The Best Oatmeal Ever

BREAKFAST: 8am, water, dirtpill, hunger 1/5

BREAKFAST #2: 11am, Noah's Decadent Oatmeal, hunger 4/5
No eggs to make pancakes. Wanted something 1) delicious, 2) healthy and 3) wouldn't send my recovering state in the wrong direction. So I went all out and made the oatmeal of my dreams:

• 1/2 cup organic rolled oats
• 1/2 cup room temp water
• 1/2 cup whole unhomogenized organic milk
• 1/2 tablespoon organic grass fed butter
• 3 shakes of unrefined sea salt
• 1 pinch organic dehydrated organic cane juice
• 1 pinch freshly grated cinnamon

Dump all in a high-walled plastic bowl, nuke on high for 4 minutes or until desired thickness. Stir and eat.

Oh my. Much better than I expected. The whole milk, butter salt was what a freshly baked mac n' cheese from scratch and a fatty Alfredo sauce has in common - the good taste part that they have in common, minus all the cheese. The light hint of sweetness and cinnamon set off the rich dairy flavor at just the right angle. The fat in the milk gave the oats a tender firmness never found with just water. The butter gave a spectacular mouthfeel once swallowed.

The only thing I would of done differently is cut back to 1 or 2 salt shakes - it was pleasantly salty, but the salt would of had the same positive effect without being so notable.

And it doesn't hurt to have a Rufus sleeping on your head, a hot lady kvelling over you, your health slowly returning, and the weekend ahead of you.

LUNCH: 1:30, penne with homemade tomato sauce & grated Parmesan, hunger 4/5
Defrosted sauce, getting rid of the non-wholewheat pasta box by box.

PM SNACK: 3pm, 3 fresh baked chocolate chip cookies, hunger 2/5
Though it's the weekend, I think I'll aim for one dessert today. Only slept 3 hours last night, as I usually do the night after a drug-sleep night. Maybe sugar in the middle of the day instead of the end of the day will help tonight's sleep be all that more thick n' ropey.

DINNER: 7:30pm, 12 pieces sashimi, shrimp tempura appetizer, vegetarian nori rolls, small side of white rice, small amount of soy sauce, diet black cherry boylan, hunger 3/5
Downed the soda to squash sugar cravings.

PM SNACK: 9:30pm, small handful of unsalted pretzels, hunger 2/5

Not ill, not better

ADDENDA:
Symptoms retreated, tried to go to work this morning and realized despite Nyquil-sleep, was totally out of proverbial gas. Been sleeping all day, no energy. Eating more, but not much.

I just watched literally 24 hours of television. I am now watching a food-channel show about diners, and one in particular whose specialty is the "garbage plate". God bless America's food culture!

BREAKFAST: 8am, toasted whole wheat bagel with a little bit of peanut butter, pint of still water, hunger 2/5
Thought I was going to work, but after eating this, felt woozy and hazy. Promptly emailed work then napped till 11.

AM SNACK: 11am, 3 graham crackers with chocolate hazelnut butter, hunger 3/5

LUNCH: 3pm, shrimp toast, pint of beef lomein, hunger 4/5
Haven't indulged in take-out Chinese in a while, used to be a weekly standard. This is total comfort food, food that would be an anytime-special occasion for my parents and I. Despite the sodium horror show, it just makes me a little more comfortable coming out of an illness.

DINNER: 7pm, 4 vegetable dumpling, diet black cherry soda, hunger 3/5
Left over from lunch, the dumplings had weird pockets of intense saltiness, I had to just stop. Tired of water, washed it down with a Boylan's, which I intend not to buy again, but feel wasteful just throwing them away.

PM SNACK: 8:15pm, about 10 halves of Jaques Torres dark-chocolate ganaches, hunger 3/5
B had a surprise bachelorette party last night - pedicures, penis-shaped head-gear and what ever else ladies do on these things. One of her friends, however, gave her a nicely-sized box of good chocolates. So when B got back from chores (returning more gifts, getting a makeup test), she sat on the edge of the couch I've been prone on for the last 3 days. She opened the box, ate about half of each one by one, named the flavor and gave me her feedback, then put it down for me to gobble. It was kinda like a scene out of a light romance, only not corny. I don't think I could ask for a better partner to watch out for me. I love you Betsygirl!

Pizza, How Could You?!

ADDENDA:
Stayed home again, ate nearly nothing. Damn you evil Pizza!! I thought you were my friend, my comfort, my lover - how could you do this to me? I think we may have to have a talk, once I recover.

BREAKFAST: 8am, dirt pill, water hunger 0/5

LUNCH: 2 graham crackers w/ chocolate hazel nut butter, hunger 1/5
My urge for sweets overcame my lack of hunger! I was looking for Nutella at Whole Foods, and found an interesting organic and healthier analog of Nutella - not only organic, but skips the hydrogenated oils, the artificial flavors and the extra chemicals. Still, it's about half fat and half sugar, so by no means a health-food....

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, half a whole wheat bagel with good butter

DINNER: 7pm, 12 boiled meat, potato and kraut/mushroom perogies, 2 pints of water, hunger 4/5
Hunger is welcome back. Another comfort food, this time minus the grease and the dairy. I don't know why I haven't ordered perogies from this local diner before, as I often crave them. I usually eat 7 or 8, but I ordered the X-tra large portion, thinking my stomach would only be able to take half and I'd have another meal out of it. But low and behold, they jumped off the plate and shot down my throat. And I felt good after, though still sick, but the more, uh, graphic symptoms had receded.

PM SNACK: 9:30, shot of Nyquil
Don't like taking sleeping drugs, but really wanted to be on point for work the next day.

The Salad Warned, the Pizza Attacked

ADDENDA:
The original post:

I suspect an evil gustatory experience last night has sent me sideways. It is noon and I have not slept (or eaten) since last night's dinner. To paraphrase that annoying old guy on NPR, tomorrow I will be back....with the REST of the stor-Y. Good-DAY!

Well, now 4 days later and 75% recovered, 20/20 hindsight tells me the warning signs were there, I just wasn't paying attention. The stress of the wedding and an uptick of workload took me from two sides, and I hadn't been sleeping well. The night before, I felt a bit rundown, and wanted comfort food....I'm a glutton for comfort food...

The salad was fine and fresh but I just didn't enjoy it. My body was hungry, but my stomach wasn't. It just wanted to....rest. I should of had the salad and a small sweetie, and call it a night. But B was home, and we both LOVE pizza, and since I've been watching my diet, it's become something special instead of something regular. While ordering, I spontaneously ordered pepperoni because it's B's favorite (personally, mushrooms is the only topping I really go gaga over, but B is shroomophobic).

Tasted so good, that charcoaly crust, the fresh bright red crushed tomato sauce, the pillowy fresh mozz, the roasted veg, the crisp and oily pepperoni....it was a pleasure to eat, and I wolfed it. Fast. Then hey!, I didn't eat dessert today, doesn't matter I haven't let my meal settle, let's go for the gelato and mini pies! Ilsa, I swear I didn't eat this stuff - it just jumped down my throat!

Hopefully in the future, when a salad gives me a warning, I'll be able to pick up on it. The immense amount of dairy mixed with the crappy meat put my GI tract in a twist and knocked me out for a solid 3 days - this happens about twice a year, but this is the first time I've recorded my food intake to parallel it. I've lived, hopefully now I've learned.

