ADDENDA:
I woke at 5am to make a 6:20 train to Garrison with my road bike. Off the train at 8, my lungs were burning and my legs were screaming about five minutes later as I pushed my way up the steep grade from river to hilltop. Three miles east lay my parent's gravesite, which I visited and had a good cry and an outloud conversation, saying things I would of taken great pleasure in saying to them if they were here.
Thing is, I did this journey a few weeks before I left for my cross country bikeride - I wanted to attack and climb the hills of the Hudson Valley to get me ready for the climbs of the California mountains and Ozarks. This time I went more to commune with the folks, get my head clear as we come closer to my wedding day.
On the previous ride, I distinctly remember my hunger and what I ate - a slice of pizza outside of Croton-Harmon and a big plate of Chinese food around Irvington. Add to that a huge case of the runs in the public bathroom outside the 1 train in Van Cordlant Park.... This time, my mood was more....serene. The ride went by in a flash, the hills weren't as challenging as I remember (bumps compared to the Ozarks) and what I ate was considerably different....
BREAKFAST #1: 5:30am, toasted bagel with good butter, hunger 2/5. Not hungry, but too early to buy donuts. Even Dunkin' doesn't open till 6am.
BREAKFAST #2: 10am, BLT bagel, bag of linden cookies (lots of water), hunger 3/5. Outside the graveyard at Adams Corner's, me and mom ate snacks here several times when we visited my father. The smell of bacon tempted me. This is the first time having conventional bacon in a while, and I was kinda surprised how much I didn't like it - salty to the point of unpleasantness, it actually interfered with the porky, smokey flavor that makes bacon so good.
AM SNACK: 11:30ish, swig of fizzy water (lots of water). Ilsa gave me a packet of something as an alternative to Emergen-C, which I was hoping to use as a low-sodium replacement for Gatorade. Emergenn-C tasted like pee to me. This stuff tasted like burnt pee. I think I'm going to invent my own sports drink involving fresh citrus and apple juices (from a juicer), honey, water etc. Doesn't this Emergen-C stuff come in a pill?
PM SNACK: 1pm, apple turnover (lots of water), hunger 2/5. I passed through a huge farmers market in Peekskill about 10 miles away from Adams Coerns, but I was still bacon-stuffed. Another 20 miles up and down, I was grinding up the hill in Ossening, I remembered the farmers market there from the previous mountain bike ride, but I just was not hungry. As I squeaked past the turnoff, the idea of CIDER DONUTS raced through my mind, and I immediately turned back and shot down the hill. The donut peeps were there, but this time I had a big apple turnover.
Oh man. Growing up, I loved them hostess apple pies, with the little bits of dehydrated white apple in syrupy apple bath enveloped by a flakey crust. As an adult, I rarely eat these, as they're way too sweet and kinda crappy tasting. This apple turnover was the adult version. The crust was light and flakey, encrusted with granulated sugar but more buttery than sweet. The insides was a dark brown apple mush, equal parts sweet and tart, and overwhelmingly apple-y - absolutely no syrup, and didn't need any. I got a good slow sugar rush, that pushed me back up the hill.
PM SNACK: 4:30pm, large wedge of watermelom, hunger 4/5. Taking the train home from Van Cordlant, I realized I had enough energy to ride all the way home, but not enough time. Had a cliff bar on me, but just wasn't hungry. By the time I got home and relaxed, my stomach loosened and my jaw slackened and down went the watermelon. Yum!
PM SNACK: 5:30pm, 3 graham crackers with organic peanutbutter, hunger 4/5. Ravenous.
DINNER: 7:00pm, large mostly vegetarian Ethiopina meal, hunger 4/5. Ate with B and her mom, whose never had Ethiopian food before. Ordered a weird beef n' kale thing to go along with, my muscles were a little burnt and long-chain proteins like beef help quicken recovery.
PM SNACK: 9pm, cherry italian ice, hunger 3/5. Jonesing for sweets, felt good.
PM SNACK: midnight, one bite of gnochi, small bowl of rice crispies and whole milk, hunger 3/5. Hunger from the day's activity reared up again. Tried making some frozen gnochi, but didn't let the water boil and it became an unappetizing porridge. The small bowl of cereal satisfied me.
Showing posts with label butter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label butter. Show all posts
Sunday, August 12
Thursday, July 19
I Can't Believe It's Butter!
