piADDENDA:
Planned to ride today, but after hitting up the Union Square market at 8am, realized I needed to chill and take care of chores at home. Made a big salad, and an apple crumble for the first time.
BREAKFAST: 6:45am, 3 large pancakes, 5 pieces low-sodium bacon, dirtpill, hunger 4/5
AM SNACK: 11am, whole foods cookie, hunger 4/5
LUNCH: 2pm, large fresh salad, 2 slices local pizza, hunger 4/5
Walked across the street and brought home 2 slices from my local. In my mom's lasts days, she and her sister ordered a pizza from this place a few times. I'd come over and eat up 5 slices.,, what they'd have Left. Not very good pizza, but it's the pizza of my mother.
PM SNACK: 4pm, large piece home made apple crumble, hunger 3/5
Craving sweets again! I made this today, from fresh apples from this morning's farmer's market and all organic ingredients, simple to make. Betsy sent me the recipe before she split this weekend to see her dad, I thought I make it for her to surprise her. I meant only to have a little piece, but I was shocked by how good it was, a whole 'nuther piece jumped up and lept down my throat!
DINNER: 8pm, lots of brerad, mozzeralla caprese salad, rigatoni with fresh tomato and cheese, one half glass of wine, one half of an over-sized gin&tonic., hunger 3/5
Went up to Westchester to celebrate an old friend's birthday. Restaurant was kind of awful, but didn't say anything as didn't want to be the snotty city guy amongst the local down-staters...
Wen to a bar right after, by a train station. I ordered a G&T to be sociable, and the damn thing came filled to the top in a 16oz cup! WTF?
Saturday, September 29
Friday, September 28
In Jail, Waiting for My Parents
ADDENDA:
Got to sleep early, Betsy-style, last night again and again had some weird dreams. I was with my dad, he was in his later years, we were out shopping at the greenmarket, we were arm in arm as he needed me for balance (he hated using a cane, I was happy to be one for him.) This had happened before, though I wasn't very conscious of the greenmarket, I just thought it was my dad being a "cheapo", as my mom would say. In my dream, I asked my dad where my mom was. In real life, it was very common for me and my dad to go out together alone, because my mom was still working full time, and while she enjoyed it, when she was home she just wanted to vegetate.
Well, I asked my dad where my mom was and he said, "In jail." My mom never had anything to do with the criminal life, and I was quite upset. He didn't tell me why, but the next thing I know I'm on a long trip to a maximum security prison somewhere far away.
Had to go through several layers of security, wait in a crowded room with 100s of other folks, mostly poor and minorities. To pass the time, I started reading the New Yorker, which tends to have extremely long and involved articles. I look up, a lot of time had passed, and the waiting room was empty. I go to the front and tell the guard I'd like to see my mom now. She replies that visitors are only allowed once an hour on the half hour, and the time now was 5 o'clock, so I'd have to wait longer.
And that's all I remember. I guess I always felt the likelihood of my mom ever dying was about equal to her going to prison - just about nil. Part of me doesn't believe she's dead, just unexplainably missing, and I'm just waiting for her to come back to me.
When I was walking cross town yesterday looking for something different for lunch, passed a Brazilian steakhouse. I remember my dad raving about the tons of meat they serve you in a place like that - some of his chemistry professor buddies took him there, he went back with mom. I never went to that kind of restaurant - for the last 4-5 years of my dad's life, I was mostly non-dairy vegetarian (it was his illness that drove me to the comfort of bacon).
Why was I vegetarian for so long? (I'd say vegan, but that would confuse me with people who abstain from ALL animal products for ethical reasons, I just didn't eat it) I would have to say it was to feel the control over my own diet that I didn't have growing up. It was a clear directive - NO animal product in any form - it simplified the choices available. For me, didn't make it healthier or tastier - potato chips are vegan, and vegan pancakes taste like cardboard - though in intervening years I've experienced much better vegan dining (thanks T!)
Even before and after my flings without animal products, I ate a lot of sugar-free fat-free fakey foods. Diet coke, sugar-free Italian ices, skim milk, margarine (actually, that has all the fat and none of the flavor, WTF?), a general fear of whole animal food - cook it? Eat it? YIKES! I'm moving away from that fear. Yeah, the food supply is fucked by capitalism, red meat full of hormones and grains unnatural to the animal - but other peeps are catching up, and better tasting, healthier stuff IS here in NYC, I just gotta go get it. In terms of control, that fear controls ME. I would rather control that fear, and widen the variety of health-giving foods in my day-to-day routine. But I babble.
More super-hippy lunches. Less corporate sub shop lunches...
BREAKFAST: 6:30am, conventional cornflakes with good milk, hunger 3/5
BREAKFAST #2: 9am, toasted onion bagel with conventional hummus, hunger 4/5
Betsy woke up early because she's going away to see her dad this weekend. After my dream, I kinda didn't want to go back to sleep. Got a lot of chores done, but they left me hungry before work.
AM SNACK: 10am, 24 oz still water
BP 11:45am: 121/88
Researching more accurate blood pressure monitoring. All seem to agree an arm cuff is more accuraqte than the wrist cuff I've been using...but this is also interesting (from the Mayo Clinic's site):
Not too hungry but Erikka was. This was so damn good. This Japanese noodle place has a line infront of it every day, mostly with Japanese people, and it's easy to taste why.