BREAKFAST: 9am, half a whole wheat bagel with good butter, water hunger 0/5

LUNCH: 3pm, water, hunger 0/5

DINNER: all evening, water, hunger 0/5

I Used to HATE Lamb Chops....

ADDENDA:
My mom was a wonderful mother, a great person, a strong woman, a respected leader and a horrible cook. I remember the thin lambchops she would broil until they were tough, dry and the color of putty. No oil or salt that I can remember, never mind butter. Laying in front of the television, I'd cut the meat into bits then stick them under the corner of the carpet. After dinner, I'd be primed for a nice big desert.

I've been grooving on pork chops lately, but I think the time is coming soon to see what I can do with lamb, in my mom's honor.

BREAKFAST: 9am, cornflakes with whole unhomogenized milk, dirt tablet, hunger 2/5
Woke up late, but got a good night sleep. On the way out, saw the tray of mini pecan pies - one was half eaten by another resident of my apartment (hrumph!) I was very tempted to pop it in my mouth but, ummm, didn't want to have to cop to it here.

BP 10am: 126/80

LUNCH: 11:45am, chickpeas, lentils, spinach & panmeer over rice with nan bread, some raw onion, hunger 4/5
Just hungry, desirous of carbs. Sat down at local Times Square joint, read more of Animal Vegetable Miracle. Felt thristy. Why am I not drinking more water? Spicey mouth is shouting out for icecream, let's see how water does.

PM SNACK: 12:15pm, 24 oz still water

BP 3:30pm 121/84

PM SNACK: 4:15pm, bag of Robert's Potato Flyers, hunger 4/5
Eating my way through the non-sweet selection downstairs, hadn't had this in years. Puffed potato/corn thingies, with too much salt. Just tasted too salty, unpleasant. Went on their website to see the salt-content of their other products, was surprised to see a big announcement about a recall of their Veggie Booty due to salmonella contamination.

In Kingsolver's book, she writes about how the industrial food monoculture has limited the number of species and varieties of veg we eat, with an immense excess of potatos, corn and soy being pushed into our diets. Looking at these chips and the poisoned Booty, and can't help but see a connection.

DINNER: 7:30pm, half a Lombardi's pizza with pepperoni, onions and roasted peppers, homemade green salad, large portion of dulce de leche gelato and 4 pecan pie tarts, hunger 3/5
Salad was oddly unappealling, but the pizza was wonderful, if a little bit cheesier than usual. Little did I know this was the preamble to a long night....

Goin' Coco-nuts

BREAKFAST: 8:45am, a glass of water, small handful of unsalted pretzels, hippy tablet, hunger 1/5
Couldn't fall asleep till 4am due to wedding anxiety - yesterday was really the first day that was totally taken by wedding-related matters and nothing else. Fortunately, I know the #1 cause of my wedding anxiety and plan to address it tonight, hopefully resolve it as best as I can. Woke up groggy, food the last thing on my mind. But I knew I'd feel worse if ate nothing, so choked down some pretzels.

AM SNACK: 10:15, 11 oz coconut water, hunger 2/5
My friend Tamar read about my Gatorade dilemma and brought in a box of coconut water for me to try. Pleasantly but not overpoweringly sweet. Not as coconutty as I thought it would be, hints of pineapple. Slightly creamy mouth feel, like milk. High in sugar and potassium, hmmm, this definitely needs to be put to a bike-test, perhaps when me and T go on the NYC century together.

BP 10:30am: 126/95

LUNCH: 12:45pm, half a pastrami sandwich on rye with mustard, small cup of split pea soup with croutons, small bowl of vinegary slaw with 2 pickles, hunger 4/5
Work going well, but feel physically in need of comfort food, and a proper sit-down restaurant where I could read away my lunch hour. There is a Junior's on the ground floor of my building, and for this purpose, is perfect.

I'm in the early chapters of Kingsolver's book, and she's writing about what food culture is - it's not invented by a corporation, but comes naturally from the ground over time - "national and biological integrity". While embalmed cow is not quite what she had in mind, it is part of my personal food culture - this is what I grew up with, what my parents grew up with, what my grandparents (well, my dad's side, at least) grew up with. It's not the healthiest, but it makes me feel more connected to the world through my plate.

Yes, it is a salt trap of a meal, but a) the portion was a lot smaller than the usual head-sized meat portion, b) fries were sacrificed at the altar of Ilsa and c) no desert. Will this meal automatically raise my blood pressure, or is it more of a cumulative thing?

BP 1:45pm: 118/77

I guess that answers that a little. Feeling a desire for sweets. Greenmarket corn on the cob for dinner tonight, hopefully it'll help me contain a huge desert-fest....

BP 3:45pm: 118/65

LUNCH #2: 4pm, falafel on pita, hunger 4/5
Tired but feel good. Soul food from my mom's side.

DINNER: 7:15pm, large boneless porkchop with mushrooms in good butter and organic garlic, 3 ears boiled sweet corn with butter and salt, a large portion of dulche de leche gelato and 4 two-bite pecan pies, hunger=4/5
Left work early, browsed the Union Square greenmarket - some of the fruit and veg looked really good, but I have this hesitance - how do you cook it? I feel a subtle shift from fear to curiousity. In all my readings about the green market movement, it is said repeatedly that the Union Square greenmarket is both one of the first and one of the best. I'm almost embarrassed to admit that the only thing I bought from it for the past few years was wheatgrass....for my cat. Even my dad would shop there for veg....I thought he did it only because it was cheap....not because it was fresher and tastier.

Following some online instructions, I cooked the pork by browning on high heat then turning it down and covering the pan for a few minutes....it came up near perfect, if I was looking for well-done. Still juicy and porky, but I prefer it a little pinker. I'll get the hang of it eventually.

I purposely got a big, rich desert....with no chocolate elements. It'll be easier to resist later.

A Conservative Sunday, Except for Excessive Pasta

BREAKFAST: 8:30am, 3 burnt pieces of bacon, 1.5 bialies with sable, seltzer, soylent green pill, hunger 4/5
Feel good! Sore, but good.

LUNCH: 2pm, guacamole with soft tortillas and chips, grilled shrimp with rice and pepper sauce, hunger 4.5/5
Spent the day returning gifts. (If you're someone who gave us a gift, don't worry, yours is great. It's all the other ones that we exchanged!). By the end of it, starving to the point of feeling woozy, and the sore legs and stingy shoulders from yesterday's exertion didn't help. Went to Rosa Mexicana on 18th street, the guac was made table side, saw the good 1/2 teaspoon of salt poured into it! That's 25% of my daily right there. Noticed the saltiness of the shrimp and rice I ate - funny, as I was eating it thinking how the saltiness was kind of icky - it made the flavors a bit cartoony and loud.

Though normally I would have desert, I realized I wasn't hungry - I could comfortably skip it at the moment and try to have one desert today, despite it being the loosy-goosy weekend!

I haven't hit a 5/5 on the hunger scale since starting this log. Basically, when I just lose it from hunger and will eat anything to get unhungry, that'll be a 5/5. I once fasted for 4 days, the morning of the second day was a 5/5, but by the afternoon it disappeared. Unless my circumstance prevents me from eating all day, I hope to not have to experience a 5/5 anytime soon.