ADDENDA:
Last night's steak was very pleasurable, enjoyed it more than i thought i would - perhaps it was the context of the celebration and the warm vibes of two good friends catching up after a long time apart. The ladies ordered boring entrees - a seared tuna salad and a sauted salmon, zzzzzzz. Though they both claimed they were too full for desert, when my chocolate cake came they definitely had their share. So much so I had to go buy a couple of madelines after to get my sweets in.
Ilsa asked me to write in this journal not only what I'm eating, but what I want but choose not to eat. Thing is, I'm not one to really deny myself what I want. What I choose usually IS what I want. I don't know if this is self-delusion or something, but I don't feel like I've denied myself anything up to this point. Diet coke, whatever, it's nice but I don't miss it. Had a half glass of champagne last night, not because I was trying to be good but because I've never really liked alcohol, taste or how it makes me feel. Denying myself what I want is not fun, so should I really pick apart the subliminal process I've developed to let me feel like nothing is being denied? I guess self-knowledge is better than fear of upsetting the applecart.
This morning in the shower, NPR mentioned an upcoming interview with author Barbara Kingsolver on her book about eating locally, and how eating is one of those rare ocassions where acting ethically coincides directly with increased pleasure. Another argument for my grass-fed butter infatuation!
BREAKFAST: 7:45am Onion bagel with grass fed butter, pint of lime seltzer. Hunger 3/5. Felt good, good sleep on the new bed, though hunger did wake me up several times this morning - Rufus's hunger! He was meowing like he was James Brown. Ilsa has suggested trying flat water instead of so much carbonated water, I'm going to limit my seltzer intake on a trial basis, but it's an excellent breakfast treat. Now if they could carbonate bacon...
LUNCH: 1pm cajun seitan sandwich with kale, sauted onions on a whole wheat bun, a little vegan mayo (salty), a side of coleslaw, water. Hunger 3/5. Quiet at work, pedalled up through Central Park to Candle Cafe on the UES. Water they serve is only a little cooler than room temp, and many times before people have remarked on the yumminess of there water. I wonder if it's tap or filtered. Tasted OK to me. I was really happy with the sandwich, but upon thinking about my baser instincts, I probably would of chosen french fries instead of coleslaw, but the slaw was quite yummy.
PM SNACK: 2pm, 20oz tap water that was poured before I left for lunch. Not hungy but thirsty, rode hard to avoid rain. I see what Ilsa says about water having more flavor when its room temp, but not sure whether thats a plus or not. Don't mind it, though.
PM SNACK: 4:15pm, largish chocolate chip cookie icecream sandwich, 20 oz sill water, hunger 4/5. Craving sweets, and hadn't had an icecream sandwich in a while. "Toll House" brand, sold in the commisary in the lobby, everything about it screams industrial...but where does one go to get a handmade organic icecream sandwich when your craving it? 320mg of sodium, damn. Slight head ache before I decided to go get this.
DINNER: 6pm. medium green salad with italian dressing, pasta with basil pesto and grated cheese, glass of seltzer, a few small pieces of baking chocolate. hunger 2/5 - Not horrendously hungry after the icecream sandwich, but I was supposed to go to an early evening kareoke thing with coworkers and thought it unwise to go on anything other than a near-full stomach. Despite not being that hungry, the pasta was delicious, pesto from whole foods. I tried to make pesto once, it came out bitter and gross, I think I used too much basil and too little oil.
EVENING: 8pmish. 2 saporro drafts. To be social, didn't give me any buzz thanks to dinner, but did get me through a cringe-inducing renditon of "Into the Groove"
EVENING: Midnight. 7 frozen shrimp dumplings from a korean grocery. Hunger 3/5. Sleeping really well last 2 nights, but was slow winding down this evening, the alcohol probably didn't help. I have all those frozen dumplings from Koreatown, I sometimes crave them but after eating these dumpling, they ARE kinda gross and salty. And after reading about all the insanely underinspected food imports coming in from Asia, it adds to a layer of creepiness. Rather than use myself as a trash can, I think I'm going to clear some stuff out of the freezer this weekend.
