BREAKFAST: 9:30am, slice of tofu pie, glass of seltzer, hunger 4/5
Hey, I'm on vacation, and if the choice is between a pie with exactly 10 organic ingredients (Crust (whole wheat flour, vegetable shortening, sea salt), chocolate (cocoa mass, sugar, lecithin), tofu, (soy beans, binder, water), cinnamon) or a granola bar with over 35, well, I can forgive myself.
AM SNACK: 11:30am, banana, hunger 4/5
PM SNACK: 12:30pm, another slice of tofu pie, hunger 4/5
LUNCH: 2:30pm, bread & butter, small green salad, stuffed baked scrod with baked potato, water, hunger 4/5
PM SNACK: 7:30pm, baked lays potato chips, 35-ingredient granola bar, hunger 4/5
DINNER: 9pm, Caesar salad, pizza with roasted garlic and mushrooms, hunger 4/5
Got pizza from a different Andover joint, not as greezy but not up to NYC snuff. Comfortable meal indoors.
Saturday, November 24
Friday, November 23
According to the newspaper, I should be shopping right now.
ADDENDA:
Sleepy day in Andover with Betsy's family. Basically wake, eat, sleep, wake, eat, movie, eat, sleep.
In the evening, me and my mother-in-law took a walk in the moon-lit darkness down her road while her children pored over old correspondences. I remember after every Thanksgiving, one great pleasure would be for everyone to get out of the house and take a walk. A slow walk, appreciating the neighborhood, the weather, each other's company. Feel our full stomachs, feel content for our lack of needs.
BREAKFAST: 9:30am, 2 bialies, smoked salmon, temptee cream cheese, banana, seltzer, hunger 4/5
LUNCH: 3pm, bread & butter, small green salad, stuffed shrimp with baked potato, small amount of brownie & icecream, hunger 4/5
Last time I ate with B's family at Grassfields, had a very salty pilaf.
PM SNACK: 8pm, chocolate chip granola bar, hunger 4/5
I counted 35 ingredients, about half out of a chemistry set or a derivative of corn.
DINNER: 9pm, 2 small slices of over-cheesed crappy pizza, hunger 4/5
EVENING SNACK: 11pm, small slice of tofu pie, hunger 3/5
Nice late evening chow with momma-in-law.
Sleepy day in Andover with Betsy's family. Basically wake, eat, sleep, wake, eat, movie, eat, sleep.
In the evening, me and my mother-in-law took a walk in the moon-lit darkness down her road while her children pored over old correspondences. I remember after every Thanksgiving, one great pleasure would be for everyone to get out of the house and take a walk. A slow walk, appreciating the neighborhood, the weather, each other's company. Feel our full stomachs, feel content for our lack of needs.
BREAKFAST: 9:30am, 2 bialies, smoked salmon, temptee cream cheese, banana, seltzer, hunger 4/5
LUNCH: 3pm, bread & butter, small green salad, stuffed shrimp with baked potato, small amount of brownie & icecream, hunger 4/5
Last time I ate with B's family at Grassfields, had a very salty pilaf.
PM SNACK: 8pm, chocolate chip granola bar, hunger 4/5
I counted 35 ingredients, about half out of a chemistry set or a derivative of corn.
DINNER: 9pm, 2 small slices of over-cheesed crappy pizza, hunger 4/5
EVENING SNACK: 11pm, small slice of tofu pie, hunger 3/5
Nice late evening chow with momma-in-law.
Gobble Gobble, Yo
ADDENDA:
Thanksgiving in Andover, a suburb of Boston, this year is the first time in my life I've spent this holiday away from my hometown, NYC. Though I guess I should of saw it coming a million miles away, I'm missing my parents horribly today.