PM SNACK: 4pm, large hunk of varhona dark chocolate, hunger 4/5
We went food shopping, through this in the cart. When I got home, rolled up on the TV and thoroughly enjoyed it. I had a slight headache between lunch and coming home. I thought this chocolate might increase it - it actually made it go away about 20 seconds after chomping on the chunk. Hmm.

DINNER: 7pm, large green salad, whole wheat pasta with pesto and grated cheese, hunger 2/5
Looking back, I wasn't very hungry, I ate this meal more out of habit of having to have "3 squares a day" like my parents insisted. Perhaps I would of been better off with just the salad and a handful of pretzels...

Saturday - Day O' Sweets

ADDENDA:
Rode bikes with Danny to Nyack and back. Between the waking up early and pushing the bike a little, my stomach just stayed tight and closed most of the ride. By the time I started to get hungry, I was already on the West Side bike path, within an hour of home.

BREAKFAST: 5:15am, toasted onion bagel with sablefish, a large number of 2-bite brownies, small amount of seltzer, hunger 3/5
I think I was able to stuff down those brownies without blinking is because I barely had any carbs for dinner the night before - even for me, a half tub of gelato is a lot, but it was not offset by carbs. I guess this was a continuation. I ate the brownies because the donut shop wasn't open yet, and I needed the sugar rush to get me on my bike and start moving.

AM SNACK 1: 8:30am, 2 fresh donuts from farm stand, lots of water, Hunger 2/5
Tip of northern NJ, didn't feel too hungry but was careful not to become hungry either.

AM SNACK: 10:30am, 20oz bottle of gatorade, lots of water, Hunger 2/5
The last 2 experiments to replace gatorade failed, but I still need to attempt to create a home-made sports drink. Reading the label, it's really liquid industrial candy with a few additional chemicals thrown in. I can't believe I used to drink this stuff casually at home. Still, my stomach was tight and it went down easy, giving me the needed sugar rush to get me over the cliffs on 9W.

LUNCH: 2pm, mushroom potato knich, apple cheese knish, botle of seltzer, hunger 4.5/5
Home! Munchies! Would of eaten more but fell asleep on the couch watching a DVD, snuggled tightly on the couch wedged between a warm woman and a warm cat.

DINNER: 6:30pm bread and whitebean salad, 4 pieces of tomato and roasted garlic bruschetta, linguine in meat sauce, dirt pillhunger 4/5
Went to Supper with B, a nice Italian restaurant with a slightly off-beat, Northern menu. I went there a few times with mom, she loved it so much she took some of her own friends there. The fact that it was in the East Village and usually had a line of people, mostly in there 20s, waiting to get in, she found that incredibly hip.

B was a little irritating, criticizing me for not engaging her. Thing is, I was there, I wasn't being rude and reading a paper or playing a video game. We were at the bar, facing the open kitchen and I was watching the people prepare ours, and everyone elses, food. On top of that, I was really hungry, really tired, and really sore from the day's activity. I thought being there together was enough, chilling out together and enjoying the same experience. Why does every minute have to be a gabfest?

The meatsauce was eh, but the roasted bulbs of garlic on the grilled bread was amazing. I must learn the technique to roast garlic this way - it's like an almost buttery garlic spread, but mellow instead of sharp.

Forgot the multivitamin this moring, so I took it befoer we left for dinner.

PM SNACK: 8pm, 2 cupcakes, hunger 3/5
Too full to eat dessert at the restaurant, we stopped by Sugar Sweet Sunshine on the way home. B refused to get her own, ended up eating half of one of mine.

PM SNACK: 11pm., handful of saltless pretzels, hunger 3/5

PM SNACK: 12:30am, cherry italian ice, hunger 3/5
Craving sugar, enough so to keep me up. Gave me a slight headache as I nodded off to sleep.

A Second Chance Stir Fry

BREAKFAST: 8:30am, toasted everything bagel with good butter, soylent green pill, hunger 3/5
Though I didn't ask for it, an everything bagel ended up in the freezer's paper bagel bag. Tasted ickily salty.

BP 8:45am: 115/75

AM SNAK: 10am, 24 oz water

BP 11am: 126/86

LUNCH: 1pm, bowl of sliced beef over white rice, udon noodles in soup, 2 shrimp shumai, water, hunger 4/5
Lunch with BFF Erikka in Times Square (she works close by), to the Japanese shop I don't love too much. Ordered a special plate with a list of a whole lotta stuff, but what I got was different - I guess they choose out of the list what they want to serve to you. The beef was unsauced so it was reasonable, and I ate the noodles but skipped the soup. Enjoyed catching up with Erikka more than the food.

Erikka suggested dessert after, and I glumly said I couldn't because I was restricting myself to one dessert a day. She cracked up, I guess it IS kind of funny. Still, if I were to eat dessert, the idea of having the rest of the day without sweets is uncomfortable. One dessert in the evening means I can look forward to it.

BP 1:45pm 116/80

PM SNACK: 4pm, a bag of Robert's Smart Puffs, hunger 4/5
Only 150mg of sodium for a big salt taste. Kind of like crunchy packing peanuts with a cheese powder coat. Would rather be eating chocolate or cookies right now. God. My palate needs to grow the f@ck up.

BP 4pm 123/86

DINNER: 7:30, large green salad with italian dressing, large bowl of shrimp stirfry with weird tofu/yam noodles, chocolate hazelnut gelato and three 2-bite brownies, hunger 4/5
Experimented with the left-over ingredients and a few new ones. Stirfry had the left over veg and dill, frozen shrimp from early in the week, got a new vegetable stock (not low sodium, but naturally about 50% less than the chicken stocks on the shelf). Rather than rice, found this odd low carb low calorie Japanese noodle made from soybeans and yam flour - tasted pleasantly slimey and weirdly airy. Watered down the stock and boiled it with corn starch - didn't have any wine, unfortunately. This time it wasn't bland, but still wasn't all that. Not ready to serve to guests, but this stir-fry thing with a thickened sauce has something to it - gotta find some hardcore old Asian recipes to figure out how to do it right. Gelato and brownies heavenly.

EVENING SNACK: 8:30pm, 3 one bite brownies, hunger 2/5
Sitting watching a DVD with B, my lust for more sugar really didn't dissipate after dessert, so after an hour, I somehow thought, hey, I haven't really finished with dessert! Now that the lust is gone, I know that was really a second round of sweets. But hey, its almost the weekend - I have next week to get it right!

It's Gonna Be a Bright, Pancakey Daaaay....

ADDENDA:
That's to the tune of I Can See Clearly Now, btw....

BREAKFAST: 7am, 3 golden pancakes, chow-pill, hunger 3/5
We went to sleep without addressing wedding stuff, so I woke up at 6am and made us pancakes, on a new pan we got as a gift, with extra milk to see how it would be, and it was good. Turns out this evenings plans got smooshed, so we just chilled and we're going to spend this evening on wedding stuff. But this time, I think we're going to order in or eat in the neighborhood for efficiency's sake. I used to order in 3-4 times a week....wow, how did I do that?
BP at 8am: 117/77

AM SNACK: 24 oz still water
BP at 10:30: 121/83

LUNCH #1: 12:45, green salad from home, hunger 4/5
Busy working (on wedding stuff, he he), almost forgot to eat. Almost.

