantastic, like Jewwy Swedish meatballs. The food was good, the banter with my cousin was in the style of my parents, but my food memory recalls something a little bit more....weird tasting. Is it because I'm an adult? I ate the "bitter herb" dipped in salt water for the first time in my life, usually I'd shove it under the plate, he he.

Then again, if I was holding a seder for 24 people, I'd cater it too! A Wildman tradition is to serve hard boiled eggs and crack the egg over a loved one's head. Fortunately, Betsy's skull was quite firm and ready for the task.

I really need to hit the grocery...

BREAKFAST: 10:15am, 4 pancakes, 1.5 bowls, hunger 4/5
B sleeping, feeling pleasantly hungry. The good milk is slightly spoiled, so I used 3/4 instead of a cup with a cup of mix and an egg. I through in some cinnamon and vanilla to help mask the milk. The pancakes came out shockingly light and fluffy, and the slight tang of the milk was a wonderful new dimension.

LUNCH: 1:45pm. small green salad with carrot dressing, shumai, tempura, california roll & 4 pieces of sushi, 2 bowls, hunger 4/5
Sleepy day indoors with B, ordered in Japanese. Was tempted to order Chinese, but B threw a mini-hissy fit at me, which I guess was appropriate.

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, a couple of small bites of cheese, hunger 4/5

PM SNACK: 5:30pm, popcorn, water, 1.5 bowls, hunger 4/5
At the movies, too salty.

DINNER: 7:30pm, hummus with mushroom stew, stuffed grape leaves, falafel, health salad, a few olives, whole wheat pita, water, vegan brownie, a few bites of vegan cinnimon chocolate cake, hunger 4/5
Went to Hummus Place with B and the HVS after the movies, really yummy, then to Atlas for vegan treats. Had a much smaller brownie this time, as the sugar headache of the last piece of cake I had there was fresh in my mind.

Early Bike Ride Turns My Head Around

ADDENDA:
Got out of the house by 8am and road over to Park Slope to look after Erikka's cat. Very cute, all rubbin' up on me for the entire time I was there. Then I road up the waterfront of Brooklyn to the 59th St Bridge. Cold and crisp, with minimal traffic, maybe 10 miles. I've forgotten a little just how stress-relieving a bike excursion can be.

After all the holiday hullabaloo and house guests and stress, Betsy has now gone to Boston to be with her mom for the week, my house is empty, and work is deadly quiet. Maybe if the weather cooperates, I'll take the road bike out tomorrow morning to the cat and to work...

BREAKFAST: 7:30am, organic cornflakes with the good milk, hunger 4/5
Nice to wake up with an appetite - it's like being driven by a need for caffeine, only much more satisfying when satiated. I should try it more often.

AM WATERING: 10:30am, 24 oz still

AM SNACK: 10:45am, overly sweet corn muffin, hunger 4/5
Morning bike ride left me hungry. From the company cafeteria. I can taste the corn syrup and stabilizers.

LUNCH: 2pm, .5 lb organic cow burger on wholewheat bun, side of vinegary slaw, hunger 4/5
The HVS and I hit up Better Burger on 9th ave over 42nd St. I'm about 1/2 way through the Omnivore's Dilemma, reading about the meaning/meaninglessness of what we accept to be 'organic' - the author uses the example of an organic TV dinner as how an organic analogue of something at the end of a long industrial food chain is just that - something at the end of a long industrial food chain, just with less pesticide and petroleum-based fertilizer. I imagine the organic fast-food burger is in a similar bucket.

The burger itself tasted surprisingly salty, almost unpleasantly so, and tasted a bit gamey, not what I expect from a burger.

PM WATERING: 2:45pm, 24 oz still
Feel a bit parched from the morning ride. Really feel good from it.

PM SNACK: 5pm, homemade vanilla soy ice cream, hunger 4/5
Dinner with a friend is late tonight, so I was gonna get some donuts as a special afternoon sweet snack, but remembered the Donut Plant is closed Mondays. I plan to make soy ice cream for the HVS this weekend, so it occurred to me to try making it as a trial run before presenting it for mass consumption.

Surprised how good this tasted - like tofutti, but without the fakey aftertaste. Only 4 ingredients - tofu, plain unsweetened soy milk, maple syrup, vanilla extract, all organic. Came out of the machine kinda like softserve.

PM SNACK: 7pm, handful of tortilla chips, hunger 4/5

DINNER: 9pm, shrimp butter masala, a little eggplant curry, rice and nan, 1 potato samosa, muligatawany soup, water, 1 glass red wine, hunger 4/5
Nice dinner with a friend, makes the holidays much more tolerable.

Merry Xmas, Goyim!

ADDENDA:
B & I had a nice bike ride over to Cobble Hill to lunch with T & friends. Nice Jewish Xmas eve with Ethiopian food (instead of the traditional Chinese, yer welcome, Ilsa!) and a movie.

BREAKFAST: 9:30am, good yogurt with honey and vanilla, hunger 3/5

AM SNACK: 11am, curried cashews, saltless pretzels, baby carrots, water, hunger 3/5
Sponsored by the Hungry Vegan Society.

LUNCH: Noon, hummus with fresh pita, smoked salmon on a croissant with small amount of potatoes and salad, hunger 4/5

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, small amount of tortilla chips, large amount of baby carrots, hunger 4/5

DINNER: 6:30pm, Ethiopian vegetarian platter, vegan chocolate cake, water, hunger 4/5

In Need of a Sweet Methadone

ADDENDA:
Why did I eat that brownie last night? I don't ask that because I feel guilty (I don't), it's just that I'm trying to understand my behavior. I had a relatively healthful meal out that I enjoyed with my B, then we went to the movies at the Anjelika. I was still a little hungry, as barely 20 minutes passed between finishing the meal and sitting down for the movie. However, my sugar-cravings came back as hard as they ever were. B was buying coffee, so I said fuck it, and got a big ol' brownie with a choco-peanut butter frosting.