Different wings of the extended family took different holidays, and our wing was Thanksgiving. This was the only time of year my mom would 'cook', and by cook I mean coordinate. My dad would be responsible for the turkey and the salad, my mom would put the potatoes in the oven to bake, I would be responsible for the stuffing. My mom would make a big deal about how I 'made' the stuffing, but in reality it was from a box of Stouffers. I remember one year I suggested we actually stuff the turkey with it before cooking, I think the level of complexity it entailed was beyond the pale for my mom. My Brazilian uncle would bring really good homemade chocolate mouse, a trendy thing in the 70s. Aunts would bring booze and other pies. My mom could NOT go to sleep unless ALL the dishes were washed and set up to air-dry. The house (and in later years the apartment) was always full of people on Thanksgiving, and it was always a home-cooked meal. My mom would buy the turkey at least a week in advance, the table would be set at least 48 hours in advance, the nervous tension she had the day of, hours before anyone were to come and the entire home was scrubbed clean and there was just nothing left to do other than lie down and watch TV.
I look forward to the day of regularly hosting a holiday in my home with family and friends, with homemade food and days of preparation.
BREAKFAST: 7:30am, good yogurt with honey, vanilla, raw nuts, hunger 3/5
AM SNACK: 10:30am, veggie booty, liter of seltzer, hunger 4/5
Train to Boston.
AM SNACK: 11:30am, saltless whole wheat pretzels, hunger 4/5
PM SNACK: 12:30pm, bag of potato chips, hunger 4/5
PM SNACK: 3pm, toated chiabatta bread with bruchetta stuff, hunger 4/5
DINNER: 4pm, squash maple soup, grape sorbet, turkey medallions with apple cranberry stuffing, whipped potato croquet, steamed carrots, lots of bread & butter, pumpkin creme brulee, water, hunger 4/5
Formal dinner at the very white, WASPy New England Andover Inn.
EVENING SNACK: 7:30pm, popcorn, hunger 3/5
A Thankgiving evening movie out, a first for me.
Thanksgiving in Andover, a suburb of Boston, this year is the first time in my life I've spent this holiday away from my hometown, NYC. Though I guess I should of saw it coming a million miles away, I'm missing my parents horribly today.
Different wings of the extended family took different holidays, and our wing was Thanksgiving. This was the only time of year my mom would 'cook', and by cook I mean coordinate. My dad would be responsible for the turkey and the salad, my mom would put the potatoes in the oven to bake, I would be responsible for the stuffing. My mom would make a big deal about how I 'made' the stuffing, but in reality it was from a box of Stouffers. I remember one year I suggested we actually stuff the turkey with it before cooking, I think the level of complexity it entailed was beyond the pale for my mom. My Brazilian uncle would bring really good homemade chocolate mouse, a trendy thing in the 70s. Aunts would bring booze and other pies. My mom could NOT go to sleep unless ALL the dishes were washed and set up to air-dry. The house (and in later years the apartment) was always full of people on Thanksgiving, and it was always a home-cooked meal. My mom would buy the turkey at least a week in advance, the table would be set at least 48 hours in advance, the nervous tension she had the day of, hours before anyone were to come and the entire home was scrubbed clean and there was just nothing left to do other than lie down and watch TV.
I look forward to the day of regularly hosting a holiday in my home with family and friends, with homemade food and days of preparation.
BREAKFAST: 7:30am, good yogurt with honey, vanilla, raw nuts, hunger 3/5
AM SNACK: 10:30am, veggie booty, liter of seltzer, hunger 4/5
Train to Boston.
AM SNACK: 11:30am, saltless whole wheat pretzels, hunger 4/5
PM SNACK: 12:30pm, bag of potato chips, hunger 4/5
PM SNACK: 3pm, toated chiabatta bread with bruchetta stuff, hunger 4/5
DINNER: 4pm, squash maple soup, grape sorbet, turkey medallions with apple cranberry stuffing, whipped potato croquet, steamed carrots, lots of bread & butter, pumpkin creme brulee, water, hunger 4/5
Formal dinner at the very white, WASPy New England Andover Inn.
EVENING SNACK: 7:30pm, popcorn, hunger 3/5
A Thankgiving evening movie out, a first for me.
Wednesday, November 21
Dessert-Fast Conclusion: My Foundation Assumptions are Questioned
ADDENDA:
Last night with Ilsa, we spoke of my dessert fast. I realized somethings as I was saying it: what I learned kinda bugged me.