LUNCH #2: 2pm, .75lbs from organic salad bar of Thai beef and sesame noodles with tofu, 24 oz still water, hunger 3/5
Walked to a 'healthy' place a few blocks away with friends. For a healthy place, they do a strong business in burgers and pizza. Sure, they're probably hormone-free and whole wheat crusts, but is this really healthy? The definition of 'healthy' seems so amorphous to me right now.

BP 121/82 at 3:30pm

PM SNACK: 4pm, bag of Robert's Pirate Booty with cheddar, hunger 4/5
Really craving sweets, determined to keep it to one-a-day.

DINNER: 6:45pm, half a small lightly-cheesed pizza, a large serving of eggplant parm with a lot of cheese, a small side of pasta, 4 pieces of bread, one hoegaarden beer, hunger 4/5
B & I went to the new Isabella's Oven on our street, it's been getting raves from the Pizza Cognoscenti for a few weeks now. Though pizza and cheese are not yet on a list of Ilsa's banned-substances, I know it is a salt-bomb. Thing was, I was thinking more 'pizza' than 'cheese', and the pizza was a) light on the cheese as a good pizza should and b) AMAZINGLY yummy and well worth the indulgence. And it was an appetizer, not a big feast. However, the eggplant parm was dripping in cheese, about the equivalent of half a large pizza full o' cheese. But I was really hungry, I ate it all, and I was even too full....for a sweet dessert!!!

PM SNACK: 9pm, 3 fresh baked chocolate chip cookies from frozen dough, hunger 2/5
Walking home from the restaurant, I realized I was going to be jonesing for sugar when my stomach felt less full. The donut shop next door was closed, so I decided to get a small one-serving box of Entemann's chocolate chip cookies from a drug store. B lightly scolded me, but I explained to her how I'm a little like a junky, I don't need my fix right now but I can anticipate and moderate.

The Rite Aide did not have the dollar-boxes - they only had the big size, and this time it was "25% MORE FREE!" - an extra-fat-ass box! I waited on line, getting more and more pissed off about it. Why wasn't it 25% cheaper instead of 25% bigger? Why didn't I have the option of buying a single serving? And now I'm going to have this big box of temptation in the house that looks like a PM snack, breakfast and AM snack, too. Through more food out the window? Maybe I should just make my own and screw these guys and the industrial complex thats helping me get fat?!

Then I remembered I had a container of cc cookie dough in the freezer, a nice healthy brand that has just about the same ingredients I would use if I was making it from scratch. Because they take a good 30 minutes to make from start to finish, it's not the kind of sweet snack I can be tempted by too easily - it's not just open the box and toss them back, it takes effort. So I put the box of cookies back and walked out.

Human Chow in a Pill

ADDENDA:
Getting to work, I'm 113/90, that's odd. I really got to calibrate this thing against another machine. I've taken Ilsa's, B's, and Tamar's pressure with it, and they all came in low.

Ilsa did say that after reading this blog, she doesn't think I'm getting the nutrition I need, so she pointed me to this multi-vitamin supplement derived from food sources.....mmmmm, human-chow in pill form! Soylent Green circa 2007!

Thinking about the session I had with B and Ilsa last night, I think the pressure of the upcoming wedding is affecting me more than I thought. I think I need to settle in tonight and focus on all the details. It's only a few weeks away...

BREAKFAST: 9am, toasted onion bagel with the good butter, chow-pill, hunger 4/5
Too tired to make salad last night, so chopped all this morning, worked up my hunger.

LUNCH: 1pm, chirashi and small bowl of miso soup, water, hunger 4/5
Feeling fish. Wished it was healthier. The soup was a salt trap, and the lovely sushi rice bed the fish laid on could be brown. Now a meal from home of a bucket of brown vinegary sushi rice with some amature raw cut fish, that could be fun.

In the middle of the first few chapters of Animal Vegetable Miracle over lunch, starting to feel guilty for my gluttony. Maybe Ilsa is too nice to call a spade a spade, but I can call it whatever I want, and my sweet tooth brings out the glutton in me. Though maybe it's a bit too early, I gotta to try to seriously curtail my sweets intake. Cutting out diet coke and fries was too easy. This is the elephant in the room.

I wanted ice cream after the chirashi, I put it on hold. Maybe I can get by with ONE dessert a day? One sweet treat a day? Well, that'll have to be the ridiculously wonderful milk chocolate gelato waiting for me at home....

At this moment, my bp reads 115/77. Slight beginning of a small headache, maybe need to drink water. If my bloodpressure really is closer to normal, no wonder why those meds wrecked me a few months ago...

PM SNACK: 4:45, Bag of Robert's Smart Puffs, 24 oz still water, hunger 4.5/5
Really wanting sweets. Sitting around, thinking about wanting sweets, then thinking maybe I should eat something small but not sweet, like a potato....duh! A bag of something savory. This bag of cheesy poofs only had 150mg of sodium, could be a lot worse. Planning to do grocery shopping after work, don't want to be insanely hungry while doing that.

As I'm eating my cheesy poofs, a coworker puts a box of dark-chocolate covered macadamia nuts under my nose and asks if I want any....I felt like crying, felt like explaining if I ate one, then I'd have to write about in my blog how lame I am....but I didn't. So I didn't, and I'm not!

DINNER: 8pm, large green salad, scallop and vegetable stirfry in a low-sodium broth/wine sauce over wholegrain black rice, a small piece of chocolate cake and half a pint-tub of milk chocolate gelato, a glass of wine, hunger 4/5
Funny, I usual only make such a complicated effort to cook on special occasions, but on this average-ish Wed night, cooking like this made it special in itself. The internet-found recipe called for a little wine, so B brought home wine and we had a glass, it was calming. This was the first time I ever cooked with either corn starch or broth or black rice, and the final product was just ok, a lot of things could of been better (was too bland, for one - I gotta make my own stock in the future, the low-sodium stuff is eh) Regardless, it was a lot of fun and B seemed to appreciate the effort.

Went a bit crazy on the gelato, but it sure was good. Guaranteed no snacks for the rest of the night!

120 over 88

ADDENDA:
I got my blood-pressure cuff last night. I've measured myself several times, and it's ranged from 117/75 to a high of this morning's 128/89. I know the #s that freaked my doc out was 140 over 100.

From Wikipedia (my italics)

Typical values for a resting, healthy adult human are approximately 120 mmHg systolic and 80 mmHg diastolic (written as 120/80 mmHg, and spoken as "one twenty over eighty"), with large individual variations. These measures of blood pressure are not static, but undergo natural variations from one heartbeat to another and throughout the day (in a circadian rhythm); they also change in response to stress, nutritional factors, drugs, or disease.

Huh. Does this mean my blood pressure is under control? A little high? Still a lot high? Maybe my blood pressure was so high at my doc's because I road my bike there (hard, in the rain)? More from Wikipedia:

Home blood pressure monitoring
Up to 25% of patients diagnosed with hypertension do not suffer from it, but rather from white coat hypertension. Thus, well-performed, accurate home BP monitoring can prevent unnecessary anxiety, as well as costly and potentially dangerous therapy in many millions of people worldwide. Home blood pressure monitoring provides a measurement of a person's blood pressure at different times and in different environments, such as at home and at work, throughout the day. Home blood pressure monitoring may assist in the diagnosis of high or low blood pressure. It may also be used to monitor the effects of medication or lifestyle changes taken to lower or regulate blood pressure levels. Home monitoring of blood pressure is especially useful for patients who suffer from white coat hypertension, where blood pressure levels are elevated in the Physicians office.