The frosting tasted kinda fakey and not horrendously fresh. The brownie itself was too cakey to be really decadent. Even as I was eating it, I was thinking, "Eh." However, the blood lust I had for sweet pretty much dissipated after the 2nd bite, allowing me to focus on the flick, until maybe 5 minutes later I realized I had a small emerging headache and a stomach that felt like I just drank a shot of liquid latex. Very odd.

This morning I was thinking about how I much I would of rather not of felt crappy because of a sweet I didn't enjoy. Heroin addicts take their methadone to curb their cravings, maybe I need a methadone for sweets. Maybe carry packets of brown sugar around, and just down it when the cravings attack and there are no top-shelf sweets available? Then I remembered - I've been carrying these spearmint mints around with me for months in my bag for that very purpose, bu I forgot about them! Doh!

Advice to all the lovers of the world: If you're gonna get all kissy on your husband or wife, don't let coffee and stinky cheese be the last 2 things you ate. I'm just sayin'.

BREAKFAST: 8:30am, organic corn flakes & good milk, small banana, hunger 3/5

AM WATERING: 9:45am, 24 oz still

BP: 10am, 134/94
Do have that pre-headachey feeling. Maybe just thinking about that brownie last night is doing it to me.

AM SNACK: 11:30am, baggie of saltless shelled cashews, hunger 4/5

LUNCH: 12:45pm, sesame tofu, small container of baby carrots, hunger 4/5
Got the tofu from wholefoods the other day, good but my serving has 860mg of sodium, about 1/3 of the USDA recommendation. Didn't TASTE salty, but I know that doesn't mean much. I guess this means this is 3 days straight of taking lunch to work, but it's only because I knew I'd be eating out last night and tonight....and come to think of it, tomorrow night. I think limiting myself to a maximum of 1 non-homemade meal a day is a good rule. Then again, how is a container of salty fried tofu from Wholefoods really "homemade"? Hmmmm....

PM WATERING: 3pm, 24 oz still

PM SNACK: 3pm, 3 saltless whole wheat pretzels, hunger 3/5

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, large organic fuji apple, piece of funky cheese, hunger 3/5
Feel tired. Gonna go home and cook instead of going out to an openning with a friend. Betsy won't be home for dinner so I can cater just to my taste...

DINNER: 6:30pm. half a cheeseless mushroom pizza, large quantity of green salad with too many olives in it, water, hunger 4/5
Seems the HVS had some free time before yoga, so we supped before I went home at Patsy's. The pizza was good, the lack of cheese made me focus more on the two other main ingredients - the sauce was a bit too sweet and the crust lacked snap in the middle - the lack of cheesy grease should of allowed to to get firmer.

Watched TV for a bit, but fell asleep so I put myself to bed around 9. Was craving sugar during TV but was too tired to motivate. I think I'm still a bit depressed about work, even though a lot of what was happening is now moot, I just feel a little bit dissed and disrespected. I know I shouldn't act emotionally to the actions of a soulless, faceless corporation, but I just can't shake the feeling I'm selling myself short by staying there indefinitely. Come next month after the holiday madness, I'm going start properly looking for new work to advance the goal of creating a stable financial base to raise a family AND a position where I can advance.

Dessert-Fast, Day 2 (Or: Cheesy Apple!!)

ADDENDA:
So had the first of two "cooking" classes at the Natural Gourmet Institute last night. Unfortunately, it was a 3.5 hour lecture on the basics of how to eat healthy - pretty much everything I've been reading about in various books for the past few years. Still, there were a few things that were good to hear again - like how easy it is to over-buy at the farmers market then let it sit all week at home till it becomes inedible or much less nutritious. So when I got home last night after 10, I set up a bunch of fingerlings with mushroom, onion and dried tofu to bake on a timer while I slept.

She did mention controlling the effects of food on bloodsugar (from where all sugar-lust comes) and how she has a weakness for dark chocolate (snooort!). She mentioned how cocoa-nibs are an excellent snack - hmmmm.....I can have a refined sugar-fast AND eat chocolate?! I think I need to go and investigate ASAP.

So far so good. No sugar-lust yesterday, undoubtedly satiated by the fruit. Kinda looking at this like it's a 100-mile bike ride. Once you've started, no point in worrying if your up to it or not. The first half should be easy. And be aware of what your feeling at all times, as a little pain now will be a huge friggin' deal-breaker a few miles down the line.

BREAKFAST: 8am, toasted sesame bagel with cream cheese and gravelox, seltzer, banana, hunger 3/5

AM WATERING: 9:45, 24 oz still

BP 10am: 126/88

PM SNACK: 12:30pm, apple and a few small pieces of raw edamer cheese, hunger 4/5
Oh my. Oh oh my. -arm flap-. I think this is a breakthrough. Oh oh oh my. I refrigerated the apple, and it was much more crisp (why does B like them at room temp?) and delicious. After that, I immediately ate some small slices of raw-milk edamer cheese I picked up at the farmers market. Wow, I never quite appreciated cheese like I'm feelin' on this. And the combo with the apple....next time I will eat them together, bite for bite.

LUNCH: 1:30pm, roasted potatoes with mushroom, onion and tofu, green salad with carrot dressing, hunger 4/5
Potatoes were just eh today, too much oil and too much lemon juice. However, as an experiment I put in whole cloves of garlic and they came out all creamy and nicely garlicky.

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, 2 samosas and a little brown rice with veg curry, hunger 4/5
Felt hungry ever since lunch, but not in a sugar-lust way.

DINNER: 6:30pm, bacon cheese burger and onion rings, water, hunger 4/5
Quick dinner at an indie fast food spot before a show at BAM with sympathetic refined-sugar faster the Hungry Vegan Society. Not a huge fan of burgers or suspicious chopped meat, but if I am to live in this world, once in a blue moon is not gonna kill me.