PM SNACK: 3pm, two apple danishes, hunger 3/5
OK, today is a weird eating day, hands down. Craved sugar, went downstairs hoping to get something healthy-ish. Chocolate stuff looked too intense, ordered an apple Danish. Being it's Friday, they're looking to unload stock and gave me two. Thinking, urg, I'll give one away. Ate the first one....surprisingly not very sweet, in a good way. Then the second one stood up, attacked my face and jumped down my throat....
Feeling very full but not sick, or sugar-jumpy....yet.
ADDENDA: It's 4pm, and I got a headache! Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me...
PM SNACK: 6:45pm, half a soapy beer
DINNER: 8pm, seitan satay, samosa, vegan jap chae, water, 1 cookie, hunger 2/5
From the danish binge to the beer, wasn't hungry, but it was Friday night out with T, so the food was more entertainment than nourishment. Wild Ginger was surprisingly good, if the Jap Chae was too spicey. Wandered to Wholefoods for dessert. I bought 2 cookies, while T bought 1...after eating one, it occurred to me why did I buy 2? One cookie always seemed like too little....but it was more than enough.
Got to sleep early, Betsy-style, last night again and again had some weird dreams. I was with my dad, he was in his later years, we were out shopping at the greenmarket, we were arm in arm as he needed me for balance (he hated using a cane, I was happy to be one for him.) This had happened before, though I wasn't very conscious of the greenmarket, I just thought it was my dad being a "cheapo", as my mom would say. In my dream, I asked my dad where my mom was. In real life, it was very common for me and my dad to go out together alone, because my mom was still working full time, and while she enjoyed it, when she was home she just wanted to vegetate.
Well, I asked my dad where my mom was and he said, "In jail." My mom never had anything to do with the criminal life, and I was quite upset. He didn't tell me why, but the next thing I know I'm on a long trip to a maximum security prison somewhere far away.
Had to go through several layers of security, wait in a crowded room with 100s of other folks, mostly poor and minorities. To pass the time, I started reading the New Yorker, which tends to have extremely long and involved articles. I look up, a lot of time had passed, and the waiting room was empty. I go to the front and tell the guard I'd like to see my mom now. She replies that visitors are only allowed once an hour on the half hour, and the time now was 5 o'clock, so I'd have to wait longer.
And that's all I remember. I guess I always felt the likelihood of my mom ever dying was about equal to her going to prison - just about nil. Part of me doesn't believe she's dead, just unexplainably missing, and I'm just waiting for her to come back to me.
When I was walking cross town yesterday looking for something different for lunch, passed a Brazilian steakhouse. I remember my dad raving about the tons of meat they serve you in a place like that - some of his chemistry professor buddies took him there, he went back with mom. I never went to that kind of restaurant - for the last 4-5 years of my dad's life, I was mostly non-dairy vegetarian (it was his illness that drove me to the comfort of bacon).
Why was I vegetarian for so long? (I'd say vegan, but that would confuse me with people who abstain from ALL animal products for ethical reasons, I just didn't eat it) I would have to say it was to feel the control over my own diet that I didn't have growing up. It was a clear directive - NO animal product in any form - it simplified the choices available. For me, didn't make it healthier or tastier - potato chips are vegan, and vegan pancakes taste like cardboard - though in intervening years I've experienced much better vegan dining (thanks T!)
Even before and after my flings without animal products, I ate a lot of sugar-free fat-free fakey foods. Diet coke, sugar-free Italian ices, skim milk, margarine (actually, that has all the fat and none of the flavor, WTF?), a general fear of whole animal food - cook it? Eat it? YIKES! I'm moving away from that fear. Yeah, the food supply is fucked by capitalism, red meat full of hormones and grains unnatural to the animal - but other peeps are catching up, and better tasting, healthier stuff IS here in NYC, I just gotta go get it. In terms of control, that fear controls ME. I would rather control that fear, and widen the variety of health-giving foods in my day-to-day routine. But I babble.
More super-hippy lunches. Less corporate sub shop lunches...
BREAKFAST: 6:30am, conventional cornflakes with good milk, hunger 3/5
BREAKFAST #2: 9am, toasted onion bagel with conventional hummus, hunger 4/5
Betsy woke up early because she's going away to see her dad this weekend. After my dream, I kinda didn't want to go back to sleep. Got a lot of chores done, but they left me hungry before work.
AM SNACK: 10am, 24 oz still water
BP 11:45am: 121/88
Researching more accurate blood pressure monitoring. All seem to agree an arm cuff is more accuraqte than the wrist cuff I've been using...but this is also interesting (from the Mayo Clinic's site):
Your blood pressure at home is usually slightly lower than it is in a medical office, typically by a measurement of about five points. For instance, a reading at home of 135/85 millimeters of mercury (mm Hg) is about the same as 140/90 mm Hg at the doctor's office.LUNCH: 12:45pm, pork tonkatsu with curry and rice, miso soup, hunger 3/5
Not too hungry but Erikka was. This was so damn good. This Japanese noodle place has a line infront of it every day, mostly with Japanese people, and it's easy to taste why.