I just retook my pressure: 120/88!! I know you can't just say everything is fine from one reading, but initial measurements suggest my blood pressure is just a little high, not oh-my-god-Stroke-is-imminent high. This is interesting. I will continue to montitor my bloodpressure through the next few days to see if there are any patterns or exceptions.

BREAKFAST: 8:30am, oatmeal with a little honey, butter and salt, hunger 4/5.
Only a teaspoon of butter, but it gave the oatmeal such a more satisfying flavor and mouth feel.

AM SNACK: 10:15am, mint, 16 oz still water.

LUNCH: Noon, fresh turkey on whole wheat with swiss, LT&O, mustand, bag of sunchips, small amount of water, hunger 4/5
Rather then go pile drive a pizza or a brick of chinese food, I think I'll hold off till I'm more certain about my health. Seeing Ilsa (with B) tonight, a good time to reevaluate.

PM SNACK: 3:30pm, 6 linden cookies, 24 oz still water, hunger 4/5
Again, hungry and desiring sweets. BP right after cookies: 117/81, hmmm. Is this thing working right? That's slightly LOW. Maybe I should have a doc's appt sooner and calibrate my monitor vs. his wall-mounted blood pressure-oscope.

ADDENDA: 4pm. Small headache from the cookies. BP 130/88. Hmmmmm....

DINNER: 7:45pm. 5/8s of a pizza with onions and mushrooms, half a large green salad (with one olive), one roll with olive oil.
What a better way to eat after a meeting with a nutritionist than to indulge in that which one should not. The meeting didn't really go into food as much as B & I's relationship, touching on how we relate through food - we eat very differently. B eats a little too much like a girl, and I think Ilsa may be implying I eat a little too much like a boy. Maybe our goal should be to eat a little more gender-neutrally!

Kinda wanted pepperoni on the pizza and to eat all the olives, but it would of tripled my sodium intake for the day.

PM SNACK: 9pm, 2 scoops of milk chocolate gelato, hunger 3/5
Got a lot of good healthy stuff from Whole Foods on the way home....and this. He he. What's pizza w/o ice cream? B only had a spoonful. (Ooo, should I be writing about B's eating? Does that make me a snitch? God knows I don't to help her be insecure about what she eats!)

Beef Cheek Hangover

BREAKFAST: 8:30am, 3/4 of a toasted sesame bagel with good butter, a pint of lime perrier, hunger 2/5
Got to bed 1ish, had good sleep despite being full of organ meets and freddos. Not hungry, but wanted to start the week off on the right foot.

AM SNACK: 10:30am, 24 oz of still water.

LUNCH: 1:30pm, Indian combo, saag paneer, chickpea curry, yellow lentils, basmanti rice, a little yogurts sauce, a small bit of raw onion, plus a chocolate icecream cone, hunger 4/5
Tried the paneer to change things up. I was expecting this Indian cheese to be salty, but it wasn't at all, it reminded me of tofu (and according to wikipedia, it IS saltless!) Score!! I just started reading Barbara Kingsolver's "Animal Vegetable Miracle" over this meal, and after reading for 10 minutes, got the vibe I'm in for a treat. I also realized that even though I finished eating 10 minutes ago, I was still hungry. Not very hungry, but the kind of hunger that does not go away by itself. My mouth still hot, had a soothing chocolate cone. I'm happy to report that it wasn't a sugar craving that lead me to it, but more of it's sensory qualities.

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, organic marble pound cake, 24 oz still water, hunger 3/5
Working my way around the organic baked selection downstairs, still too sweet. Regardless, my desire for sweets seem to becoming clearer, overlaid over simple hunger. I was a little hungry.

DINNER: 7pm, sizzling seitan medalions in orange sauce, sticky rice, a couple of vegetable dumplings, a couple basil-mooshu rolls, half a piece of chocolate cake.
Dinner at Zen Palate in Union Square with B and her friend Lisa, after some vegetable shopping in the green market. Mostly vegetarian day, after the organ-meat fiesta of the day before. Betsy was so hungry she got cranky and a bit out of sorts, not very good.

ADDENDA: I didn't have any snacks til bed!!

Stomach in my Stomach (Sunday)

ADDENDA:
I know I loosen up on the food obsession on the weekends, but this was not a normal Sunday - for today was Betsy's bridal shower, and I had no idea of what that entailed, food or otherwise...

BREAKFAST: 10am, 3 pancakes and 3 pieces bacon, hunger 4/5.
Residual hunger from yesterday's ride, good thick sleep. This was my opportunity to make pancakes from scratch for Betsy and her mom, experimented with adding more milk and whipping the eggs in the mixer, they came out fantastic (my horn: toot toot!) Really good vibe to cook for B's mom. When my mom was ill and I was taking care of her, I made pancakes and bacon often, it reminded us of when my dad would cook breakfast.

AM SNACK: 11:30am, medium wedge of watermelon, hunger 3/5.
B and Momma gone, alone. B implied there would be food at the bridal thing, so I resisted eating a full lunch.

PM SNACKS: 2-4pm, a few crustless finger sandwiches, fancy chocolate cookies, a piece of coconut cake, a little mozz & tomato salad, a few bites of a gingerman cookie, a few chocolate pocky, a couple of glasses of seltzer.
When I nervously entered B's cousin's house (Hi Cathy! Hi Janet!), Momma quickly grabbed me by the arm and threw me to the wolves, but not before an impromptu photo session. Someone behind me stuck a gingerbread man cookie in my hand, and not knowing the significance of it, promptly bit it's arm off - I was hungry! A few crustly sandwiches, some yummy cookies, the gourmet fumes of a party well presented. The meet n' greet aspect, like a bike ride, kept my stomach tight n' quiet, fortunately, but the sweets did give me a headache after a bit. I found there was a matching bride-cookie, uneaten - doh! Good thing I didn't eat the head. The paraplegic groom and the well-dressed bride cookie came home with me and B.

On two side notes, I was surprised when Janet told me she was reading this blog. A) I haven't really advertised it, but I keep in public to help me stay honest and B) it's kinda boring, isn't it? But it was really nice talking to her about it and her own diet dilemmas. I told her that I obsess about everything that goes into my mouth here, on my blog, so I don't have to obsess about it at all other times - that never really occurred to me till it popped out of my mouth! And on a second side note, during a conversation with another about the diet this person ate to lose weight, she mentioned something called 'diet bread'. That gave me the heeby-jeebies on a few different levels. Not quite sure why yet, but maybe I'll work it with Ilsa!

LUNCH: 6pm, 3/4 of potato spinach kinish with mustard. 3/4 of a can of diet Sprite.
Not starving, but knew I was going to be hungry soon, and dinner wouldn't be until later. This was the last can of Sprite in the house, couldn't finish it because it just tasted.....thin and chemically bitter under a false sweetness.