Baby, I like it raaaaw, etc etc

ADDENDA:
Went to the farmers market to collect a salad and miscellaneous. Got a half pound of interesting edamer raw-milk cheese, and I asked if they had any raw-milk for sale. They did not, but gave me a web-address for a distribution club. Raw milk is illegal to sell, but if you join a club where you cooperatively own a cow, you can legally drink it's raw milk. I read a lot from different sources about the history of milk, and how there's actually nothing wrong with raw milk if it's unadulterated by a lot of the industrial methods that gave it a bad name. In fact, it's a whole food that is supposedly better for you and more importantly....tastes better. I want to taste it for myself. The cheese is fantastic. I hope it's richness will help me avoid sweets next week.

BREAKFAST: 6am, good pancakes, hunger 4/5
To sleep early, woke up early. Made a new batch of mix, this time upping the whole wheat flower from 1/3 to 1/2. Can taste it more....and I like the taste of whole wheat....

AM SNACK: 11am, 3/4 of toasted bagel with hummus, hunger 4/5

LUNCH #1: Noon, slice of pizza, hunger 4/5
From local shop, focused on tasting the sauce. It's good, what is mine missing? Maybe dried red pepper?

LUNCH #2: 12:30pm, white rice, hunger 4/5
First run of the rice cooker, just ate the rice straight. Rice tastes good, but bland. Better than just in a pot. 1 serving is a half cup of dry rice, I made a full cup and it wasn't that much. Ate about 3/4 of the bowl.

PM SNACK: 1:30pm, 6 freshly baked cookies, hunger 4/5
In a grouchy mood, crappy weather. Rather than ride, sat around the TV and baked up the cookie dough, something I won't be able to do next week.

PM SNACK: 5:30pm, half a good dark chocolate bar, hunger 2/5
Amazing how easy it is to eat good chocolate, even without hunger or a craving for sugar.

DINNER: 8pm, vegetable dumplings, light crisp pancake with curry dipping sauce, fried spinach toasts, curry fried rice with odd mock-duck, 1 beer, water, hunger 3/5
Dinner with the Hungry Vegan Society at Pukk, a HVS-friendly Thai joint on 1st.

I'm Nervous

ADDENDA:
Will I make it 5 days without sugar? How much will it hurt? The Hungry Vegan Society just donated a bag of shredded dried coconut for my future fruit salads....

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, good yogurt with a little honey and vanilla, hunger 4/5

AM WATERING: 9:45am, 24 oz still

BP 9:45am: 130/91

LUNCH: 12:15pm, half a pastrami sandwich, small matzoh ball soup, pickle, vinegar slaw, hunger 4/5
Pastrami was dry, and such small portions!

PM WATERING: 2pm, 24 oz still

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, roberts smart puffs, hunger 4/5

DINNER: 6:45pm, 1 glass saki, 3 tiny fishcakes, small portion of chocolate babyback ribs, small portion of thai beef salad, 3 large tiger prawns with small amounts of pineapple fried rice and jasmine white rice, small portion of rich chocolate cake with burnt-honey icecream and fried banana spring rolls, hunger 4/5
Fancy dinner out with B at Kittichai, really good food, smallish portions. Felt full after but not stuffed. Enjoyed the dessert perhaps too much.

Portions A-poppin'

ADDENDA:
Ilsa brought up the question of portion-size - how do I feel my portions are? There have been times I've been gluttonous (Entemann's chocolate donuts with the little chocolate rat-pellets on the top, oh my....) but as an adult I think I've more-or-less toed the societal line with the correct portion....which is to say, probably too big but not considered gluttonous.

This morning I made myself whole-wheat pasta with home made sauce for lunch, and as I was pouring it into an old Chinese food quart container, Betsy asked if some of that was for her, because that was too much for me. Looking at it, looks like a good solid lunch to me that paired with a snack 2-3 hours out will hold me over till dinner. I think more thought needs to be given to the issue.

BREAKFAST: 7:30pm, whole wheat bagel with good butter, hunger 3/5

AM WATERING: 9:15am, 24 oz still

BP: 9:20am, 129/90
Closed my eyes and breathed steadily through my nose for the minute it took to take the reading. Ilsa wants me to focus on my breathing, maybe it'll help me cheat my BP down? :)

LUNCH: 12 noon, quart o' whole wheat pasta with homemade sauce, good dark chocolate, hunger 4/5
A full large chocolate bar is too much, but it was fun sharing it with the Hungry Vegan Society (because quality dark chocolate is ALWAYS vegan) and various work-pals. Felt very conscious of the portion size. Brought it in because want to spend-down all the sweets in the house. I think the only two things left is the lemon sorbet I made this past weekend and the cookie dough in the locked freezer. I think the cookie dough can remain as a 'Break this in case of fire' kind of thing....

PM WATERING: 2:45pm, 24 oz still

PM SNACK: 4pm, vegan jerky, hunger 4/5
Experimenting, maybe protein will be able to help with sugar craving? (The small portion has 500mg of salt, so I don't think this'll work.) Thinking of a Noah-compatible fruit salad....just apples, lemon juice, a little cinnamon, coconut flakes....maybe pear? Banana? Eeeeee.....

PM SNACK: 6pm, large portion of salty popcorn, hunger 4/5
Not a good day for my salt intake. Once I learned the movie would be 2.5 hours long, I had to.

DINNER: 9:30pm, spicy squid with weird noodles, tofu stew, kimchi pancake, little portions of radish kimchee, fried seaweed, weird noodles, marinated vegetables, yummy purple rice, hunger 4/5
Went to a weird soft-tofu Korean joint on 35th with Danny and Soo, and Soo (who is Korean) selected the dishes. Other than a weird fishy fish starter, all was good. Limited my squid intake because it was late and didn't want it to interfere with sleep.

