BOOM!

ADDENDA:
Met with Ilsa last night, first time in what feels like a long time. She felt my sickness was a 'healing crisis' of some sort - my body adjusting to the changes in diet. I think that might be a part of it, but the wedding planning hasn't helped.

A few people have mentioned to me in the last few weeks that I look like I've lost weight. I didn't believe them, as I feel like despite cutting back on sugar, I'm eating more calories to feel more satiated to avoid snacks. I don't like obsessing over weight numbers - I actually do the opposite, only getting weighed at doctor's appointments. Well, Ilsa asked me to weigh myself, as my medical record says I last weighed 229. I stepped on B's scale this morning....230! Ha! The miracle Pork diet: eat all the pork and butter you want, look skinnier and remain the same weight! I think among other goals, figuring out an ideal do-able weight and eating/cycling my way torwards it will be a focus after the wedding.

What I write here is open to the public, and despite it not being advertised, I guess I do edit myself to keep it within those restrictions of palatability. At my meeting with Ilsa, she was digging a little deeper at me, and I was unsure how to respond, how far to open up, about what. She is looking at nutrition holistically, and I need to take advantage of that.....but I'm not gonna splay my guts for all YOU to see, he he.

I leave work tomorrow, so tomorrow will be my last post till Sept 11th, when I go back to work. When I get back, I'm going to reread this entire blog and try to reflect a little bit about where I was and where I'm going. I think the nature of this blog will become more personal, and at the same time certain entries will have to be restricted to just me and Ilsa. I mean, do you really want to read about how Betsy's passion for monkey-abuse really scares me and turns me on at the same time?! (I KEED! I KEED!)

Or not. I'm mulling it over.

BREAKFAST: 8:30am, crumpet with butter, small amount of seltzer, hippietablet, hunger 3/5
Excellent, thick, ropey sleep. Felt refreshed....

AM SNACK: 10AM, 24 oz still water.
....which is a good thing, because I had a tsunami of meetings, projects and managing of personalities from the second I stepped in the door.

LUNCH: 3:30pm, falafel sandwich on whole wheat pita with no pickle, chocolate icecream cone, hunger 5/5
When I got out of a meeting at 3pm, I realized I was hungry. Went back to my desk to do some last minute followups, but realized I was on the verge of collapse. Must....eat. Never occured to me to ask for whole wheat with the falafel. As I was walking back, I felt like I needed something to shut my stomach up. The icecream cone will hopefully be my one desert for the day. I like that I ate it strategically, rather than from a craving.

DINNER: 7:30pm, 3 slices of good pizza, light on the bufalla moz, one of them with thin slices of salami, water, 1 beer, a large handful of See's Chocolates, hunger 3/5
More friends from afar are in town, 10 of us got together at Isabella's Oven, was a good time. One friend from Cali brought a nice box of See's Chocolates - I wanted to just not touch it but Betsy insisted on opening them and sharing them. Once the smell wafted in my nose, I said, damn, well, I'm about to stop blogging for a while and chill. I NEED THOSE CHOCOLATES! AAAAIGH! I did eat light all day anway and dinner was relatively restrained, and it's not often these friends are around and these chocolates aren't available here and I don't really need any more justifications for being a choco-pig....