PM SNACK: 3pm, two apple danishes, hunger 3/5
OK, today is a weird eating day, hands down. Craved sugar, went downstairs hoping to get something healthy-ish. Chocolate stuff looked too intense, ordered an apple Danish. Being it's Friday, they're looking to unload stock and gave me two. Thinking, urg, I'll give one away. Ate the first one....surprisingly not very sweet, in a good way. Then the second one stood up, attacked my face and jumped down my throat....
Feeling very full but not sick, or sugar-jumpy....yet.
ADDENDA: It's 4pm, and I got a headache! Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me...
PM SNACK: 6:45pm, half a soapy beer
DINNER: 8pm, seitan satay, samosa, vegan jap chae, water, 1 cookie, hunger 2/5
From the danish binge to the beer, wasn't hungry, but it was Friday night out with T, so the food was more entertainment than nourishment. Wild Ginger was surprisingly good, if the Jap Chae was too spicey. Wandered to Wholefoods for dessert. I bought 2 cookies, while T bought 1...after eating one, it occurred to me why did I buy 2? One cookie always seemed like too little....but it was more than enough.
Thursday, September 27
Check
ADDENDA:
Had a meeting with Ilsa last night and with my MD this morning. Funny, a whole lot of medicalization and concern for a person who isn't sick. This morning, my blood pressure was measured at 134/86, a disappointingly high number. A few minutes later, my blood pressure cuff told me 126/84. I think I need to invest in a monitoring device whose main feature is accuracy, not convenience. Also took a blood sample, if my LDL cholesterol is any different than last time (slightly elevated), I'll be getting a call on Tuesday.
My MD's advice was simple on the face of it: eat less salt and lose weight. He stressed that for naturally elevated blood pressure, outside of drugs, it's weight loss that'll have the most meaningful effect for a pudgy dude like me.
Meeting with Ilsa went well, helping me refocus on goals and what I'm doing. What AM I doing? This whole blog thing is a bit of whipping post for myself to stay focused and disciplined. I am tempted to eat that extra desert or wolf down that plate of fries, a little voice saying oh just one time, it's no big deal, but my fingers say, "HA! Do that and you must confess your sins to the internets!!" It's a method of control. Ilsa thinks I wouldn't suffer from easing up a bit, maybe I'm better off and knowledgeable than I think. Like with the MD, easier said than done. The more I learn, the more I feel that there's even more I don't know! I'm the smartest dummy in the room!
More specifically, starting next week I'm going to push the envelope a bit more and try to pack lunch 3 times a week or so. That'll probably eliminate a large part of the salt and conventional food in my regular diet. And again Ilsa focused on my parents - I find it hard to talk about them without getting melancholy, I just miss them so much. More I think about it, the more I realize some of my bad eating habits were unintentionally (and sometimes intentionally!) set up by them. I'm sure my mom would of loved to argue with me that everything she did was perfect and that I'm crazy. But she'd say it in a semi-funny way, leaving the door open to suggestion. Forceful, but flexible. Probably that's why she was such an excellent executive for most of her career.
Finally, I think I just might go ahead and buy a locking mini-freezer. I could use the extra space to keep extra cold to deep-store home made stuff like spag sauce and hummus. But mainly, I can keep the gelato out of B's hands! I think it's a bit weird and controlling, but Ilsa sees the flipside, me helping B out.
BREAKFAST: 7:30am, yogurt with peanuts and a little honey, hunger 4/5
AM SNACK: 9:30am, 24 oz flat water
LUNCH #1: 1pm, 6" turkey/swiss on whole wheat from Subway, hunger 4/5
Walked across town to look at clothes, wanted to eat something different, but so many long lines. Hadn't had subway in a long time. Looking at the ads, the 'healthy meal' combo involved diet coke and tasteless baked chips, yuuuuk. Used to like this food, now the turkey tasted almost unpleasantly salty.
It also occured to me that duuuh, I can make a kick-ass tasty sandwich at home and bring it to work. Superhippy bread, pesto-marinated thin-sliced tofu, mmmmm.....
LUNCH #2: 3pm, 2 potato samosa, sweet potato noodles, ginger tofu, hunger 4/5
On Tamar and Ilsa's recommendation, I took the effort to check out Green Symphony on 43rd off 7th, snuggled next to the old NY Times building. I heard an interesting interview with an economist who said he allowed economic theory to help him eat better. Restaurants on main drags with higher rents depend on volume, while those on side streets depend on the quality of their food and experience to create repeat customers. Well, Green Symphony is clearly the later.
It's a very small health-food shop near the heart of Times Square, clearly there for the people who work there and need an alternative to the McDonalds and Ben & Jerry's that is just a few doors away on 7th. I trawled through the hot and cold food bars, impressed at the number of organic dishes. Too much chicken - I'd much rather eat organic beef or pork than chicken. Too much fear of the red and other-white meat! Still, this carb-heavy snack was satisfying, and look forward to trying some of the more vegetable-oriented stuff on the two bars...
PM SNACK: 5:15pm, 4 oz of Sprite from the dispenser, hunger 3/5
Walking by the office kitchenette, a sprig of curiosity -will I still like soda? Not the fake diet stuff, but full sugar. Took a big swig of sprite...tasted a little like acidy lysol, lemony fresh. Burning acidy aftertaste all the way down my gullet, 5 minutes later could still feel it in my stomach. Overpoweringly cloying and sweet. Wow. Nasty.