The Donut Dance

ADDENDA:
Had a nice, cold 50 mile ride out to Little Neck Bay in Queens, got to follow a part of the marathon route before all the stinky runners came through. When I was leaving out, I proclaimed to Betsy that I was about to go get a donut, I even did a little donut-dance, as I enjoyed provoking her disapproval. However, once on the bike and going down Grand Street, I realized I wasn't hungry at all and skipped it. The stubborn little boy in me would of gotten that donut if she were riding with me, just to provoke her dissatisfaction. Hmmmm.

BREAKFAST: 7am, good yogurt with honey and raw nuts, hunger 3/5

AM GATORADING: 9am onwards, 24 oz gatorade

AM SNACK: 11am, bag of corn chips, hunger 4/5
In a little dinky grocery by the Little Neck railroad station, indulged in this salty unhealthy snack, thinking of the lunch I was going to get in an hour would be so healthy I could brag about it here. However....

LUNCH: noon, turkey on a roll with Swiss, lightly salted potato chips, 24 oz water
....the big Korean green grocer I've been going to in Beechhurst for years was out of business! Really no options other than Chinese food and a deli, so got a standard turkey sandwich, which I took out half he excess meat. Didn't taste overly salty, but I know it's hidden in the processed bits.

PM SNACK: 3pm, 3 whole wheat saltless pretzels, hunger 4/5

DINNER: 6pm, a whole homemade pizza give or take a slice, green salad, apple crisp with lemon sorbet, vegan donut holes, 2 glasses wine, hunger 4/5
Made dinner for Tamar and my cousin Iddo (and B, of course). A selection of different pizzas, most came out pretty good. Sauce is still missing something, but thinly slicing crimini mushrooms from the farmers market really worked well, roasted in the hot oven and kept moist by the thin layer of sauce. Got the dough thinner and the over hotter, the pizza was more cracker-like and light this time. Lemon sorbet was WAY too tart for my my taste, and the texture was a bit too icy, but it's an interesting start. Gonna try to make a simple chocolate gelato next....

Funny, pizza and ice cream was something I used to think I could eat everyday. But so much pizza and ice cream out in the world is such crap. But if I were to break them down into their ingredient components, get the best freshest healthiest organic parts, then combine them and cook them into pizza and ice cream....I guess it would still be relatively unhealthy if eaten every day, but sure reduces my taste for the crappier stuff...

Prepping for Tomorrow's 1st Annual Noah Pizza Festival

ADDENDA:
Wanted to sleep more, but after 6.5 hours, was ready to get up. Ilsa forwarded me an interesting article that underlined the relationship between (the lack of) sleep and obesity. I put myself to bed early and set my alarm to give me 8.5 hours, but I can't force myself...

Spent the morning prepping salad, processing ingredients to make lemon sorbet tomorrow (making any kind of ice cream from scratch seems require preparations 24 hours in advance.) Went to the farmers market and Wholefoods to get ingredients to serve a variety of guests (including the Hungry Vegan Society) 4 different pizzas...

BREAKFAST: 7am, organic cornflakes and good milk, hunger 3/5

BREAKFAST #2: 11am, pancakes & good no-nitrite bacon, hunger 4/5
I have a cousin from Israel staying with me, he was all about the bacon!

PM SNACK: 4pm, small bag of conventional potato chips

LINNER (DUNCH?): 5pm, pesto penne with shrimp, bread, water, hunger 4/5

EVENING SNACKS: 9pm, 2 small pieces cheese cake, 1 beer, 3 slices fancy sausage on small pieces of baguette, 2-3 olives
Birthday party in Brooklyn. I wanted to ride there, B wasn't having it.

Feelin' a Little Snotty

ADDENDA:
Nose a little mucousy this morning, body is starting to fight something. Feel fine, but this can be the precursor to a sickness. In the past I wold aim to eat healthier and take a vitamin C, but between my daily dirtpills and eating as well as I can already, not sure what additional preventative measure I can take other than just use common sense...

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, organic crispex and good milk, hunger 3/5

AM WATERING: 8:30am, 24 oz still water

BP: 8:45am, 130/92
New cuff is big and not as easy to use, may do this at home before bed instead of at work.

LUNCH: 12 noon, peanut butter superhippy bread sandwich, pretzels, celery, hummus, 24 oz still water, hunger 4/5
The Hungry Vegan Society got militant and commandeered 1/4 of my sandwich! And a pretzel, too!

PM SNACK: 1:30pm, brown rice tortilla chips, hunger 4/5
The HVS shared the wealth. Kinda salty, slight headache, I wonder if it's from the salt. Haven't had a food-related headache in a while.

PM SNACK: 3:15pm, 6 smallish cookies, hunger 4/5
Two packs of Linden's cookies - 3 is never enough, but 6 is a bit too much. Gonna make pizza from scratch tonight, hopefully won't need sweets after it.

Having a good work day, drinking extra water, the snottiness has resided for now.

DINNER: 8pm, small green salad, homemade pizza, large piece of dark chocolate, hunger 4/5
Fun making pizza with B. This time I got the oven hotter and the crust was crisper. Used garlic in the uncooked sauce, made it a little bitter that a dash of sugar will balance next time. Julienned some fresh basil on top and man did that hit the spot. Still not restaurant-ready, but definitely better than the local slice joints.

Even though I was full, I went for the dark chocolate. Part of me knew I shouldn't, but the bratty kid in me said "Fuck you and fuck it! I want what I WANT. NOW." Didn't feel guilty after so much as hmmmm, how should I approach getting this under control without pissing off the kid? Needs more thought...

New Day to Get It Right

ADDENDA:
I guess working a freelance gig while under the Superstuffed pressure cooker wasn't the best thing for my peace of mind or diet, but things are looking up. Packed a healthy lunch and gonna end the day with yoga and a healthy meal out with friends. Despite my crankiness last night, my wife still loves me for some odd reason...

BREAKFAST: 7:30am, good yogurt with honey, vanilla and raw cashews, hunger 4/5
Weirdly hungry this morning, good 9 hours sleep. Despite the crappiness of dinner, the quantity of it was below usual Chinese-brick proportions.

