Fatty Thoughts

Woke up with a croaky throat and a veil of tiredness, but got up and pushed myself to eat a good, healthy breakfast to avoid a lunch-binge later on. Due to the MLK holiday, B had off but the restaurant was open.

Been thinking about dramatic weight-loss recently, and the options available. It's easy to say "eat less-do more", but the longer I live, the longer I realize that the psychological, physiological, biological and sociological all team up in a wicked brew to take the teeth out of this simple credo. My body mass index is 35.4, and over 30 is considered "obese". I'd have to be 163 lbs (a loss of 70 lbs) to be official "normal weight". I know I'm a bit of a chubster, but I never saw myself as a superfatty "obese" person.

Trawling Amazon under a "weight loss" search, a lot of books came up. A drug, "Alli" came up a lot, which seems to be the same stuff they put into "diet" potato chips in the 90s that made people shit a lot and soil them selves. My quick research made me conclude that it is not a magic weight loss pill, so much as a harsh stick that makes people afraid to eat fatty food, lest they let loose farts of indeterminate nature. A bunch of other pills looked like either snake oil or straight-up scariness. Speed-like drugs aimed at weight loss will make you lose weight, sure, but it'll make you lose sleep, lose focus, eventually lose your mind.

Then there are the surgeries, I've been reading up on lap-band technology. A band is inserted through a small incision in the belly button around the top of the stomach and through injections, can increase or decrease the size of the band. It's considered the safest of bariatric procedures because their is no actually cutting up of the corpus - it's a same day procedure. Still, a) your still getting hacked up, b) it required regular needles and c) in the end you have a lot less control of what you can and cannot eat, and what portions. Eating well is important to me. I would like to eat less, but do I really have to go under the knife to do this?

Am I content to be an obese person for the majority of my life? Two things make me think not: As I push into my 40s, my health will suffer more from excess weight. And secondly, if I could drop 70 lbs from what I have to carry around on a bicycle, oh my GAWD how much faster I could be!!

"Diets" are false, because they end. For Edie's and my family's sake, I need to take a good hard reevaluation of what I'm doing, or surgery will be in my future, minus the choice.
BREAKFAST: 8:30am, iced green tea, toasted pumpernickel bagel with cream cheese and sable, 1 bowl, hunger 3/5
LUNCH: 12:30pm, 2 small slices of Sicilian, 2 small slices of white Sicilian, water, .75 bowl, hunger 4/5
PM SNACK: 3:45pm, large green salad, .75 bowl, hunger 4/5
DINNER: 5:30pm, a few experimental "garlic crisps", roast potatoes, 8oz sprite, water, .75 bowl, hunger 4/5

EVENING SNACK: 10pm, pint of pork fried rice, 1 bowl, hunger 4/5