DINNER: 9:45pm, (add the adjective 'wonderful to al the following) a few pieces of bread, 2 marinated chickpea bruschetta, a large portion of warm tripe a la parmegiano, a bit of green salad, a fistful of tender cold green and white beans, beef cheek ravioli with truffles and a goose liver reduction, pistachio chocolate semifreddo, 5 little samplings of different sorbets, one glass presseco, lots of water.
This was a meal to remember, to celebrate life with, to bond with and recognize life-long friends. My BFF Tamar took me out to a dinner of my choice to celebrate the end of my bachelorhood, as she originally couldn't make my bachelor party. I was a bit tentative about choosing a restaurant, as Tamar is a strict vegan (she eats no animal products what-so-ever). I love and respect that about her, and enjoy changing up and eating vegan-friendly when I'm out with her, but if given a choice of any restaurant, it'll by default probably involve tasty animals.

So I threw out Babbo, Batali's premier spot, and she scored reservations. I've never been, and had an idea of what to expect judging from his television shows, writings, cook books and interviews I've taken in over the years. I did know I would have to eat stuff I didn't normally go for, and that stuff would not be shared with Tamar. I know Ilsa wants me to expand my palate, but I don't think this is what she had in mind.

Everything was exceptionally fresh and well presented. The waiter was mercifully totally prepared to arrange a menu to suite Tamar's needs, and she was pleased as punch, which made the shared enjoyment of this meal more so. Uhhh, pleasing. The green bean appetiser was cold, but the beans were blanched then iced to a perfect crisp but not fibrous consistency - I gotta dig up the technique in the cook book. I've never eaten tripe, so this was a challenge. The portion was surprisingly large (I guess it's not flying out of the kitchen!) and looked really good, like little strips of a cross between fajita meat and octopus, bathed in a fresh tomato sauce with just a sprinkling of cheese on top. Putting it in my mouth, my first thought was, "Hmmm, tastes like what a zoo's monkey cage smells like!" - very gamy to the point of funk curling up my nose a little. The feel, the bite of the meet was wonderfully moist and just the right amount of springiness. The grilled bread that came with it cut the funk nicely, and before I knew it the plate was gone, and my stomach was full of stomach. Next time I have Chinatown dimsum, I'm definitely gonna join Danny for a selection of tripes (a cow does have 4 stomachs, after all!)

The beef cheek ravioli is as signature Batali dish, so I had it thinking, hey, how weird can a beef ravioli be? Again, gamey. This cut of meat is very flavorful, and how it was prepared with the liver and truffle seemed to accent the gaminess rather than hide it. The pasta wrapper had a nice bite to it that was similar (but somehow better) than the pasta I've made....something to aspire to.

I didn't know what a semifreddo was (why not just go the whole freddo?) but the pistachio chocolate thing (a pistachio mouse with a chocolate shell over a thin chocolate cookie surrounded by a pistachio sauce) was really good, and thankfully not gamy at all. Despite not eating most of the day, I was beyond stuffed and slowly pedalled my way home. Tamar is da bomb. I hope something good happens to her soon, so I can take her (and B) back there soon.

Apple Turnovers from Heaven (Saturday)

ADDENDA:

I woke at 5am to make a 6:20 train to Garrison with my road bike. Off the train at 8, my lungs were burning and my legs were screaming about five minutes later as I pushed my way up the steep grade from river to hilltop. Three miles east lay my parent's gravesite, which I visited and had a good cry and an outloud conversation, saying things I would of taken great pleasure in saying to them if they were here.

Thing is, I did this journey a few weeks before I left for my cross country bikeride - I wanted to attack and climb the hills of the Hudson Valley to get me ready for the climbs of the California mountains and Ozarks. This time I went more to commune with the folks, get my head clear as we come closer to my wedding day.

On the previous ride, I distinctly remember my hunger and what I ate - a slice of pizza outside of Croton-Harmon and a big plate of Chinese food around Irvington. Add to that a huge case of the runs in the public bathroom outside the 1 train in Van Cordlant Park.... This time, my mood was more....serene. The ride went by in a flash, the hills weren't as challenging as I remember (bumps compared to the Ozarks) and what I ate was considerably different....

BREAKFAST #1: 5:30am, toasted bagel with good butter, hunger 2/5. Not hungry, but too early to buy donuts. Even Dunkin' doesn't open till 6am.

BREAKFAST #2: 10am, BLT bagel, bag of linden cookies (lots of water), hunger 3/5. Outside the graveyard at Adams Corner's, me and mom ate snacks here several times when we visited my father. The smell of bacon tempted me. This is the first time having conventional bacon in a while, and I was kinda surprised how much I didn't like it - salty to the point of unpleasantness, it actually interfered with the porky, smokey flavor that makes bacon so good.

AM SNACK: 11:30ish, swig of fizzy water (lots of water). Ilsa gave me a packet of something as an alternative to Emergen-C, which I was hoping to use as a low-sodium replacement for Gatorade. Emergenn-C tasted like pee to me. This stuff tasted like burnt pee. I think I'm going to invent my own sports drink involving fresh citrus and apple juices (from a juicer), honey, water etc. Doesn't this Emergen-C stuff come in a pill?

PM SNACK: 1pm, apple turnover (lots of water), hunger 2/5. I passed through a huge farmers market in Peekskill about 10 miles away from Adams Coerns, but I was still bacon-stuffed. Another 20 miles up and down, I was grinding up the hill in Ossening, I remembered the farmers market there from the previous mountain bike ride, but I just was not hungry. As I squeaked past the turnoff, the idea of CIDER DONUTS raced through my mind, and I immediately turned back and shot down the hill. The donut peeps were there, but this time I had a big apple turnover.

Oh man. Growing up, I loved them hostess apple pies, with the little bits of dehydrated white apple in syrupy apple bath enveloped by a flakey crust. As an adult, I rarely eat these, as they're way too sweet and kinda crappy tasting. This apple turnover was the adult version. The crust was light and flakey, encrusted with granulated sugar but more buttery than sweet. The insides was a dark brown apple mush, equal parts sweet and tart, and overwhelmingly apple-y - absolutely no syrup, and didn't need any. I got a good slow sugar rush, that pushed me back up the hill.

PM SNACK: 4:30pm, large wedge of watermelom, hunger 4/5. Taking the train home from Van Cordlant, I realized I had enough energy to ride all the way home, but not enough time. Had a cliff bar on me, but just wasn't hungry. By the time I got home and relaxed, my stomach loosened and my jaw slackened and down went the watermelon. Yum!

PM SNACK: 5:30pm, 3 graham crackers with organic peanutbutter, hunger 4/5. Ravenous.

DINNER: 7:00pm, large mostly vegetarian Ethiopina meal, hunger 4/5. Ate with B and her mom, whose never had Ethiopian food before. Ordered a weird beef n' kale thing to go along with, my muscles were a little burnt and long-chain proteins like beef help quicken recovery.

PM SNACK: 9pm, cherry italian ice, hunger 3/5. Jonesing for sweets, felt good.

PM SNACK: midnight, one bite of gnochi, small bowl of rice crispies and whole milk, hunger 3/5. Hunger from the day's activity reared up again. Tried making some frozen gnochi, but didn't let the water boil and it became an unappetizing porridge. The small bowl of cereal satisfied me.

Eatin' Like I Mean It

ADDENDA: Summer friday off work, too rainy to ride. Laundry, food shopping, cooking....