LUNCH: 1pm, 3/4 of a superhippy peanutbutter sandwich, large green salad with italian dressing, hunger 4/5
Kinda not satisfied, still hungry, though this meal has satisfied me before. Kinda want sugar, kinda just want...more lunch. Will see how I feel in an hour or so, maybe a snack of significant proportions is in order.

I donated the other 1/4 of the sandwich to the Hungry Vegan Society.

PM SNACK: 3:30pm, lamb on pita, hunger 4/5
Went out for air and yummy lamb. Good to go for yoga, and healthier bits after.

DINNER: 8:30pm, tofu "pad thai", marinated burdock roots, piece of good bread, sip of salty soup, tahini noodles, a couple of fried mushrooms, green salad with carrot dressing, water, hunger 4/5
After yoga, went to Souen with the Hungry Vegan Society. Food was OK, the so-called pad thai was terrible - the menu said it featured smoked tofu, but the few little bits that I found swimming in the peanut sauce were just ordinary.

The deserts there were horrendously healthy and none involved chocolate, so I skipped it....

Donut Disaster of a Different Order

BREAKFAST: 6:30am, organic brown rice crispies and good milk, hunger 3/5
I got the salted version, still not very good.

AM WATERING: 7:15am, 24 oz still water

AM SNACK: 10am, 1.5 vegan donuts, 1 small piece of baklava, hunger 4/5
Brought these in for T and coworkers, not very impressed with them (the donuts, that is) but after hauling them around the city since last night, had to try. Gosh, is that my sweet for the day?! Disaster!

LUNCH: 1pm, brick o' samosas, brown rice, pumpkin noodles and curry veg, hunger 4/5
Quick eats as I pumped out freelance work over my lunch.

PM SNACK: 4pm, conventional brownie, hunger 4/5
Falling asleep, needed sugar, felt cranky. Was a quick pickmeup and got me through till 6:30, but felt really shlocky after.

DINNER: 8:30pm, BBQ ribs and fried rice, egg roll, seltzer, cupcake, hunger 4/5
Tired, cranky, feeling bad about spoiling date night with B, needed comfort food. Wasn't planning on more sweets, but B brought them in special just for cranky little me. Thought of how much fun it was ordering Chinese food with my parents, the ceremony of walking down the street with my dad to pick it up because the tip for delivery seemed like a waste of money. I really enjoyed those little walks, then coming back and my mom set the table, like that's the equivalent of cooking!

Saturday and trying to get things done

BREAKFAST: 6:45am, yogurt with raw cashews, hunger 3/5

LUNCH: 12:15pm, 3 pancakes and low sodium bacon, hunger 4/5
Made new batch of mix, used the unprocessed succanat as the sweetener, weird, but good.

PM SNACK: 3:30pm, small amount of gelato, hunger 3/5

DINNER: 5:30pm, tofu and mungbean pancake appetizers, pumpkin noodle, grilled todok and asparagus with multi grain rice, water, hunger 4/5
Vegan Korean food with B&T. Skipped dessert because T won't eat any after 6pm. Between the meal starting before 6 AND a weekend, I think T should indulged, but I think Ilsa may of already inoculated her against my sinful ways....so me & B skipped desert too.

EVENING SNACK: 11pm, 2 pieces whole wheat toast with hummus, bowl of organic cornflakes with good milk, hunger 4/5
Hungry and desiring sweets, but didn't want to stay up.

G-Rated Porno at the Yoga Studio

ADDENDA:
Had my first encounter with a yoga class last night. Feel fine today. Reminds me when I started cycling. I bought a road bike, spent over $1500 on the bike and gear. I remember coming home from my first ride, couldn't of been more than 20 miles, and felt horrible - my back was killing me from the new position on the bike, the thin wheels made it feel like I was rolling over ice, my thighs were burning and could not cool down. I felt weak and awkward and the last thing I wanted to do was get back on this bike. I was waaaay out of my comfort zone.

Last night's yoga class was barely out of my comfort zone, but when it wasn't, the comfortzone was left in the dust. The corpse pose was just laying there, some of the tree poses just seemed like stretches from high school gym.

On the other hand, holding the downward dog tore into my abdominals and the child pose where I had my head on the floor hurt my head crazily. Felt very inflexible and tight, and by the end realized this yoga thing was like cycling hard and changing my diet, in that I was only going to get out of it what I put in.

The teacher having us repeat the names of the poses was a bit creepy, and her going around in the dark, while we were all lying on the floor, massaging each pupil's feet with smelly oil was like a scene out of a G-rated gangbang porno. Of the hour and half, it was 70 minutes o f not feeling much and not getting it, and 20 minutes of awkward pain.

But it was kinda cool to stand on a block and do the Jethro Tull pose, just needed a flute... I don't know. I'm definitely gonna stick with the 3 remaining intro classes, maybe it'll smooth out like the bike riding did, and god (or vishnu or ganesh or whoever them yoga peeps pray to) knows I need some cross training to balance out the kinds of exercise I get (which is 95% biking, 5% walking).

He he. Last night I told Tamar she put a Yoga Hex on me when I started hiccupping. She said, "You better not name your blog entry that!" And she said I sometimes say/write things that I don't mean 100%, but put out there to cause a stir. So I dedicate today's blog entry to Tamar. So there!

BREAKFAST: 8:30am, good oatmeal, hunger 3/5

LUNCH: 1:15pm, lamb over rice, chocolate ice cream cone, hunger 4/5
Lunch with Danny. Very spicy. Felt the need to indulge, ice cream cone went down really easy. I was almost hoping for it to be unappealing with it's conventional milk and not very chocolately flavor, BUT it was damn good and creamy and cold.

PM SNACK: 3pm, large piece of really good chocolate cake, hunger 3/5
Birthday for the boss lady in the office. Too good to pass up.