Last night's steak was very pleasurable, enjoyed it more than i thought i would - perhaps it was the context of the celebration and the warm vibes of two good friends catching up after a long time apart. The ladies ordered boring entrees - a seared tuna salad and a sauted salmon, zzzzzzz. Though they both claimed they were too full for desert, when my chocolate cake came they definitely had their share. So much so I had to go buy a couple of madelines after to get my sweets in.
Ilsa asked me to write in this journal not only what I'm eating, but what I want but choose not to eat. Thing is, I'm not one to really deny myself what I want. What I choose usually IS what I want. I don't know if this is self-delusion or something, but I don't feel like I've denied myself anything up to this point. Diet coke, whatever, it's nice but I don't miss it. Had a half glass of champagne last night, not because I was trying to be good but because I've never really liked alcohol, taste or how it makes me feel. Denying myself what I want is not fun, so should I really pick apart the subliminal process I've developed to let me feel like nothing is being denied? I guess self-knowledge is better than fear of upsetting the applecart.
This morning in the shower, NPR mentioned an upcoming interview with author Barbara Kingsolver on her book about eating locally, and how eating is one of those rare ocassions where acting ethically coincides directly with increased pleasure. Another argument for my grass-fed butter infatuation!
BREAKFAST: 7:45am Onion bagel with grass fed butter, pint of lime seltzer. Hunger 3/5. Felt good, good sleep on the new bed, though hunger did wake me up several times this morning - Rufus's hunger! He was meowing like he was James Brown. Ilsa has suggested trying flat water instead of so much carbonated water, I'm going to limit my seltzer intake on a trial basis, but it's an excellent breakfast treat. Now if they could carbonate bacon...
LUNCH: 1pm cajun seitan sandwich with kale, sauted onions on a whole wheat bun, a little vegan mayo (salty), a side of coleslaw, water. Hunger 3/5. Quiet at work, pedalled up through Central Park to Candle Cafe on the UES. Water they serve is only a little cooler than room temp, and many times before people have remarked on the yumminess of there water. I wonder if it's tap or filtered. Tasted OK to me. I was really happy with the sandwich, but upon thinking about my baser instincts, I probably would of chosen french fries instead of coleslaw, but the slaw was quite yummy.
PM SNACK: 2pm, 20oz tap water that was poured before I left for lunch. Not hungy but thirsty, rode hard to avoid rain. I see what Ilsa says about water having more flavor when its room temp, but not sure whether thats a plus or not. Don't mind it, though.
PM SNACK: 4:15pm, largish chocolate chip cookie icecream sandwich, 20 oz sill water, hunger 4/5. Craving sweets, and hadn't had an icecream sandwich in a while. "Toll House" brand, sold in the commisary in the lobby, everything about it screams industrial...but where does one go to get a handmade organic icecream sandwich when your craving it? 320mg of sodium, damn. Slight head ache before I decided to go get this.
DINNER: 6pm. medium green salad with italian dressing, pasta with basil pesto and grated cheese, glass of seltzer, a few small pieces of baking chocolate. hunger 2/5 - Not horrendously hungry after the icecream sandwich, but I was supposed to go to an early evening kareoke thing with coworkers and thought it unwise to go on anything other than a near-full stomach. Despite not being that hungry, the pasta was delicious, pesto from whole foods. I tried to make pesto once, it came out bitter and gross, I think I used too much basil and too little oil.
EVENING: 8pmish. 2 saporro drafts. To be social, didn't give me any buzz thanks to dinner, but did get me through a cringe-inducing renditon of "Into the Groove"
EVENING: Midnight. 7 frozen shrimp dumplings from a korean grocery. Hunger 3/5. Sleeping really well last 2 nights, but was slow winding down this evening, the alcohol probably didn't help. I have all those frozen dumplings from Koreatown, I sometimes crave them but after eating these dumpling, they ARE kinda gross and salty. And after reading about all the insanely underinspected food imports coming in from Asia, it adds to a layer of creepiness. Rather than use myself as a trash can, I think I'm going to clear some stuff out of the freezer this weekend.