PM SNACK: 6:30pm, 1 chocolate chip cookie, hunger 4/5
They were giving away freebies at Wholefoods! I was hungry! It jumped down my throat!
DINNER: 8pm, smoked scallops in a butter/wine/green onion sauce over whole wheat pasta, a large portion of cinnamon gelato, 1 glass white wine, water
An experimental meal, came out nice, but not restaurant-ready. I was originally thinking scallops and bacon, but these looked interesting. Unfortunately, I should of remembered B doesn't like smoked fish, and scallop and bacon does not equal a smoked scallop in her book. Oh well, live and learn, I will please my overly-complimentary wife yet!! (She will yell and moan that is was great, because she's a sweety, but bottom line is I goofed!)
I froze two meal-sized portions of the pasta, for lunches the next few weeks....
Had a meeting with Ilsa last night and with my MD this morning. Funny, a whole lot of medicalization and concern for a person who isn't sick. This morning, my blood pressure was measured at 134/86, a disappointingly high number. A few minutes later, my blood pressure cuff told me 126/84. I think I need to invest in a monitoring device whose main feature is accuracy, not convenience. Also took a blood sample, if my LDL cholesterol is any different than last time (slightly elevated), I'll be getting a call on Tuesday.
My MD's advice was simple on the face of it: eat less salt and lose weight. He stressed that for naturally elevated blood pressure, outside of drugs, it's weight loss that'll have the most meaningful effect for a pudgy dude like me.
Meeting with Ilsa went well, helping me refocus on goals and what I'm doing. What AM I doing? This whole blog thing is a bit of whipping post for myself to stay focused and disciplined. I am tempted to eat that extra desert or wolf down that plate of fries, a little voice saying oh just one time, it's no big deal, but my fingers say, "HA! Do that and you must confess your sins to the internets!!" It's a method of control. Ilsa thinks I wouldn't suffer from easing up a bit, maybe I'm better off and knowledgeable than I think. Like with the MD, easier said than done. The more I learn, the more I feel that there's even more I don't know! I'm the smartest dummy in the room!
More specifically, starting next week I'm going to push the envelope a bit more and try to pack lunch 3 times a week or so. That'll probably eliminate a large part of the salt and conventional food in my regular diet. And again Ilsa focused on my parents - I find it hard to talk about them without getting melancholy, I just miss them so much. More I think about it, the more I realize some of my bad eating habits were unintentionally (and sometimes intentionally!) set up by them. I'm sure my mom would of loved to argue with me that everything she did was perfect and that I'm crazy. But she'd say it in a semi-funny way, leaving the door open to suggestion. Forceful, but flexible. Probably that's why she was such an excellent executive for most of her career.
Finally, I think I just might go ahead and buy a locking mini-freezer. I could use the extra space to keep extra cold to deep-store home made stuff like spag sauce and hummus. But mainly, I can keep the gelato out of B's hands! I think it's a bit weird and controlling, but Ilsa sees the flipside, me helping B out.
BREAKFAST: 7:30am, yogurt with peanuts and a little honey, hunger 4/5
AM SNACK: 9:30am, 24 oz flat water
LUNCH #1: 1pm, 6" turkey/swiss on whole wheat from Subway, hunger 4/5
Walked across town to look at clothes, wanted to eat something different, but so many long lines. Hadn't had subway in a long time. Looking at the ads, the 'healthy meal' combo involved diet coke and tasteless baked chips, yuuuuk. Used to like this food, now the turkey tasted almost unpleasantly salty.
It also occured to me that duuuh, I can make a kick-ass tasty sandwich at home and bring it to work. Superhippy bread, pesto-marinated thin-sliced tofu, mmmmm.....
LUNCH #2: 3pm, 2 potato samosa, sweet potato noodles, ginger tofu, hunger 4/5
On Tamar and Ilsa's recommendation, I took the effort to check out Green Symphony on 43rd off 7th, snuggled next to the old NY Times building. I heard an interesting interview with an economist who said he allowed economic theory to help him eat better. Restaurants on main drags with higher rents depend on volume, while those on side streets depend on the quality of their food and experience to create repeat customers. Well, Green Symphony is clearly the later.
It's a very small health-food shop near the heart of Times Square, clearly there for the people who work there and need an alternative to the McDonalds and Ben & Jerry's that is just a few doors away on 7th. I trawled through the hot and cold food bars, impressed at the number of organic dishes. Too much chicken - I'd much rather eat organic beef or pork than chicken. Too much fear of the red and other-white meat! Still, this carb-heavy snack was satisfying, and look forward to trying some of the more vegetable-oriented stuff on the two bars...
PM SNACK: 5:15pm, 4 oz of Sprite from the dispenser, hunger 3/5
Walking by the office kitchenette, a sprig of curiosity -will I still like soda? Not the fake diet stuff, but full sugar. Took a big swig of sprite...tasted a little like acidy lysol, lemony fresh. Burning acidy aftertaste all the way down my gullet, 5 minutes later could still feel it in my stomach. Overpoweringly cloying and sweet. Wow. Nasty.
PM SNACK: 6:30pm, 1 chocolate chip cookie, hunger 4/5
They were giving away freebies at Wholefoods! I was hungry! It jumped down my throat!