DINNER: 7:30pm, two grilled kielbasa sandwiches, 1 grilled potato pirogi, on good bread with a little kraut, half a beer, 2 pints of water, hunger 3/5
Backyard birthday party in Queens w/ B's friends. Not healthy food, but enjoyable, WAY too salty. I used to like this kind of sausage but it just tasted too briny, like it was vaguely pickles in a not-good way. After adding a little kraut to hopefully change the flavor....ugh. That was dumb.

Road the tandem with B, ran into other friends of her on the way home. The whole night was a good vibe. Glad she's my wife, I'd certainly be a blubbering (and blubbery) mess with out her.

In Jail, Waiting for My Parents

ADDENDA:
Got to sleep early, Betsy-style, last night again and again had some weird dreams. I was with my dad, he was in his later years, we were out shopping at the greenmarket, we were arm in arm as he needed me for balance (he hated using a cane, I was happy to be one for him.) This had happened before, though I wasn't very conscious of the greenmarket, I just thought it was my dad being a "cheapo", as my mom would say. In my dream, I asked my dad where my mom was. In real life, it was very common for me and my dad to go out together alone, because my mom was still working full time, and while she enjoyed it, when she was home she just wanted to vegetate.

Well, I asked my dad where my mom was and he said, "In jail." My mom never had anything to do with the criminal life, and I was quite upset. He didn't tell me why, but the next thing I know I'm on a long trip to a maximum security prison somewhere far away.

Had to go through several layers of security, wait in a crowded room with 100s of other folks, mostly poor and minorities. To pass the time, I started reading the New Yorker, which tends to have extremely long and involved articles. I look up, a lot of time had passed, and the waiting room was empty. I go to the front and tell the guard I'd like to see my mom now. She replies that visitors are only allowed once an hour on the half hour, and the time now was 5 o'clock, so I'd have to wait longer.

And that's all I remember. I guess I always felt the likelihood of my mom ever dying was about equal to her going to prison - just about nil. Part of me doesn't believe she's dead, just unexplainably missing, and I'm just waiting for her to come back to me.

When I was walking cross town yesterday looking for something different for lunch, passed a Brazilian steakhouse. I remember my dad raving about the tons of meat they serve you in a place like that - some of his chemistry professor buddies took him there, he went back with mom. I never went to that kind of restaurant - for the last 4-5 years of my dad's life, I was mostly non-dairy vegetarian (it was his illness that drove me to the comfort of bacon).

Why was I vegetarian for so long? (I'd say vegan, but that would confuse me with people who abstain from ALL animal products for ethical reasons, I just didn't eat it) I would have to say it was to feel the control over my own diet that I didn't have growing up. It was a clear directive - NO animal product in any form - it simplified the choices available. For me, didn't make it healthier or tastier - potato chips are vegan, and vegan pancakes taste like cardboard - though in intervening years I've experienced much better vegan dining (thanks T!)

Even before and after my flings without animal products, I ate a lot of sugar-free fat-free fakey foods. Diet coke, sugar-free Italian ices, skim milk, margarine (actually, that has all the fat and none of the flavor, WTF?), a general fear of whole animal food - cook it? Eat it? YIKES! I'm moving away from that fear. Yeah, the food supply is fucked by capitalism, red meat full of hormones and grains unnatural to the animal - but other peeps are catching up, and better tasting, healthier stuff IS here in NYC, I just gotta go get it. In terms of control, that fear controls ME. I would rather control that fear, and widen the variety of health-giving foods in my day-to-day routine. But I babble.

More super-hippy lunches. Less corporate sub shop lunches...

BREAKFAST: 6:30am, conventional cornflakes with good milk, hunger 3/5

BREAKFAST #2: 9am, toasted onion bagel with conventional hummus, hunger 4/5
Betsy woke up early because she's going away to see her dad this weekend. After my dream, I kinda didn't want to go back to sleep. Got a lot of chores done, but they left me hungry before work.

AM SNACK: 10am, 24 oz still water

BP 11:45am: 121/88
Researching more accurate blood pressure monitoring. All seem to agree an arm cuff is more accuraqte than the wrist cuff I've been using...but this is also interesting (from the Mayo Clinic's site):

Your blood pressure at home is usually slightly lower than it is in a medical office, typically by a measurement of about five points. For instance, a reading at home of 135/85 millimeters of mercury (mm Hg) is about the same as 140/90 mm Hg at the doctor's office.

LUNCH: 12:45pm, pork tonkatsu with curry and rice, miso soup, hunger 3/5
Not too hungry but Erikka was. This was so damn good. This Japanese noodle place has a line infront of it every day, mostly with Japanese people, and it's easy to taste why.

PM SNACK: 3pm, two apple danishes, hunger 3/5
OK, today is a weird eating day, hands down. Craved sugar, went downstairs hoping to get something healthy-ish. Chocolate stuff looked too intense, ordered an apple Danish. Being it's Friday, they're looking to unload stock and gave me two. Thinking, urg, I'll give one away. Ate the first one....surprisingly not very sweet, in a good way. Then the second one stood up, attacked my face and jumped down my throat....

Feeling very full but not sick, or sugar-jumpy....yet.

ADDENDA: It's 4pm, and I got a headache! Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me...

PM SNACK: 6:45pm, half a soapy beer

DINNER: 8pm, seitan satay, samosa, vegan jap chae, water, 1 cookie, hunger 2/5
From the danish binge to the beer, wasn't hungry, but it was Friday night out with T, so the food was more entertainment than nourishment. Wild Ginger was surprisingly good, if the Jap Chae was too spicey. Wandered to Wholefoods for dessert. I bought 2 cookies, while T bought 1...after eating one, it occurred to me why did I buy 2? One cookie always seemed like too little....but it was more than enough.

Tomorrow, a Donut!

ADDENDA:
After a passover seder, it is traditional to exclaim, "Next year in Israel!", as the ceremonial dinner is very much about the Jews being caste out of Egypt and wandering for many years. Afer today's bike ride, I found myself exclaiming, "Tomorrow a donut!"