BREAKFAST: 10am, pancakes and 4 pieces bacon, a little seltzer, hunger 4/5. Experimented with adding more milk for a thinner pancake, much better. Also, paying attention to WHY this is good, I could taste everything clearly, milk, eggs, flour, the butter it was cooked in. Wolkfing down pancakes from mix, you pay too much attention and you notice the weird industrial flavors....

LUNCH: 1:15pm, whole wheat totinni with pesto and sauted mushrooms, lemon seltzer, hunger 4/5. Went to pathmark for groceries just before, thought to look for lunch too. Felt like pasta, but on Ilsa's advice, thought it best to experiment with whole wheat. Only two brands had whole wheat versions, Barilla had a 'whole wheat blend' which involved plain white flour, eggs and a chemical mix of vitamins. Only Renzi, imported from Italy, was just plain whole wheat semolina, period. Not even water! Made it, not as bad as I remember, still there was a certain iffiness to it's chew. Can try boiling it an extra minute next time.

PM SNACK: 2:15pm, cherry italian ice, hunger 2/5. Craving sugar.

DINNER: 7pm, pork over cold rice noodles, a vegetable dumpling and a piece of grilled eggplant, hunger 4/5. Not enough food.

EVENING SNACK: 9pm, 2 donuts from dunkin' donuts, hunger 4/5. Craving sugar. Hungry. Worried about effecting tomorrow's ride.

Binge-man Vs. Breakfast Zero

BREAKFAST ZERO: Last night I was determined not to eat any sweets or snacks. Ilsa said at some point I'm going to have to sacrifice to see any changes. This french fry ban is fine, but I'm not a big french fry dude. Obviously, my sweets intake is driven by something big.

I felt fine at 10:30 when I got home, though I heard the dulche gelato kind of calling me. I didn't say anything, but it must of been written on my face, because Betsy sweetly asked me to not eat gelato so late at night. Part of me wanted to eat some just so she didn't think I wasn't eating it because she told me not to. But if I ate some, I'd have to write about it here, and how lame is that? So I showered, watched some TV, read more in the food-education book, put myself down around 12:30.....hungry, easily 4/5.

I remembered how when I travelled Europe by backpack, my food intake dropped drastically because of the language barrier, lack of cash and the lack of an open kitchen to graze in late at night in youth hostels. I went to sleep hungry often, because I had no choice. I lost weight. But now, 1:30am and staring at the ceiling, wide awake....I'm of the theory that if you can't sleep, you should get out of bed and do something till you feel like sleeping....but all I wanted to do was eat! Eat gelato.

So I got up to zoom in on the boob tube, and it occured to me. Weekends I can loosen up a bit and indulge. But 5 work days, I have eat in a more goal-oriented way. It's 2 in the morning. Rather than snack, let's do breakfast. Breakfast Zero! Toasted a garlic bagel, slathered it in the good butter. Enjoyed eating it. Clock said 2:12. Still hungry. Want more. This is the begining of a binge, I thought. OK, I will wait 8 minutes, and after those 8 minutes, I'll eat gelato. For the first 2 minutes, my eye kept wandering to the time, but then the TV distracted me and all of a sudden it was 2:30. Huh. Felt sleepy, went to bed. In the battle of binge vs. breakfast zero, zero won. I had a small twinge of pride - I didn't avoid late eating, but I did go waking hours without sweets.

BREAKFAST: 8:30am, large bowl of hot oatmeal and a small banana, small amount of lime seltzer, hunger 3/5. Would of been hungrier, but was groggy and not feeling too hot. The organic oatmeal had no discernable difference than the usual Quaker Oats. I put in a pinch of sea salt and a pinch of evaporated cane suger - noticed it tasted too salty! Need butter and maybe milk next time. Banana was oddly satisfying, maybe my body is in a bit of a sweets-riot mood?

AM SNACK: 10am, 24 oz still water, mint.

LUNCH: 12:30, turkey and swiss on whole wheat, big bag of sunchips, hunger 4/5. At the deli accross the street, the smallest bag od sunchips was the 99cent bag, but the whole bag had 20% daily sodium, which for a pile of chips is low. When I ordered the sandwich, the counter person asked, "fresh turkey?" to which I said yes - it was real baked sliced turkey breast, not a salty pressed mess! It was a little dry and stringy, but tasted pretty salt-free. And only 2 slices of cheese, so what I thought would be a salt-bomb of a lunch was actually pretty reasonable. An hour later in a meeting, I found myself having energy and felt good.

PM SNACK: 5:15pm, 6 lindens cookies, hunger 4.5/5. Feeling very tired, groggy, very hungry, slammed by meeting all day. Almost went for a haagen dazz bar, but thought I should save ice cream for the good gelatto. Lindens are not organic, but at least they're baked in NYS. About 10x more ingredients than the organic cookies, and now that I'm payiing more attention to them, they leave a slightly unpleasant bitter feeling in my mouth after eat them which I don't get from the organic cookie. Hmmm. Wanted this snack because I'm going to Trader Joes after work to pick up something to go with the corn, didn't want to be starving...

DINNER: 8pm, sauted shrimp and mushrooms, sweet corn on the cob, gelatto. Hunger 3/5. Fun cooking raw frozen shrimp from trader joes, in a simple preparation of butter, garlic, lime juice and tabasco (and a dash of sea salt) - for some reason I never ooked shrimp, it was surprisingly easy, encouraged by the instructions on the bag. I want to learn how to peel and devein myuself, so I can get frsh from chinatown. The sweet corn from the farmers market was horrible, not sweet and a little gummy. Gelatto ruled as usual.

Soy 'Milk' is gross.

ADDENDA: Wore my il lab T-shirt to work today. Lordy, thats some good stuff. Ten pint tops get a free t-shirt. We're working on one for Betsy right now. Sorry, Ilsa.

BREAKFAST: 8:30am, bowl of cornflakes with unsweetened soy milk, hunger 3/5. Even though I got the good milk yesterday, I forgot about the oatmeal, and now that I think about it, some bananas would rock a breakfast, too, and maybe help with the sweets thing. I still have this unsweetened soy milk in stock, and it would feel dumb to throw it away, so I had it with the cereal. It's kinda like slightly chalky water, now that I really focus on what it tastes like, and especially after eating cereal with the good milk last week.

AM SNACK: 10am, 24 oz still water, mint, hunger 3/5. Hot out. My breakfast wasn't big enough. I think that's a constant problem. Maybe I should have a second breakfast, like I have multiple lunches? Maybe something I can regularly pack?

LUNCH: Noon, falafel 'platter', shrimp & rice platter, hunger 4/5. Went out for falafel, felt like I needed something more substantial than just a sandwich. Got the so-called platter, which was just the sandwich packaged in it's individual components, with a little more lettuce. Walking back, saw the good lamb cart, got their nicely spiced shrimp with veg and basmanti, brought it back to the office. Now feel really full, in a good way. As I was walking between the carts, I thought about what I craved specifically....not sweets, it was a craving but also a stomach-clenched hunger....I craved carbs! Rice, potatoes, pasta, heavy starch. Weird, never thought of it that way. Maybe because I skipped out on a heavy starch last night?