DINNER: 8pm, smoked scallops in a butter/wine/green onion sauce over whole wheat pasta, a large portion of cinnamon gelato, 1 glass white wine, water
An experimental meal, came out nice, but not restaurant-ready. I was originally thinking scallops and bacon, but these looked interesting. Unfortunately, I should of remembered B doesn't like smoked fish, and scallop and bacon does not equal a smoked scallop in her book. Oh well, live and learn, I will please my overly-complimentary wife yet!! (She will yell and moan that is was great, because she's a sweety, but bottom line is I goofed!)
I froze two meal-sized portions of the pasta, for lunches the next few weeks....
Wednesday, September 26
Dreams
ADDENDA:
Slept really well last night, 9 hours. Ate a whole container of cookies last night, about 9 cookies. Looking at it, I thought it was maybe 2 servings. Looking at the label....EACH cookie was one serving! WTF!
Crazy dreams, don't know how to put it. Rather than the dream being Noah-centric, I was like a disemobodied camera following around this female black office worker (kinda like how Woody Allen has people act in his stead) working in the pre-9/11 World Trade Center. Even though it hasn't happened yet, she 'remembers' the disaster and bolts for the stairwell. Most of the dream was just her running down flight after flight of stairs, pondering whether she should pause and question her sanity...
I suspect this is work related somehow....but could be food/weight related too....
BREAKFAST: 8am, decadent oatmeal, hunger 4/5
Half whole milk, half water, small pat of good butter, cinamon, vanilla, I forgot sweetner! And I could tell the difference - that half teaspoon of sugar doesn't make it sweet, but it makes the oatmeal just taste.....rounder, fuller.
AM SNACK: 9:30am, 24 oz still water
LUNCH #1: 12:30pm, potatoes a la noah, organic celery and carrot sticks, hummus, hunger 4/5
Potatoes better as cold leftovers. Brought 'em to work in the borg-box.
BP 1pm, 124/79
PM SNACK: 1:45pm, large M&M cookie, hunger 3/5
Had serious cravings for sugar, haven't had a craving like that in a while. Maybe related to lack of protein in lunch? Something to do with what potatoes do to me?
PM SNACK: 5pm, bag of Robert's Smart Puffs, hunger 4/5
Too late for lunch #2, as dinner is a few hours away, but don't want to be hungry for my appointment with Ilsa, or I might start fantasizing outloud to her about what I wanna eat....right....NOW! He he.
DINNER: 7:30pm, fried catfish poboy with a little slaw and rice, vesuvius cake, water, hunger 4/5
Was hoping to eat unhealthy after seeing Ilsa, only really succeeded in an extra sweet today. Me n' Yana went to Chat n' Chew on 16th Street, the fish sandwich was alright, but it came with fries, so I requested rice and beans....which was just yellow rice with a side of bland vegetable chili. Too salty. The cake, which was supposed to be 3 kinds of chocolate and cheese cake was kinda lame, most of the chocolate was a mousse and the cakey and cheesey bits tasted kinda fakey.
Slept really well last night, 9 hours. Ate a whole container of cookies last night, about 9 cookies. Looking at it, I thought it was maybe 2 servings. Looking at the label....EACH cookie was one serving! WTF!
Crazy dreams, don't know how to put it. Rather than the dream being Noah-centric, I was like a disemobodied camera following around this female black office worker (kinda like how Woody Allen has people act in his stead) working in the pre-9/11 World Trade Center. Even though it hasn't happened yet, she 'remembers' the disaster and bolts for the stairwell. Most of the dream was just her running down flight after flight of stairs, pondering whether she should pause and question her sanity...
I suspect this is work related somehow....but could be food/weight related too....
BREAKFAST: 8am, decadent oatmeal, hunger 4/5
Half whole milk, half water, small pat of good butter, cinamon, vanilla, I forgot sweetner! And I could tell the difference - that half teaspoon of sugar doesn't make it sweet, but it makes the oatmeal just taste.....rounder, fuller.
AM SNACK: 9:30am, 24 oz still water
LUNCH #1: 12:30pm, potatoes a la noah, organic celery and carrot sticks, hummus, hunger 4/5
Potatoes better as cold leftovers. Brought 'em to work in the borg-box.
BP 1pm, 124/79
PM SNACK: 1:45pm, large M&M cookie, hunger 3/5
Had serious cravings for sugar, haven't had a craving like that in a while. Maybe related to lack of protein in lunch? Something to do with what potatoes do to me?
PM SNACK: 5pm, bag of Robert's Smart Puffs, hunger 4/5
Too late for lunch #2, as dinner is a few hours away, but don't want to be hungry for my appointment with Ilsa, or I might start fantasizing outloud to her about what I wanna eat....right....NOW! He he.
DINNER: 7:30pm, fried catfish poboy with a little slaw and rice, vesuvius cake, water, hunger 4/5
Was hoping to eat unhealthy after seeing Ilsa, only really succeeded in an extra sweet today. Me n' Yana went to Chat n' Chew on 16th Street, the fish sandwich was alright, but it came with fries, so I requested rice and beans....which was just yellow rice with a side of bland vegetable chili. Too salty. The cake, which was supposed to be 3 kinds of chocolate and cheese cake was kinda lame, most of the chocolate was a mousse and the cakey and cheesey bits tasted kinda fakey.
Tuesday, September 25
Couch Potato - Potato = Miracle Diet!