Wednesday, July 18
Deny your God, Worship your Land
ADDENDA:
Met with Ilsa yesterday, a lot of food for thought (no pun, I swear). In the next two weeks, I hope to experiment with a few things. One, I gotta hit up some farmer's markets, whole foods or whatever and kind of graze and find some veg I haven't had before and take it home and, I dunno, slather it in that yummy butter or something. Secondly, I've never been one to subscribe to 'organic', but after reading the 'Real Food' book, there may be something to tradionally manufactured food - whole grass-fed milk instead of soy milk may be a fun experiment. Happy meat, happy diary, happy veg, happy fruit and grain - if environmentally sound food happens to taste better and make me feel better, I won't become an environmentalist but I will support it's cause. If I'm going to change my diet for the better, man or Land, it has to be ridiculously delicious.
Naming these entries by date is boring. A long time favorite muscian, Julian Cope, just put out a new record dripping in his usual anti-Religion, Druidistic rantings, but on the inside of the booklet is scrawled "DENY YOUR GOD, WORSHIP YOUR LAND". If denying God will get me nicely yellow delicious grass-fed butter, then there's something to the argument!
BREAKFAST: 7:30am, large bowl of kellogs cornflakes, unsweetened soy milk, hunger 3/5. Felt like having diner bacon and pancakes (I did get a Fresh Direct order yesterday with organic pancake mix and nitrate-free bacon which has sea-salt instead of salt as an ingredient) Looking forward to experimenting with non-salt non-corn syrup morning cereals. Waiting for the bed to come. No headache this morning, but as I sit here an hour after eating, it's there, very slightly. Gonna save the pancakes and bacon for when I have time and it's a treat, maybe before or aftering biking.
LUNCH: 12 noon, large green salad from home with dressing from the cafeteria, 2 sushi rolls from cafeteria, 20 oz of still water. Hunger 4/5
Used Balsamic dressing, seemed the least evil of the bunch but who knows whats in it. Should experiement with making my own dressings. Salad was good, sushi was ok, not that fresh, pretty standard. No dessert, but feel like I could tuck into a mess of chocolate chip cookies right now. Headache has returned about 45 minutes after eating, slow and dull. Ate early because I needed too, breakfast with no snacks is not enough to satisfy me to a more normal lunch hour.
PM SNACK: 1:30pm, packet of 3 fudge cookies, hunger 2/5.
Craved them. Sweetness, chocolate. Headache got stronger. After eating them, headache receded, though not completely. A blood sugar thing?
4:45pm, 25 cent handful of plain chocolate M&Ms. hunger 4.5/5. Just hungry, no headache. Going to Balthazar with B & her friend, wanted to save my appetite, but this is just uncomfortable. I guess if I had no discretion, would go out and get a slice of pizza or two. This should hold me till dinner, which I imagine will be big n' yummy.
DINNER: 6:30pm, medium rare bar steak with fries, small portions of lobster risotto, walnut herb ravioli, warm goat cheese tart, white and whole wheat bread n' butter, half a glass of champagne, a few glasses of water, about a 3rd of a warm chocolate cake, two chocolate madelines. hunger 4/5. Went to Balthazar with B and her friend Patty, who was visiting town on business from LA. A bit of a celebratory meal in honor of our impending nupitals, I conciously decided to not overthink what I was going to eat and go with what I was in the mood for. I tend not too eat steak too often, as it makes me feel crappy - I'm that concious of what I eat, at least. But I desired it. It tasted SO GOOD. No headache after. Slept excellently (on new bed, with new bride, he he) and though I worried the steak would catch up with me, had a good morning.
EVENING SNACK: a couple of glasses of still water
Met with Ilsa yesterday, a lot of food for thought (no pun, I swear). In the next two weeks, I hope to experiment with a few things. One, I gotta hit up some farmer's markets, whole foods or whatever and kind of graze and find some veg I haven't had before and take it home and, I dunno, slather it in that yummy butter or something. Secondly, I've never been one to subscribe to 'organic', but after reading the 'Real Food' book, there may be something to tradionally manufactured food - whole grass-fed milk instead of soy milk may be a fun experiment. Happy meat, happy diary, happy veg, happy fruit and grain - if environmentally sound food happens to taste better and make me feel better, I won't become an environmentalist but I will support it's cause. If I'm going to change my diet for the better, man or Land, it has to be ridiculously delicious.
Naming these entries by date is boring. A long time favorite muscian, Julian Cope, just put out a new record dripping in his usual anti-Religion, Druidistic rantings, but on the inside of the booklet is scrawled "DENY YOUR GOD, WORSHIP YOUR LAND". If denying God will get me nicely yellow delicious grass-fed butter, then there's something to the argument!