I'm NOT addicted to sugar. It's NOT a physical thing. It's REALLY in my head.
My habits have been created by two things: my environment and my personal choices. As a fully developed non-impaired human, I have a degree of power over my environment and a GREAT deal of power over my choices. Abdicating my power to 'addiction' was a massive cop-out. This is something I always felt was a major character flaw of a very close friend....
On a rambling side-note, I have/had a friend who for the sake of anonymity we'll call Lillian. I've known Lill since we were 18 yrs old, and over the years she's suffered all sorts of trials and tribulations due to her ADHD, obsessive-compulsive disorder and a host of other things I can't fully recall. She has been on all sorts of medications over the years. She's had good years, she's had bad years.
Recently, partly due to her issues, partly due to the passing of time, partly due to the situations our lives have given us of late, she (from my perspective) had a record bad year lately. I'm actually concerned for her safety and well-being, and have come to the conclusion that our relationship actually threatens her health. Anyway, the reason I bring this up is that I was always under the impression that a lot of her issues stemmed from poor choices she made. A lot of the difficulties which she claimed were due to her illnesses seemed to be self-indulgences rather than symptoms. As she has gone from cute-crazy to crazy-crazy in recent months, I wonder if she really was crazy-crazy all these years, or did the habits that emerged from her self-indulgences (and justified by being 'crazy') actually lead her to this point? After being so certain of the later for so long, now I really don't know.
Why this talk of Lill? I guess because it comes to the point of addiction versus choice, being actually crazy verses choosing to be 'crazy' to get your way and indulge yourself. If I continue to choose to be addicted to my indulgences for sweets, I eventually (like my father before me) will get sick with diabetes and all that stuff.
Last night's chocolate consumption, a part of bar while I actively cooked with the rest, seemed positive - engaging my senses while I focused on the task at hand. But I indulged myself - I couldn't stand that there was some left over. If I didn't finish it, it would seem incomplete. Unfortunately, it was a big enough portion. eaten late enough, to keep me up past my bedtime. This defies common sense!! I didn't eat it because of addiction, I ate it because I was indulging myself, choosing not to express self-control. If I'm ever going to seriously lose a little weight and keep it off, these lines have to be exposed for what they are. Why didn't I just wrap up a left over portion and save it for a more convenient (non-sleep) time? Maybe now that I know the devil's face, I can recognize him before he fools me into committing self-harm...
BREAKFAST: 8am, good yogurt with honey, vanilla, raw nuts, small serving of fresh chocolate gelato, hunger 3/5
Put the custard into the icecream making device, and it came out incredibly thick, creamy, chocolatey. Once I scraped as much as I could into a container for the freezer, I tasted it....oof, that was a mistake. I immediately ran to B with the chocolatey spoon, who was not enthused to try something so brown n' chunky looking while preening in the bathroom. I gotta say, even though this was my first attempt and messed up on some of the ingredients, even though the total price came to maybe $15/pint, even though the prep time was more than 24 hours, it's STILL yummier than the best gelato I was eating before the dessert fast.
AM WATERING: 10:30am, 24 oz still
BP 10:45am: 135/89
Though high, I'm a little happy it is because I kind of felt that it would be - a lot on my mind, still feel the sugar of the morning in me, feeling the end of my sickness squeaking out.
LUNCH: 2pm, large bowl of veggie booty, apple, hunger 3/5
DINNER: 6pm, small salad, about one pizza's worth of random pizzas, 1 piece chocolate tofu pie, large serving chocolate gelato, 3 glasses of wine & presecco, hunger 4/5
Friends over for a parade of pizza, was fun but due to a cheap-ass pizza stone malfunction, could only do one pie at a time and spent too much time in the kitchen. Pizzas not as good as they could of been due to rushing through the rolling of the dough. Tofu pie was too dry and dense, and the gelato was not aerated enough, probably due to not enough yokes and putting it all the in the icecream making machine at once rather than doing it in batches. Next time will be much better.
Last night with Ilsa, we spoke of my dessert fast. I realized somethings as I was saying it: what I learned kinda bugged me.