ADDENDA:
Read an interesting article about how not only does exercising not promote weight loss, but that the idea that it should is a recent phenomenon. It tells me what I already know - if I ride my ass off all day, yes, I burn maybe 4x more calories than I do in a normal day, but I also find myself in a food frenzy where I eat at least 4x more. The article insinuates that if you sit around and do nothing, it's a lot easier to eat less calories than you expend.
So I guess couch potatoism minus the potato chips may be the diet craze of the future!
BREAKFAST: 8am, superhippy bread with wholefoods-branded hummus, dirtpill, hunger 2/5
Not particularly hungry after last night's late-night yogurt explosion, but figured it would be bad not to eat. The superhippy bread really is worth the $9 for the half loaf - it has a pleasing density, lots of different cracked seeds and grains give it an interesting texture, a faintly sour-dough flavor keeps it spritely without being salty.
BP 9:30am, 130/84
AM SNACK: 9:30am, 24 oz still water
LUNCH #1: 11:45am, 2 slices sesame pork w/ "lo mein", hunger 4/5
The corporate caf just reopened, and like with lipstick on a pig, it's the same old same old (crappy food, surly service) with a new look. Such crap food, and such small portions!
LUNCH #2: 4:15pm, falafel pita from the lamb guy, hunger 4.5/5
Back to back meetings til 4, felt faint. Last meeting I was day dreaming about wholefoods, what I'm going to make myself for dinner, as Betsy is otherwise engaged this evening....SHRIMP! If I liked berries, I'd make a shrimp n' berries dish, he he.
DINNER: 8pm, green salad, 1 lb of wild caught shrimp a la Noah, roasted organic red jacket potatoes also a la Noah, 8 oz of chocolate butter cookies, seltzer, hunger 4/5
When I say "a la Noah", it means I made it up as I went along because I didn't have the pressure of having to please another person. Shrimp was great, satisfying that I chose it from an array of 4 different kinds (this one looked the freshest), took a solid 20 minutes to peel and devein all of them. Potatoes came out surprisingly well, but I wonder how healthy potatoes are in general...
Read an interesting article about how not only does exercising not promote weight loss, but that the idea that it should is a recent phenomenon. It tells me what I already know - if I ride my ass off all day, yes, I burn maybe 4x more calories than I do in a normal day, but I also find myself in a food frenzy where I eat at least 4x more. The article insinuates that if you sit around and do nothing, it's a lot easier to eat less calories than you expend.
So I guess couch potatoism minus the potato chips may be the diet craze of the future!
BREAKFAST: 8am, superhippy bread with wholefoods-branded hummus, dirtpill, hunger 2/5
Not particularly hungry after last night's late-night yogurt explosion, but figured it would be bad not to eat. The superhippy bread really is worth the $9 for the half loaf - it has a pleasing density, lots of different cracked seeds and grains give it an interesting texture, a faintly sour-dough flavor keeps it spritely without being salty.
BP 9:30am, 130/84
AM SNACK: 9:30am, 24 oz still water
LUNCH #1: 11:45am, 2 slices sesame pork w/ "lo mein", hunger 4/5
The corporate caf just reopened, and like with lipstick on a pig, it's the same old same old (crappy food, surly service) with a new look. Such crap food, and such small portions!
LUNCH #2: 4:15pm, falafel pita from the lamb guy, hunger 4.5/5
Back to back meetings til 4, felt faint. Last meeting I was day dreaming about wholefoods, what I'm going to make myself for dinner, as Betsy is otherwise engaged this evening....SHRIMP! If I liked berries, I'd make a shrimp n' berries dish, he he.
DINNER: 8pm, green salad, 1 lb of wild caught shrimp a la Noah, roasted organic red jacket potatoes also a la Noah, 8 oz of chocolate butter cookies, seltzer, hunger 4/5
When I say "a la Noah", it means I made it up as I went along because I didn't have the pressure of having to please another person. Shrimp was great, satisfying that I chose it from an array of 4 different kinds (this one looked the freshest), took a solid 20 minutes to peel and devein all of them. Potatoes came out surprisingly well, but I wonder how healthy potatoes are in general...
Monday, September 24
Anxiety
ADDENDA:
After my shower, Betsy suggested I step on the scale. She's been complimenting me left and right all weekend about how good I look. Me, I feel good, but haven't noticed any changes in my body. Stepped on the scale, 230, pretty much the same as it's been for the past 10 years.
Turned on the TV, it was a paid infomercial on the Food Channel. Chunky woman blubbering how when she got on a rollercoaster with her kid, she was too fat for the bar to come down over her big belly. But with this program, she never had to go the gym and she never had to starve blah blah blah.
Felt anxious. I want to lose weight, but I'm comfortable in my skin and how my body works. I fit in the rollercoaster! But I also want to be healthy, and losing weight will help control blood pressure, if not now then in the future. I don't want to be in this crazy vain body-conscious circus, but I want to feel like I can be free of worry.
I was a chubby kid. My mom gave me a hard (but loving) time about it, and I went through a couple of phases in life where I lost a lot of weight, felt good about it, but eventually my body adjusted to the lowered calories, I got discouraged, and fell into old habits within a year or so. I know I can lose a good 20lbs and keep it off for 9-12 months, but then what?