BREAKFAST: 7:30am, large bowl of kellogs cornflakes, unsweetened soy milk, hunger 3/5. Felt like having diner bacon and pancakes (I did get a Fresh Direct order yesterday with organic pancake mix and nitrate-free bacon which has sea-salt instead of salt as an ingredient) Looking forward to experimenting with non-salt non-corn syrup morning cereals. Waiting for the bed to come. No headache this morning, but as I sit here an hour after eating, it's there, very slightly. Gonna save the pancakes and bacon for when I have time and it's a treat, maybe before or aftering biking.
LUNCH: 12 noon, large green salad from home with dressing from the cafeteria, 2 sushi rolls from cafeteria, 20 oz of still water. Hunger 4/5
Used Balsamic dressing, seemed the least evil of the bunch but who knows whats in it. Should experiement with making my own dressings. Salad was good, sushi was ok, not that fresh, pretty standard. No dessert, but feel like I could tuck into a mess of chocolate chip cookies right now. Headache has returned about 45 minutes after eating, slow and dull. Ate early because I needed too, breakfast with no snacks is not enough to satisfy me to a more normal lunch hour.
PM SNACK: 1:30pm, packet of 3 fudge cookies, hunger 2/5.
Craved them. Sweetness, chocolate. Headache got stronger. After eating them, headache receded, though not completely. A blood sugar thing?
4:45pm, 25 cent handful of plain chocolate M&Ms. hunger 4.5/5. Just hungry, no headache. Going to Balthazar with B & her friend, wanted to save my appetite, but this is just uncomfortable. I guess if I had no discretion, would go out and get a slice of pizza or two. This should hold me till dinner, which I imagine will be big n' yummy.
DINNER: 6:30pm, medium rare bar steak with fries, small portions of lobster risotto, walnut herb ravioli, warm goat cheese tart, white and whole wheat bread n' butter, half a glass of champagne, a few glasses of water, about a 3rd of a warm chocolate cake, two chocolate madelines. hunger 4/5. Went to Balthazar with B and her friend Patty, who was visiting town on business from LA. A bit of a celebratory meal in honor of our impending nupitals, I conciously decided to not overthink what I was going to eat and go with what I was in the mood for. I tend not too eat steak too often, as it makes me feel crappy - I'm that concious of what I eat, at least. But I desired it. It tasted SO GOOD. No headache after. Slept excellently (on new bed, with new bride, he he) and though I worried the steak would catch up with me, had a good morning.
EVENING SNACK: a couple of glasses of still water
Tuesday, July 17
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
BREAKFAST: 8am, 3/4 of a toasted sesame bagel, slathered in the fancy organic butter, hunger 3/5.
This grass-fed yellowish butter definitely tastes more....buttery than the industrial white stuff. Had a hard time getting to sleep again last night, despite being tired. Things going well at work and at home, feel good.
AM SNACKS: 9:30am, ramakin of chocolate chocolate chip gelatto, hunger 3/5.
At home waiting for a new king-sized bed and matress to arrive, feeling idle, and Il Labratorio makes such intense stuff, just calling to me. Wouldn't of indulged if I was busy at work.
LUNCH: 1pm, falafel sandwich with babaganoush, diet 7up, hunger 3/5.
After waiting for a delivery of only the matress showed up, finally took off (bed now arriving tomorrow morning). Feeling frustrated, but happy not to be cooped up. Road bike to coop office to get another delivery pass, stopped in on Franks to check on mountain bike I got off a coworker that I'm having rebuilt, then stopped by 1st Ave and St. Marks to eat - it was lunch timeish, and it would be silly to go to work only to go out to lunch when I got there. Food decompressed me a little, a pause on a nice bike ride on a warm sunny afternoon. Too bad about the congestion pricing bill floundering, too much democracy in action...
LUNCH #2: 3:15pm, fried whiting sandwich on whole weat, let&tom, small squirt of italian dressing, hunger 3/5.
Despite being late, work flowing smoothly. Corporate caf closed, went to the vendor carts, decided to try something new. Corner of 47th and 6th, a cart said "FOOD IS LOVE" on it's side. The sandwich was $3.50, a plate was $5, so I got the sandwich....which had 3 large pieces of breaded fish on it! This small lunch was kinda large, but satisfying and I ate it all as I wandered slowly back to work. Headache coming on slow, dehydrated?