Woke up before 5 to get my gear on and meet up with T in Brooklyn. Getting out of the city was a wonderfully relaxing thing, with so few cars, delayed only by a random press conference blocking access to the GWB. We explored some secondary roads of NJ into Rockland county, wound our way back to the Hudson, then over the Bear Mountan Bridge to Garrison to meet the train.

BREAKFAST: 5:20am, half bagel with butter, a little seltzer, dirtpill hunger 1/5
Not hungry, but gotta get the motor started on something.

POWER SNACK #1: 8:45am, 2 whole wheat saltless pretzels, 1 peanut butter sandwich on whole grain bread, a bit of lemonade-flavored gatoraide, water, hunger 2/5
Not hungry, but I know it's from the riding, not too many calories.

I brought gatoraide on this trip, first time in a while. I experimented with a few healthier powders but couldn't hack the taste. I made a homemade sports drink wit coconut water and honey and water last week, but my bike malfunctioned before I got to the point of tasting it. Unlike last week's ride, if I were to have any kind of digestive stress, I wouldn't be able to end the ride, I'd have to complete no matter how uncomfortable (save for calling a very expense cab to a train).

POWER SNACK #2: 10:45am, 1 whole wheat pretzel, cliff bar, a little gatoraide, water, hunger 2/5
Upper Saddle River, in front of an volunteer ambulance company. Last time I was on this route, I called my mom from here. Infact, every time I had done this route, I called my parents at this spot, about 43 miles in...

POWER SNACK #3: 1pm, 1 whole wheat pretzel, peanut butter sammich, bit of gatoraide, water, hunger 2/5
Feeling a bit rubbery but good, fresh air, trees, gazebos, houses spaced out a bit more.

END SNACK: 3:30pm, chocolate hagendaaz bar, bag of sea salt & vinegar potato chips, a handful of oat cookies, 24 oz water, hunger 5/5
Felt my stomach reviving in the last few miles, anticipation of non-bike food roaring. Not the healthiest snacks, but literally 3x tastier than if I was just sitting in an office.

TRAIN SNACK: 4:30, one pretzel rod, hunger 3/5
Residual hunger - my stomach was full but I know I'd need to eat again soon...

DINNER: 6:30pm, large green salad, large amount of whole wheat pasta with homemade sauce and curry lamb sausage, large amount of water and seltzer, hunger 4/5
No desert! (There was no desert in the house, he he)

A Pause, A Thought, A Rejigger

Ate a few sinful things the past few weeks, a brick of chinese food here, a little bit too much pizza there. But over all I've felt well, considering the pressure of all the pre-present-post stresses of having a big wedding. Ready to be a bit more hardcore with the eating stylee, start some yoga, take a cooking class, get B preggers, etc etc.... and I find many of the things I've cut back or given up, I don't really miss...

I just reread this blog from the beginning, all the while thinking about all the things that struck me as odd the past week or so. Pancakes - early on I was missing the pancakes and bacon of the diner on my block. I went there many times with my parents, and on my own on weekends as a lazy treat. I struggled with some yucky organic-pancake mix, then hit the jackpot with making my own pancakes from scratch - the best pancakes.

Well, I went down to the diner a few days ago as a treat. They know me by order - 2 pancakes, bacon and a diet coke. I was sorely tempted to order the coke, not because I desired it but for the taste memory of all the other diet cokes that came before it, but I resisted, got a seltzer instead. The pancakes themselves were.....horrible! Yellow, gummy, tasting more of old oil than flour or butter. I enjoyed these?

Ate a lot of lobster-things in Cape Cod during our honeymoon. We had a kitchenette in our salty sea-side shack, the first night we picked up groceries to allow us to not have to eat out every meal. I won't bore you with the details here, but one thing that I wouldn't of done before was I bought a big bottle of grape juice - as a sinful treat! Not chocolate or candy or something obviously indulgent, but a high-sugar processed drink others would regard as 'healthy'. And it was MAD sweet, too, a nice sugar jolt to wake up to. I didn't totally stick to 'one sweet a day', but my sweets were less indulgent than if I weren't thinking about it.

Almost done with the Kingsolver book, really good. I went to the Union Square farmer's market around 9am this past Saturday - DAMN!! It was 2x bigger than it is during the week, with lots more variety. There was a lamb vendor, who had a bunch of coolers with all sorts of different cuts, and surrounding the booth was skeins of wool - how cool is that? Real people with real connections to the whole animal selling all the bits, not just the normal stuff. I decided to start simple, purchased some lamb curry sausage (yeah, I know, too much salt.) Fried it up on a new cast iron grill (thanks Tania!) with market onions - between the light spice of the curry balanced with the sweetness of the pomegranite and currants in the sausage, even Betsy wolfed down her half - she usually shys away from sausage. But in this sausage you could taste the lamby freshness.... I came to the market by bike, and bought as much as I could carry. Next time I will take my granny cart on the bike and stock up on more lamb, the pork vendor, fresh bread, and another huge salad...

The other night made pasta sauce in my dad's style, with vegetables mostly bought in the farmers market. Had Tamar over for dinner, she sheeplishly asked for salt, as she knows I'm trying to cut down. Made pasta from scratch, eggless for the first time, came out surprisingly good.

On the way to and from Cape Cod, we stopped in New Haven to try the pie at Frank Pepe's - in every book about pizza, the main talk is about NYC, but there is always mention of how New Haven is the only real competitor to NYC as the capital of East Coast Pizza. At Pepe's, the original owner is said to have had allergies to both cheese and tomato - so he invented the clam pie. I had the clam pie the first time, and had to have it again on the way back because it was so good - and I don't even like clams! Despite no cheese and tomatos, I had to admit this is reall pizza - the French idea of 'terroir' - you can really taste the place in this pie made of the best ingredients of the area.