I'm NOT addicted to sugar. It's NOT a physical thing. It's REALLY in my head.
My habits have been created by two things: my environment and my personal choices. As a fully developed non-impaired human, I have a degree of power over my environment and a GREAT deal of power over my choices. Abdicating my power to 'addiction' was a massive cop-out. This is something I always felt was a major character flaw of a very close friend....
On a rambling side-note, I have/had a friend who for the sake of anonymity we'll call Lillian. I've known Lill since we were 18 yrs old, and over the years she's suffered all sorts of trials and tribulations due to her ADHD, obsessive-compulsive disorder and a host of other things I can't fully recall. She has been on all sorts of medications over the years. She's had good years, she's had bad years.
Recently, partly due to her issues, partly due to the passing of time, partly due to the situations our lives have given us of late, she (from my perspective) had a record bad year lately. I'm actually concerned for her safety and well-being, and have come to the conclusion that our relationship actually threatens her health. Anyway, the reason I bring this up is that I was always under the impression that a lot of her issues stemmed from poor choices she made. A lot of the difficulties which she claimed were due to her illnesses seemed to be self-indulgences rather than symptoms. As she has gone from cute-crazy to crazy-crazy in recent months, I wonder if she really was crazy-crazy all these years, or did the habits that emerged from her self-indulgences (and justified by being 'crazy') actually lead her to this point? After being so certain of the later for so long, now I really don't know.
Why this talk of Lill? I guess because it comes to the point of addiction versus choice, being actually crazy verses choosing to be 'crazy' to get your way and indulge yourself. If I continue to choose to be addicted to my indulgences for sweets, I eventually (like my father before me) will get sick with diabetes and all that stuff.
Last night's chocolate consumption, a part of bar while I actively cooked with the rest, seemed positive - engaging my senses while I focused on the task at hand. But I indulged myself - I couldn't stand that there was some left over. If I didn't finish it, it would seem incomplete. Unfortunately, it was a big enough portion. eaten late enough, to keep me up past my bedtime. This defies common sense!! I didn't eat it because of addiction, I ate it because I was indulging myself, choosing not to express self-control. If I'm ever going to seriously lose a little weight and keep it off, these lines have to be exposed for what they are. Why didn't I just wrap up a left over portion and save it for a more convenient (non-sleep) time? Maybe now that I know the devil's face, I can recognize him before he fools me into committing self-harm...
BREAKFAST: 8am, good yogurt with honey, vanilla, raw nuts, small serving of fresh chocolate gelato, hunger 3/5
Put the custard into the icecream making device, and it came out incredibly thick, creamy, chocolatey. Once I scraped as much as I could into a container for the freezer, I tasted it....oof, that was a mistake. I immediately ran to B with the chocolatey spoon, who was not enthused to try something so brown n' chunky looking while preening in the bathroom. I gotta say, even though this was my first attempt and messed up on some of the ingredients, even though the total price came to maybe $15/pint, even though the prep time was more than 24 hours, it's STILL yummier than the best gelato I was eating before the dessert fast.
AM WATERING: 10:30am, 24 oz still
BP 10:45am: 135/89
Though high, I'm a little happy it is because I kind of felt that it would be - a lot on my mind, still feel the sugar of the morning in me, feeling the end of my sickness squeaking out.
LUNCH: 2pm, large bowl of veggie booty, apple, hunger 3/5
DINNER: 6pm, small salad, about one pizza's worth of random pizzas, 1 piece chocolate tofu pie, large serving chocolate gelato, 3 glasses of wine & presecco, hunger 4/5
Friends over for a parade of pizza, was fun but due to a cheap-ass pizza stone malfunction, could only do one pie at a time and spent too much time in the kitchen. Pizzas not as good as they could of been due to rushing through the rolling of the dough. Tofu pie was too dry and dense, and the gelato was not aerated enough, probably due to not enough yokes and putting it all the in the icecream making machine at once rather than doing it in batches. Next time will be much better.
Tuesday, November 20
Will today be a sugar-fast by default?
