Out of Work Work

ADDENDA:
I got laid off yesterday, it was both unexpected and expected. Due to political upheaval that started months and months ago, my work load was dwindling and the department contracting. On coming back from vacation, I found myself with no new work and nothing being set up, so I asked for a meeting with my direct supervisor to discuss it - sitting around feeling uneasy for a day is quite enough - if I didn't ask for the meeting, how long would I of lingered?

To cut a boring cliched story short, the story of the political shifts explained, promises of recommendation letters were made, severance through February given (good, as I've only been there a year) and a card and a firm handshake.

Going back today briefly to tie up loose ends and clear out the desk, then uptown to a friend for dinner who has been abroad for the last 6 months and came back to find she got laid off from the job she was promised to return to.

Too early to think too much of the future, but I know it wants to involve food. Chef's school? Project management for food TV? Manage a kitchen? Start my own company? I think I need to go through the stages of grief before I really get into it.

BP 10:30am, 136/102
First time I've taken BP on an empty stomach.

BREAKFAST: 11am, organic wholegrain chex with good milk, hunger 4/5

PM SNACK: 12:30pm, 24 oz still water, 2 saltless wholewheat pretzels, hunger 3/5
Got on the bike, caught the 11:30 ferry to SI, went passed the house I grew up and other places that were rich with associations with my parents. Went to Silver Lake, where my dad would take me after preschool and let me run wild with a Big Wheel that he kept in the trunk. Sat on a bench where I sat with him once and read together, sat alone and read and talked to peeps and things. It was nice communing with memories of a much simpler, happier time. As much as I knock it, I had a mostly happy childhood.

LUNCH: 4pm, 1 slice of streetza, hunger 4/5
Road from the ferry to Times Square to take the corpse-walk at the office. As I was heading over, felt both really hunger and really not. I asked myself, as much as I really need to eat less and lose weight blah blah blah, would Ilsa really think positively of this? Of course not! So I stopped at the closest pizza place and grabbed a slice. Despite being hungry, it tasted bleah. The sauce was tangy and bland at the same time, the dough was crisp but too thick so it had a mushy layer.

Took care of my loose ends quickly, said good bye, surprised by people's emotionality. The work itself wasn't horrendously captivating and I won't miss it, but the people were cool as hell. If not professional contacts, I've gained a few social friends out of the matter.

DINNER: 6:30pm, small green salad, rigatoni with homemade sauce, chocolate sorbet, 2 glasses red wine, 1 pint water, hunger 4/5
Road up to Washington Heights to visit an old friend who was in Helsinki for 6 months on a Fulbright, and just got back a few days ago to find herself laid off. It was nice meeting someone who wanted to talk about themselves (not because she's self centered, it's just that she had a lot to say - she met and got engaged to a dude there!!) AND could commiserate about the work thing (though she has lots of options and interests, I'm more of going back to the soil to grow something new altogether...)

She originally told me she was going to serve berries for dessert, and on the ride up I decided I was going to bite the bullet and eat berries for the first time since I was 5 or 6 years old. She said they didn't look that great at the market, so went the chocolate route....phew!

EVENING SNACK: 11pm, bowl of veggie booty, hunger 4/5
After spending an hour of intense/emotional/good conversation with the wifey, feel better about things. She went to bed, and my appetite returned a little.