PM SNACKS: 4pm, 20 oz of seltzer out of the dispensery. Diet coke tempting, but I suspect it may give me a bigger headache right nw.
4:45pm. another 20oz of selter and a 25 cent handful of peanut M&Ms, not hungry but persistent minor headache and feeling munchy. Work is quiet. Is this blog going to turn me into one of those people who obsessively count their food? I had 10 m&ms, somehow counting them justified them as being truly a small amount. Now that I ate them, I feel full in a slightly sickly way. Bleah.
DINNER: 8:30pm, shrimp diavialo w linguini, half a small cheesless pizza, a couple pieces of bread, water, apple pie. Hunger 4/5. Dinner with Jill, after meeting with Ilsa. The original plan was to go to Shake Shack, but ended up at a less unhealthy Italian joint. Kinda wanted cheesy pizza but thought this a better comprimise, the wood-fired crust and the pleasantly uncloying sauce with a sprinkle of herbs was satisfying. There was gelatto on the menu for desert, but that seemed excessive. I tried a small spoonful of Jill's gelato, and I'm glad I skipped it, not nearly as good as Il Labratorio's! On the bike ride home, the low-grade headache came back.
NIGHT: Had a few glasses of water when I got home 10ish, was thirsty.
This grass-fed yellowish butter definitely tastes more....buttery than the industrial white stuff. Had a hard time getting to sleep again last night, despite being tired. Things going well at work and at home, feel good.
AM SNACKS: 9:30am, ramakin of chocolate chocolate chip gelatto, hunger 3/5.
At home waiting for a new king-sized bed and matress to arrive, feeling idle, and Il Labratorio makes such intense stuff, just calling to me. Wouldn't of indulged if I was busy at work.
LUNCH: 1pm, falafel sandwich with babaganoush, diet 7up, hunger 3/5.
After waiting for a delivery of only the matress showed up, finally took off (bed now arriving tomorrow morning). Feeling frustrated, but happy not to be cooped up. Road bike to coop office to get another delivery pass, stopped in on Franks to check on mountain bike I got off a coworker that I'm having rebuilt, then stopped by 1st Ave and St. Marks to eat - it was lunch timeish, and it would be silly to go to work only to go out to lunch when I got there. Food decompressed me a little, a pause on a nice bike ride on a warm sunny afternoon. Too bad about the congestion pricing bill floundering, too much democracy in action...
LUNCH #2: 3:15pm, fried whiting sandwich on whole weat, let&tom, small squirt of italian dressing, hunger 3/5.
Despite being late, work flowing smoothly. Corporate caf closed, went to the vendor carts, decided to try something new. Corner of 47th and 6th, a cart said "FOOD IS LOVE" on it's side. The sandwich was $3.50, a plate was $5, so I got the sandwich....which had 3 large pieces of breaded fish on it! This small lunch was kinda large, but satisfying and I ate it all as I wandered slowly back to work. Headache coming on slow, dehydrated?
PM SNACKS: 4pm, 20 oz of seltzer out of the dispensery. Diet coke tempting, but I suspect it may give me a bigger headache right nw.
4:45pm. another 20oz of selter and a 25 cent handful of peanut M&Ms, not hungry but persistent minor headache and feeling munchy. Work is quiet. Is this blog going to turn me into one of those people who obsessively count their food? I had 10 m&ms, somehow counting them justified them as being truly a small amount. Now that I ate them, I feel full in a slightly sickly way. Bleah.
DINNER: 8:30pm, shrimp diavialo w linguini, half a small cheesless pizza, a couple pieces of bread, water, apple pie. Hunger 4/5. Dinner with Jill, after meeting with Ilsa. The original plan was to go to Shake Shack, but ended up at a less unhealthy Italian joint. Kinda wanted cheesy pizza but thought this a better comprimise, the wood-fired crust and the pleasantly uncloying sauce with a sprinkle of herbs was satisfying. There was gelatto on the menu for desert, but that seemed excessive. I tried a small spoonful of Jill's gelato, and I'm glad I skipped it, not nearly as good as Il Labratorio's! On the bike ride home, the low-grade headache came back.
NIGHT: Had a few glasses of water when I got home 10ish, was thirsty.
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