PM SNACK: 2:30pm, organic chocolate chip cookie, 24 oz still water. hunger 2/5. Big lunch is sitting in my stomach nicely, but the cravings for sugar came on strong. These mad moose products are too sweet, which is odd, as they are not fat-free or something dumb like that. Like the person who formulated the recipe wasn't confident that the quality of their ingredients wouldn't shine, so they've decided to mask it by knocking you out with sweetness. About 30 minutes after this cookie, got a headache...

DINNER: 7:15pm, large cold sesame noodles, large spinach salad, hunger 4/5. Quick dinner at Dojo before the movie. The carrot ginger dressing tasted salty, used it sparingly. Ordered a big mass of noodles on purpose, see how it would make me feel, how it would satiate me. Well, I felt fine through dinner and when I went to Whole Foods on the way home to pick up oatmeal and bananas, I didn't feel like buyinig any sweets.

Sweets Memory

ADDENDA:

Over the ice cream cone after lunch #2 today, I was thinking about my sweet tooth, which impresses Ilsa so strongly. Part of it is physiological, undoubtedly, but part of it is emotional, going back to the gooey Parental memories. I only have really strongly positive and really strongly negative memories when it comes to sweets. I remember going to Clove Lake Park with my mom and brother when I was a little kid and she got us soft-serve ice cream cones. I remember mine was a swirl of chocolate and vanilla, and absolutely huge, as big as my head, and I ate every bite. Another was again with my mom and brother, outside of a shopping strip, and a woman was giving out free samples of Twix, which was a new candy bar then. I remember sitting in the car with my mom and brother, eating those small candy bars, wishing I had another but really enjoying it - a candy bar not only with the approval of my mom, but actually eating one with her.

I guess those are really the only two purely positive memories of sweets. Most of my memories involve sneaking cookies and brownies from the cupboard, and hoping my parents wouldn't find out. And I remember finding my dad's stash of candy and chocolate in his office at the top of our house - it had the same excitement as finding a stash of porn (but that's a conversation for a different kind of blog, he he). He too had a massive sweet tooth that my mom didn't approve of or indulge. My dad had vague memories of the sweet shops of his childhood in Vienna, which are famous for all sorts of cream cakes and tarts. I snuck candy (sno-caps: my first encounter with dark chocolate!) from my dad's shelf. Chocolate, sweets craving, love, guilt, all mixed in a sloppy stew.

BREAKFAST: 8:30am, toasted sesame bagel with hummus, hunger 4/5. Woke up hungry, thought about making the last of the bacon but felt lazy. Wanted something heavy, realized I was out of oatmeal. Wah! Mmmm, oatmeal with butter n' bacon!!

AM SNACK: 11am, 24 oz water, mint, hunger 3/5. How is an altoid any different than a lifesaver, really? They're like the rounds left over from making the holes in the lifesavers.

LUNCH #1: 12:15pm, large green salad n' dressing, hunger 4/5. Brought in from home

LUNCH #2: 1:15pm, lamb pita and a chocolate cone, hunger 4/5. From my favorite cart on 45th and 6th, where the chef used to cook at the Russian Tea Room. I was paying attention to it's flavor - it tastes VERY strong and full bodied and, uh, tasty, but only tastes a little salty. Does this mean it has only a little salt in it, or was it the hand of skilled chef who used a large amount of salt appropriately?

PM SNACK: 4:45, samosa chat, hunger 4/5. After making plans to go to Whole Food to pick up groceries and make a healthy fun dinner for me & B, I realized it would be almost 4 hours till then, so I went out looking for something more than a snack, less than a meal. First thing that popped into my mind was PIZZA, but then I thought I should save the indulgence for salty 'za when the 'za is something special, not just to get me through the day. The second thought was FRIES, from McDonalds, very convenient if not a little evil, then I remembered fries have been sacrificed. So I went by the Indian joint on 46th, usually packed out with people, nice and empty - so I ordered something from the kitchen instead of the trays. Two fried potato samosa with chickpeas in a weird white sweetish and red vinegar sauce. Still felt hungry after eating it, thought of more ice cream or a cookie. Ten minutes later, it passed.

DINNER: 7:45pm, breaded sea scallops with bacon, steamed asparagus, corn on the cob, small bowl gelato, hunger 4/5. Went a-shoppin' at Whole Foods and got asparagus, and sweet corn too as a backup incase it wasn't good. Found simple directions online, steamed the aspargus for 10 minutes. The first few spears were ok to good, but I noticed they got mushier as they sat on the plate - AH, that's why they give this kind of stuff an ice bath on TV! The corn is in season and amazing, I could eat it everyday. I think I just might try that....corn n' mints all day long....I found a recipe for baked sea scallops on line, which involved an egg and bacon - two ingredients I had. Made the bread crumbs in the blender with a roll, they came out really good, a lot of fun to make. No salt in the recipe, other than what came off the lower-sodium bacon.

EVENING SNACK: 10pm, small bowl gelator, hunger 3/5. I wasn't in the mood for sweet right after dinner, but Betsy HAD to have some, so I ate along with her. A few hours later, I was in the mood. Dulche de Leche flavor, oh my.

EVENING SNACK: 11pm, small amount of saltless pretzels, hunger 2/5. Why did I eat this? I was feeling restless....

Minted Monday

ADDENDA: Went by the local greenmarket yesterday afternoon, it was looking a bit anemic, and the lone veg seller had a small, wilty selection. Will try to stop by the world-renowned Union Square green market on the way home for a full salad. I hear they have meats n' other good stuff, too....

BREAKFAST: 8am, one altoids mint, hunger 1/5. Last night's mac n' cheese attack was weighing on me this morning. I wonder how long I can go on mints before needing real food....

AM SNACK: 10am, another mint, hunger 3/5. A little hungry, but bizzy with work. Ah, Ilsa will be thrilled with this nutritional experiment....

LUNCH: 12:45pm, megasoy burritto with black beans, chips and salsa, mint & 24 oz still water. hunger 4/5. Haven't been back to Burrittoville since starting to think about my diet more. I thought it would be much saltier than it was, oddly enough. Eating the corn chips, I started to feel a bit guilty - these are really the equivalent of french fries, aren't they? Was tempted to get an organic cookie when coming into the building, but thought I'd have a mint now, and go for a sweet when I REALLY craved it this afternoon. Got a VERY slight headache after, but I think it's because I haven't been drinking (mint and water eaten after walk back to office)

PM SNACK: 3:30pm, organic chocolate brownie, 24 oz still water, hunger 3/5. Too sweet, this 'Mad Moose' brownie is front loaded with sugar and too light on the dark chocolate. Funny, I'm jonesing for sugar but when I eat this thing, it's too sweet. I bet I can make a much better all-organic brownie....

PM SNACK: 6:30pm. Small handful of saltless pretzels from the green market, hunger 4/5.

DINNER: 7:30pm, large green salad and italian dressing, 2 ears sweet corn with salt, butter, grated cheese, bowl of left over mac n' cheese. Hunger 4/5. We went to the green market in Union Square and bought the ingredients for a glorious salad, wow, it tasted good. The jersey corn tasted like it was injected with sugar, so good and fresh. Unfortunately, it was not enough and I finished last night's mac n' cheese, which again tasted salty.

EVENING SNACK: 9pm. saltless pretzels and peanutbutter, hunger 4/5. Good thing that chocolate wasn't here, or it would of been gone. This snack was Betsy's suggestion, and it did the trick. Got a good night sleep after. No serious sweets!