BREAKFAST: 7:45am, toasted whole wheat bagel with good butter and fancy smoked salmon, dirtpill, hunger 3/5
Got this overpriced Charlie Trotter-branded citrus-flavored salmon, cured with sea salt instead of the usual. As I was eating it, found I didn't like it that much and thought if I'm going to experiment with foods to expand my palate, it SHOULD be friggin' low salt! Just don't want to get bored....
BP 8:15am 126/85
AM SNACK: 9:15am, 24 oz still water
LUNCH #1: Noon, 2 small cool slices of crappy pizza, hunger 4/5
Meetins 11am-3pm straight, though a middle meeting provided pizza. Not very good, but got me through without falling apart.
LUNCH #2: 3:15p, fried whiting on whole wheat, 4 unadorned falafel balls, hunger 3/5
Weird, wasn't too hungry but once I ate the sandwich, got very hungry and got the balls. Got them as an appetizer rather than a sandwich, could taste it alone. Surprisingly salty.
On the first Tenacious D album, there is a skit where the two guys go to a drive in window of a generic fast food place. The gag is that while Jack Black is ordering almost the entire menu, at the same time he is ranting that he is on a diet - ordering stuff like a large cola - half regular and half diet, 3 small orders of fries because their small and not large. And of course, the fillet-of-fish sandwich, because, as he exclaims, "Because it's FISH! It's healthy!".
The whiting sandwich was yummy, but between the grease, the breading, the questionable origins of the fish and the nutrient-light tomato and lettuce, the term 'healthy' would be stretching it...
PM SNACK: 5pm, 24 oz still water
DINNER: 7:30pm, spinach gnocchi with homemade tomato sauce and grated cheese, big green salad, big square of dark chocolate with peanut butter, a little seltzer
EVENING SNACK: 11:30pm, full portion of yogurt with peanuts, honey and drop of vanilla extract, hunger 4/5
When I realized how hungry I was, I knew I did not eat enough for dinner. In the past at this point I would start binging, starting with the sweets, with the idea that sugar would kill be hunger, but it wouldn't do it fast enough so I'd continue to eat.
I knew I'd have to blog about my sins, so I just ate a (reeeeally) early breakfast, and 2 minutes after I wanted more, but 10 minutes later I started to feel contented and sleepy. Hmmm.
After my shower, Betsy suggested I step on the scale. She's been complimenting me left and right all weekend about how good I look. Me, I feel good, but haven't noticed any changes in my body. Stepped on the scale, 230, pretty much the same as it's been for the past 10 years.
Turned on the TV, it was a paid infomercial on the Food Channel. Chunky woman blubbering how when she got on a rollercoaster with her kid, she was too fat for the bar to come down over her big belly. But with this program, she never had to go the gym and she never had to starve blah blah blah.
Felt anxious. I want to lose weight, but I'm comfortable in my skin and how my body works. I fit in the rollercoaster! But I also want to be healthy, and losing weight will help control blood pressure, if not now then in the future. I don't want to be in this crazy vain body-conscious circus, but I want to feel like I can be free of worry.
I was a chubby kid. My mom gave me a hard (but loving) time about it, and I went through a couple of phases in life where I lost a lot of weight, felt good about it, but eventually my body adjusted to the lowered calories, I got discouraged, and fell into old habits within a year or so. I know I can lose a good 20lbs and keep it off for 9-12 months, but then what?
BREAKFAST: 7:45am, toasted whole wheat bagel with good butter and fancy smoked salmon, dirtpill, hunger 3/5
Got this overpriced Charlie Trotter-branded citrus-flavored salmon, cured with sea salt instead of the usual. As I was eating it, found I didn't like it that much and thought if I'm going to experiment with foods to expand my palate, it SHOULD be friggin' low salt! Just don't want to get bored....
BP 8:15am 126/85
AM SNACK: 9:15am, 24 oz still water
LUNCH #1: Noon, 2 small cool slices of crappy pizza, hunger 4/5
Meetins 11am-3pm straight, though a middle meeting provided pizza. Not very good, but got me through without falling apart.
LUNCH #2: 3:15p, fried whiting on whole wheat, 4 unadorned falafel balls, hunger 3/5
Weird, wasn't too hungry but once I ate the sandwich, got very hungry and got the balls. Got them as an appetizer rather than a sandwich, could taste it alone. Surprisingly salty.
On the first Tenacious D album, there is a skit where the two guys go to a drive in window of a generic fast food place. The gag is that while Jack Black is ordering almost the entire menu, at the same time he is ranting that he is on a diet - ordering stuff like a large cola - half regular and half diet, 3 small orders of fries because their small and not large. And of course, the fillet-of-fish sandwich, because, as he exclaims, "Because it's FISH! It's healthy!".
The whiting sandwich was yummy, but between the grease, the breading, the questionable origins of the fish and the nutrient-light tomato and lettuce, the term 'healthy' would be stretching it...
PM SNACK: 5pm, 24 oz still water
DINNER: 7:30pm, spinach gnocchi with homemade tomato sauce and grated cheese, big green salad, big square of dark chocolate with peanut butter, a little seltzer
EVENING SNACK: 11:30pm, full portion of yogurt with peanuts, honey and drop of vanilla extract, hunger 4/5
When I realized how hungry I was, I knew I did not eat enough for dinner. In the past at this point I would start binging, starting with the sweets, with the idea that sugar would kill be hunger, but it wouldn't do it fast enough so I'd continue to eat.