ADDENDA: Forgot my apple n' cheese this morning, and am out of bananas. I wonder how my sugar-lust will go today. Didn't pack lunch as have social obligations for lunch.
BREAKFAST: 7am, toasted wholewheat bagel with a thin shmear of organic cream cheese, hunger 3/5
Spent the morning chopping salad to open the pizza-freakout tomorrow...
AM WATERING: 10am, 24 oz still
BP 10:45am: 128/83
LUNCH: 12:30pm, chicken tonkatsu with curry sauce over rice, hunger 4/5
Asked for pork, but it was a little dry, tasted a little plain, the meat was a little whiter than usual, and rather than homogeneously thick, got thicker at one end. I was half way through when I realized it wasn't pork! Didn't ask for a new dish because I ate so much already, felt silly.
PM WATERING: 2:30pm, 24 oz still
PM SNACK: 4:30pm, 2 potato samosas, small amount of pumpkin noodles, hunger 4/5
Hungry, don't want to be starving and obsessing about chocolate when I see Ilsa!
DINNER: 8pm, green salad, sauteed shrimp in parsley sauce over long grain brown jasmine rice, hunger 4/5
Good home cooked dinner, the shrimp came out a little too boiled instead of sauteed due to not clearing the ice off them before dumping in the wok. I gotta work on that.
EVENING SNACK: 9:30pm, 3 oz dark chocolate, hunger 3/5
Wasn't craving it, but I cooked the custard that is the basis of the chocolate gelato. Of the 7 oz bar, 4oz went into the recipe and rather then sticking my fingers in and sampling as I went along, I just ate the left over chocolate. Kept me up till 1am.
Monday, November 19
PCW (Pounds of Chocolate Per Week)
ADDENDA:
This dessert fast thing was kind of a weird shock to the system, and my minor illness at the end of it a small revelation. I sure feel healthier than I did since starting to consult with Ilsa and write this blog. Where do I go from here?
Do I want this to become a blog about discovering cooking, or a blog about losing weight and keeping it off? Does that have to be incompatible? Maybe I should work up some weekly stats about how many meals I made or prepared myself, and how many were eaten out? Fruit vs. dessert intake? Pounds of chocolate per week?
BREAKFAST: 7:30am, organic chex with good milk, banana, hunger 3/5
AM WATERING: 9:45am, 24 oz still
BP 10am: 133/102
Weird because of recent illness? First time I had a really high BP measurement at the docs was after an illness.
PM WATERING: Noon, 24 oz still
LUNCH: 12:15pm, veg Indian combo plate with rice, hunger 4/5
Spicy mouth, thought about getting dessert, as I CAN if I want to, but decided against it, got cheese n' apple with me. Probably get a meaty thing towards the end of the day to get me through the class tonight.
PM SNACK: 3:15pm, apple & onion edamer raw milk cheese, hunger 3/5
LUNCH #2: 4:30pm, lamb on pita, hunger 4/5
DINNER: 8:30pm, cup of bitter greens liquid, coleslaw with plum-mustard dressing, aduki squash stew, long grain brown rice with parsley garlic sauce, sauteed kale with mushrooms, 2 jelly almond torte cookies, hunger 4/5
Cooking class was a demonstration of preparation of all these vegan dishes, flashes of interest but mostly boring and silly. I don't need a demonstration how to cook rice (especially since I now own a rice cooker!) During the class, I was thinking of going out to get hot dogs & tater tots, an old favorite meal I haven't indulged in in quite a while. The first thing I tried was the liquid from the kale she was cooking. Very bitter, at first I was 'yuuuuk!' but then, I don't know, I just kind if LIKED it's differentness and drank the whole cup. The food was a bit dorky in a 70s vegan kind of way, but other than the stew (too much ginger), it was all quite delicious and I plan to make the parsley sauce for rice tonight....to compliment some PORK, yo!
I think I will experiment with the kale/escarole/spinach thing, sauteing with mushrooms n' stuff. The only concern I had about the food is she really did not go light on the salt. It was sea-salt, but still.