Tomorrow, back to the blow by blow.... too busy with work and personal drama (non-Betsy) to even think straight....yep, I wrote this on the last day of my vacation....

Stomach in my Stomach (Sunday)

ADDENDA:
I know I loosen up on the food obsession on the weekends, but this was not a normal Sunday - for today was Betsy's bridal shower, and I had no idea of what that entailed, food or otherwise...

BREAKFAST: 10am, 3 pancakes and 3 pieces bacon, hunger 4/5.
Residual hunger from yesterday's ride, good thick sleep. This was my opportunity to make pancakes from scratch for Betsy and her mom, experimented with adding more milk and whipping the eggs in the mixer, they came out fantastic (my horn: toot toot!) Really good vibe to cook for B's mom. When my mom was ill and I was taking care of her, I made pancakes and bacon often, it reminded us of when my dad would cook breakfast.

AM SNACK: 11:30am, medium wedge of watermelon, hunger 3/5.
B and Momma gone, alone. B implied there would be food at the bridal thing, so I resisted eating a full lunch.

PM SNACKS: 2-4pm, a few crustless finger sandwiches, fancy chocolate cookies, a piece of coconut cake, a little mozz & tomato salad, a few bites of a gingerman cookie, a few chocolate pocky, a couple of glasses of seltzer.
When I nervously entered B's cousin's house (Hi Cathy! Hi Janet!), Momma quickly grabbed me by the arm and threw me to the wolves, but not before an impromptu photo session. Someone behind me stuck a gingerbread man cookie in my hand, and not knowing the significance of it, promptly bit it's arm off - I was hungry! A few crustly sandwiches, some yummy cookies, the gourmet fumes of a party well presented. The meet n' greet aspect, like a bike ride, kept my stomach tight n' quiet, fortunately, but the sweets did give me a headache after a bit. I found there was a matching bride-cookie, uneaten - doh! Good thing I didn't eat the head. The paraplegic groom and the well-dressed bride cookie came home with me and B.

On two side notes, I was surprised when Janet told me she was reading this blog. A) I haven't really advertised it, but I keep in public to help me stay honest and B) it's kinda boring, isn't it? But it was really nice talking to her about it and her own diet dilemmas. I told her that I obsess about everything that goes into my mouth here, on my blog, so I don't have to obsess about it at all other times - that never really occurred to me till it popped out of my mouth! And on a second side note, during a conversation with another about the diet this person ate to lose weight, she mentioned something called 'diet bread'. That gave me the heeby-jeebies on a few different levels. Not quite sure why yet, but maybe I'll work it with Ilsa!

LUNCH: 6pm, 3/4 of potato spinach kinish with mustard. 3/4 of a can of diet Sprite.
Not starving, but knew I was going to be hungry soon, and dinner wouldn't be until later. This was the last can of Sprite in the house, couldn't finish it because it just tasted.....thin and chemically bitter under a false sweetness.

DINNER: 9:45pm, (add the adjective 'wonderful to al the following) a few pieces of bread, 2 marinated chickpea bruschetta, a large portion of warm tripe a la parmegiano, a bit of green salad, a fistful of tender cold green and white beans, beef cheek ravioli with truffles and a goose liver reduction, pistachio chocolate semifreddo, 5 little samplings of different sorbets, one glass presseco, lots of water.
This was a meal to remember, to celebrate life with, to bond with and recognize life-long friends. My BFF Tamar took me out to a dinner of my choice to celebrate the end of my bachelorhood, as she originally couldn't make my bachelor party. I was a bit tentative about choosing a restaurant, as Tamar is a strict vegan (she eats no animal products what-so-ever). I love and respect that about her, and enjoy changing up and eating vegan-friendly when I'm out with her, but if given a choice of any restaurant, it'll by default probably involve tasty animals.

So I threw out Babbo, Batali's premier spot, and she scored reservations. I've never been, and had an idea of what to expect judging from his television shows, writings, cook books and interviews I've taken in over the years. I did know I would have to eat stuff I didn't normally go for, and that stuff would not be shared with Tamar. I know Ilsa wants me to expand my palate, but I don't think this is what she had in mind.

Everything was exceptionally fresh and well presented. The waiter was mercifully totally prepared to arrange a menu to suite Tamar's needs, and she was pleased as punch, which made the shared enjoyment of this meal more so. Uhhh, pleasing. The green bean appetiser was cold, but the beans were blanched then iced to a perfect crisp but not fibrous consistency - I gotta dig up the technique in the cook book. I've never eaten tripe, so this was a challenge. The portion was surprisingly large (I guess it's not flying out of the kitchen!) and looked really good, like little strips of a cross between fajita meat and octopus, bathed in a fresh tomato sauce with just a sprinkling of cheese on top. Putting it in my mouth, my first thought was, "Hmmm, tastes like what a zoo's monkey cage smells like!" - very gamy to the point of funk curling up my nose a little. The feel, the bite of the meet was wonderfully moist and just the right amount of springiness. The grilled bread that came with it cut the funk nicely, and before I knew it the plate was gone, and my stomach was full of stomach. Next time I have Chinatown dimsum, I'm definitely gonna join Danny for a selection of tripes (a cow does have 4 stomachs, after all!)

The beef cheek ravioli is as signature Batali dish, so I had it thinking, hey, how weird can a beef ravioli be? Again, gamey. This cut of meat is very flavorful, and how it was prepared with the liver and truffle seemed to accent the gaminess rather than hide it. The pasta wrapper had a nice bite to it that was similar (but somehow better) than the pasta I've made....something to aspire to.

I didn't know what a semifreddo was (why not just go the whole freddo?) but the pistachio chocolate thing (a pistachio mouse with a chocolate shell over a thin chocolate cookie surrounded by a pistachio sauce) was really good, and thankfully not gamy at all. Despite not eating most of the day, I was beyond stuffed and slowly pedalled my way home. Tamar is da bomb. I hope something good happens to her soon, so I can take her (and B) back there soon.