I knew I'd have to blog about my sins, so I just ate a (reeeeally) early breakfast, and 2 minutes after I wanted more, but 10 minutes later I started to feel contented and sleepy. Hmmm.
Sunday, September 23
Sundays with Betsy
ADDENDA:
Because of riding, didn't get to hit up the greenmarket in Union Square. Went to the local greenmarket this morning, pretty scarce, but did buy more local honey for yogurt, the upcoming oatmeal season and a future tofu pie. Bought ingredients for a full salad at Wholefoods, mostly organic.
The check-out kid asked if the romaine lettuce was green-lettuce, fair enough question. Then he asked me if the celery was asparagus! When he rang up the $4/lb shallot as a yellow cooking onion ($.99/lb) I didn't correct him... maybe I'm not as unknowlegable about food than I thought....
Spent the day with my wife, was really nice. We pedalled over to Brooklyn for brunch walked my friend back to her house and found ourselves on the edge of Prospect Park. We grinded up a wooded hill, found a spot to read the Sunday Times for a while, then pedalled out of the park through Clinton Hill to the Williamsburg Bridge. All evening I de-jewelcased my record collection into little plastic sleeves while she did work, it was very comfortable. (However, I only got through about 1/10th of my collection, oy....)
BREAKFAST: 6:45am, yogurt with honey and peanuts, hunger 4/5
Left over hunger from yesterday's exertion.
AM SNACK: 10am, banana, hunger 4/5
Forgot about these. Flecked with black, perfectly sweet and firm. Does this count as a sweet? I guess in competition with gelato, donuts and cookies, Ilsa would say "No"....
AM SNACK: 10:45am, 2 pieces whole wheat toast with hummus, hunger 4/5
LUNCH: 1:30pm, 2 huge pieces of french toast slathered with nutella in the middle, bacon, small glass of OJ, a few sips of tea, water, hunger 4/5
Brooklyn brunch with friends, this dish came with a side of syrup, a side of dulche de leche, and caramelized banana on top. The chocolate inside already made it ridiculously sweet and deserty, who the hell would want all the other sweets on top of that? Yuk!! Real meal or no, this was definitely the sweets for the day.
PM SNACK: 5pm, 2 pints of water
DINNER: 8pm, 1 spinach knish with mustard, one small frozen pizza, hunger 4/5
Freezer fishin'. Unlike the past, this frozen pizza has been sitting around for a full month - usually, they'd disappear at a rapid rate. Wasn't very good, in fact was quite crappy, and this was a fancy expensive gourmet brand that I used a pizza stone to get the crust cripsy/chewy. I gotta make my own...
EVENING SNACK: 10:30pm, 2 large squares dark chocolate, hunger 3/5
Sweet craving. Eh, it's Sunday, a little indulgence won't kill me.
Because of riding, didn't get to hit up the greenmarket in Union Square. Went to the local greenmarket this morning, pretty scarce, but did buy more local honey for yogurt, the upcoming oatmeal season and a future tofu pie. Bought ingredients for a full salad at Wholefoods, mostly organic.
The check-out kid asked if the romaine lettuce was green-lettuce, fair enough question. Then he asked me if the celery was asparagus! When he rang up the $4/lb shallot as a yellow cooking onion ($.99/lb) I didn't correct him... maybe I'm not as unknowlegable about food than I thought....
Spent the day with my wife, was really nice. We pedalled over to Brooklyn for brunch walked my friend back to her house and found ourselves on the edge of Prospect Park. We grinded up a wooded hill, found a spot to read the Sunday Times for a while, then pedalled out of the park through Clinton Hill to the Williamsburg Bridge. All evening I de-jewelcased my record collection into little plastic sleeves while she did work, it was very comfortable. (However, I only got through about 1/10th of my collection, oy....)
BREAKFAST: 6:45am, yogurt with honey and peanuts, hunger 4/5
Left over hunger from yesterday's exertion.
AM SNACK: 10am, banana, hunger 4/5
Forgot about these. Flecked with black, perfectly sweet and firm. Does this count as a sweet? I guess in competition with gelato, donuts and cookies, Ilsa would say "No"....
AM SNACK: 10:45am, 2 pieces whole wheat toast with hummus, hunger 4/5
LUNCH: 1:30pm, 2 huge pieces of french toast slathered with nutella in the middle, bacon, small glass of OJ, a few sips of tea, water, hunger 4/5
Brooklyn brunch with friends, this dish came with a side of syrup, a side of dulche de leche, and caramelized banana on top. The chocolate inside already made it ridiculously sweet and deserty, who the hell would want all the other sweets on top of that? Yuk!! Real meal or no, this was definitely the sweets for the day.
PM SNACK: 5pm, 2 pints of water
DINNER: 8pm, 1 spinach knish with mustard, one small frozen pizza, hunger 4/5
Freezer fishin'. Unlike the past, this frozen pizza has been sitting around for a full month - usually, they'd disappear at a rapid rate. Wasn't very good, in fact was quite crappy, and this was a fancy expensive gourmet brand that I used a pizza stone to get the crust cripsy/chewy. I gotta make my own...
EVENING SNACK: 10:30pm, 2 large squares dark chocolate, hunger 3/5
Sweet craving. Eh, it's Sunday, a little indulgence won't kill me.
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