EVENING SNACK: 10:30pm, veggie booty, hunger 4/5
Something tells me this is a newly emerging habit that Ilsa will not be fond of.
This dessert fast thing was kind of a weird shock to the system, and my minor illness at the end of it a small revelation. I sure feel healthier than I did since starting to consult with Ilsa and write this blog. Where do I go from here?
Do I want this to become a blog about discovering cooking, or a blog about losing weight and keeping it off? Does that have to be incompatible? Maybe I should work up some weekly stats about how many meals I made or prepared myself, and how many were eaten out? Fruit vs. dessert intake? Pounds of chocolate per week?
BREAKFAST: 7:30am, organic chex with good milk, banana, hunger 3/5
AM WATERING: 9:45am, 24 oz still
BP 10am: 133/102
Weird because of recent illness? First time I had a really high BP measurement at the docs was after an illness.
PM WATERING: Noon, 24 oz still
LUNCH: 12:15pm, veg Indian combo plate with rice, hunger 4/5
Spicy mouth, thought about getting dessert, as I CAN if I want to, but decided against it, got cheese n' apple with me. Probably get a meaty thing towards the end of the day to get me through the class tonight.
PM SNACK: 3:15pm, apple & onion edamer raw milk cheese, hunger 3/5
LUNCH #2: 4:30pm, lamb on pita, hunger 4/5
DINNER: 8:30pm, cup of bitter greens liquid, coleslaw with plum-mustard dressing, aduki squash stew, long grain brown rice with parsley garlic sauce, sauteed kale with mushrooms, 2 jelly almond torte cookies, hunger 4/5
Cooking class was a demonstration of preparation of all these vegan dishes, flashes of interest but mostly boring and silly. I don't need a demonstration how to cook rice (especially since I now own a rice cooker!) During the class, I was thinking of going out to get hot dogs & tater tots, an old favorite meal I haven't indulged in in quite a while. The first thing I tried was the liquid from the kale she was cooking. Very bitter, at first I was 'yuuuuk!' but then, I don't know, I just kind if LIKED it's differentness and drank the whole cup. The food was a bit dorky in a 70s vegan kind of way, but other than the stew (too much ginger), it was all quite delicious and I plan to make the parsley sauce for rice tonight....to compliment some PORK, yo!
I think I will experiment with the kale/escarole/spinach thing, sauteing with mushrooms n' stuff. The only concern I had about the food is she really did not go light on the salt. It was sea-salt, but still.
EVENING SNACK: 10:30pm, veggie booty, hunger 4/5
Something tells me this is a newly emerging habit that Ilsa will not be fond of.
Sunday, November 18
Googling 'Dessert Fast' gets fast dessert recipes
ADDENDA:
Got a slightly fitful 9 hours of sleep, due to stuffy nose. Woke up groggy and headachey. My nose mucus is very yellowy, sign of my body fighting the good fight. May have to refrain from social obligations today, and refrain from cooking (don't want to get my sick into a week's worth of food!)
Today at around noon will be a full 7 days without desserts. Is this illness my body reacting to the change? Things over-all are going good with work, with B, with home, looking forward to going away with B for Thanksgiving, so I don't think it's depression or stress related as it may of been years ago. In the past, when I got sick, it was fast and overwhelming and would knock me out for 4-5 days solidly. This feels different, like my body is stronger in fighting it. I believe I may be OK tomorrow (knock on wood.)
Yesterday I bought a 2nd pizza stone, a sieve, a sifter and a garlic-roasting thingy. Wednesday is going to be another full-on pizza freakout with a few friends...
BREAKFAST: 8:30am, good yogurt with honey, vanilla and raw cashews, hunger 3/5
AM DRUGGING: 9am, 2 extra strength tylenol, 1 500mg vitamin C (rosehips)
This is on top of my daily dirtpill...
AM SNACK: 10:30am, 1 slice of toasted superhuppy bread with good peanut butter, hunger 4/5
LUNCH: 12:30pm, 12 boiled mixed perogies with onion, hunger 4/5
This is the meal I usually desire after being sick for a while. This illness is different - my appetite and, uhhh, output, is not being affected, but I'm definitely stuffy headed.
