My Parents, My Tubbiness

Woke up groggy, still a little sore from Monday's weights & ride. Had a good morning with Milli, got some chores done. School flew by, really enjoyed teaching some recipes for the first time, did food shopping after school -- gearing up for some knish making, picked up 40 lbs of onions that need to be caramelized before anything else...

AM SNACK: 7:45am, iced green tea


BREAKFAST: 9am, smoothie, .75 bowl, hunger 4/5
Almost time for a new mix of frozen fruit. Made a double batch, to fill up Edie's mini popsicles...


LUNCH: 12:45pm, sardine & avocado on whole wheat toast, baby carrots, pickle, water, 1 bowl, hunger 4/5


SCHOOL DINNER: 6:15pm, baked fillet of sole, risotto 3 ways, sprite, 1.25 bowl, hunger 4/5
Bacon Leek Risotto, Mushroom Risotto, Garlic Risotto. Not a light meal -- I had one small ladle of each, but it adds up. The kids were impressed with how good the fish was -- they were used to fried fish sandwiches of questionable quality. This was simple, fresh fillet, laid out with nothing but a little butter and salt, and broiled at a high temp for 3 minutes. It was nice to hear how surprised they were at liking it, thinking because it wasn't breaded it probably would be bleah.

EVENING SNACK: 8:45pm, Ben & Jerry's ice cream, .5 bowl, hunger 4/5
As I'm eating this ice cream, just put away groceries, legs still buzzing from the ride, family groggy and falling to sleep, my mind wanders, wondering -- why am I so enjoying this not-that-great ice cream? My homemade stuff is, by my standards, better tasting and more decadent and does not have an after taste of gums and stabilizers. So what is it? It's the same feeling I had when I would sneak in snacks under my parent's radar, when I was a kid and they were concerned about my tubbiness. I'm enjoying this ice cream because my parents can't stop me from eating it. How messed up is that? Being my parents haven't had much say in my diet in 30+ years, and they've been dead for nearly 7 years now. Something to share with a therapist, I think.