PM SNACK: 4pm, small amount of chocolate tofu pie
batter, hunger 3/5
This is the definition of fun. Watched a movie for a couple of hours on the couch, felt a little better, restless. Don't want to make sick food, but baking will kill the germs, right? So I made a couple of tofu pies for this coming Wednesday, but for the first time I made crust from scratch. I really didn't know what I was doing, but I was giggling like an insane person as I did it, watching things come out kinda weird and wrong. I wish I had a mother or grandmother who could of taught me the so-called 'women's work' of old - making pie crust from scratch is a lot trickier than it looks, as shortening is very temperamental!
As I did with my mom as a kid when we made Betty Crocker brownies as a kid (ummmm, fudgy!), I licked the mixer jug after everything was in the oven. I guess this is how a dessert fast ends, eating chocolaty mess spread over my hands and face over a warm oven like I was a kid enjoying spending time with mom.
DINNER: 8:45pm, singapore rice noodles & pork, half a shrimp summer roll, hunger 4.5/5
Got out of the house and saw a movie with Danny, felt much better for it. Dinner at cheap Vietnamese place with huge portions. No desire for dessert.
EVENING SNACK: 11:30pm, bowl of veggie booty, hunger 3/5
Slight case of insomnia. Go to bed around 1.
Got a slightly fitful 9 hours of sleep, due to stuffy nose. Woke up groggy and headachey. My nose mucus is very yellowy, sign of my body fighting the good fight. May have to refrain from social obligations today, and refrain from cooking (don't want to get my sick into a week's worth of food!)
Today at around noon will be a full 7 days without desserts. Is this illness my body reacting to the change? Things over-all are going good with work, with B, with home, looking forward to going away with B for Thanksgiving, so I don't think it's depression or stress related as it may of been years ago. In the past, when I got sick, it was fast and overwhelming and would knock me out for 4-5 days solidly. This feels different, like my body is stronger in fighting it. I believe I may be OK tomorrow (knock on wood.)
Yesterday I bought a 2nd pizza stone, a sieve, a sifter and a garlic-roasting thingy. Wednesday is going to be another full-on pizza freakout with a few friends...
BREAKFAST: 8:30am, good yogurt with honey, vanilla and raw cashews, hunger 3/5
AM DRUGGING: 9am, 2 extra strength tylenol, 1 500mg vitamin C (rosehips)
This is on top of my daily dirtpill...
AM SNACK: 10:30am, 1 slice of toasted superhuppy bread with good peanut butter, hunger 4/5
LUNCH: 12:30pm, 12 boiled mixed perogies with onion, hunger 4/5
This is the meal I usually desire after being sick for a while. This illness is different - my appetite and, uhhh, output, is not being affected, but I'm definitely stuffy headed.
PM SNACK: 4pm, small amount of chocolate tofu pie
batter, hunger 3/5This is the definition of fun. Watched a movie for a couple of hours on the couch, felt a little better, restless. Don't want to make sick food, but baking will kill the germs, right? So I made a couple of tofu pies for this coming Wednesday, but for the first time I made crust from scratch. I really didn't know what I was doing, but I was giggling like an insane person as I did it, watching things come out kinda weird and wrong. I wish I had a mother or grandmother who could of taught me the so-called 'women's work' of old - making pie crust from scratch is a lot trickier than it looks, as shortening is very temperamental!
As I did with my mom as a kid when we made Betty Crocker brownies as a kid (ummmm, fudgy!), I licked the mixer jug after everything was in the oven. I guess this is how a dessert fast ends, eating chocolaty mess spread over my hands and face over a warm oven like I was a kid enjoying spending time with mom.
DINNER: 8:45pm, singapore rice noodles & pork, half a shrimp summer roll, hunger 4.5/5
Got out of the house and saw a movie with Danny, felt much better for it. Dinner at cheap Vietnamese place with huge portions. No desire for dessert.
EVENING SNACK: 11:30pm, bowl of veggie booty, hunger 3/5
Slight case of insomnia. Go to bed around 1.
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