BREAKFAST: 10am, good yogurt with nuts, honey, vanilla, hunger 4/5
LUNCH: 1:30pm, sweet sausage torteloni and 3-cheese tortellini with homemade tomato sauce, grated parm, large glass of water, 1 oz dark chocolate, hunger 4/5
PM SNACK: 6:30pm, handful of baby carrots with peanut butter, hunger 4/5
PM SNACK: 7pm, handful of tortilla chips with fresh salsa, hunger 4/5
DINNER: 9pm, brick o' Chinese, hunger 3/5
Thought I was hungrier than I was, but finished the brick anyway. What's going on here?
Saturday, December 15
Friday, December 14
Not the book to read when feeling down
ADDENDA:Going to movies/dinner tonight with peeps, so I took the bus to work this morning, finally getting back into "The Omnivore's Dilemma" after a pause. Great book, but not a happy read. Reading about the wet-milling of corn to make those 20 extra ingredients that appear on the label of a processed food. The industrial food complex just seems so....inescapable. But as they say, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, so I better move on and finish book, hopefully it proffers a sunny side!
BREAKFAST: 8am, 4 pancakes, 6 strips of bacon, hunger 4/5
Sleeping 10 hours and no sweets the day before will do this to you. The bacon is the organic nitrite-free kind from the farmer's market. Amazing how much tastier and, ummm, baconier it is than the stuff I got served in Vegas.
AM WATERING: 9:45am, 24 oz still
BP: 10:15am, 130/84
LUNCH: 1pm, chickpeas, black lentils, saag paneer, rice, naan, yogurt sauce, raw onion, hunger 4/5
Kept reading over lunch, it just gets scarier. Now he's recounting the history of the 'super-sized' meal, and our evolved predilection not to eat till we're full, but to eat as much as possible to get ready for the lean times that don't come anymore.
PM WATERING: 3:30pm, 24 oz still
PM DRUGGING: 3:30pm, 2 extra strength tylenol
Feel a little parched, headachey, almost a pre-fever state. Thought the sleep last night would knock out whatever was up, but I guess I better take it easy this weekend. If I get sick, it's all Sumner Redstone's fault!
PM SNACK: 6:15pm, 1 saltless wholewheat pretzel, half bag of salty popcorn, hunger 4/5
At da movies
DINNER: 9pm, pasta with pesto, few bites of wild boar lasagne, chickpea pancake thing, few bites of duck salami, 1 glass presecco, water, hunger 4/5
Nice dinner with B & Danny in Hell's Kitchen. Good upbeat way to close down an otherwise crappy week, due to work.
EVENING SNACK: 11:15pm, salad, 2 slices cheeseless mushroom pizza, hunger 4/5
Still hungry. Kinda craving sugar, but the chocolate in the cupboard will keep me up. Ate these left overs, very satisfying.
Thursday, December 13
In Need of a Sweet Methadone
ADDENDA:Why did I eat that brownie last night? I don't ask that because I feel guilty (I don't), it's just that I'm trying to understand my behavior. I had a relatively healthful meal out that I enjoyed with my B, then we went to the movies at the Anjelika. I was still a little hungry, as barely 20 minutes passed between finishing the meal and sitting down for the movie. However, my sugar-cravings came back as hard as they ever were. B was buying coffee, so I said fuck it, and got a big ol' brownie with a choco-peanut butter frosting.
The frosting tasted kinda fakey and not horrendously fresh. The brownie itself was too cakey to be really decadent. Even as I was eating it, I was thinking, "Eh." However, the blood lust I had for sweet pretty much dissipated after the 2nd bite, allowing me to focus on the flick, until maybe 5 minutes later I realized I had a small emerging headache and a stomach that felt like I just drank a shot of liquid latex. Very odd.
This morning I was thinking about how I much I would of rather not of felt crappy because of a sweet I didn't enjoy. Heroin addicts take their methadone to curb their cravings, maybe I need a methadone for sweets. Maybe carry packets of brown sugar around, and just down it when the cravings attack and there are no top-shelf sweets available? Then I remembered - I've been carrying these spearmint mints around with me for months in my bag for that very purpose, bu I forgot about them! Doh!
Advice to all the lovers of the world: If you're gonna get all kissy on your husband or wife, don't let coffee and stinky cheese be the last 2 things you ate. I'm just sayin'.
BREAKFAST: 8:30am, organic corn flakes & good milk, small banana, hunger 3/5
AM WATERING: 9:45am, 24 oz still
BP: 10am, 134/94
Do have that pre-headachey feeling. Maybe just thinking about that brownie last night is doing it to me.
AM SNACK: 11:30am, baggie of saltless shelled cashews, hunger 4/5
LUNCH: 12:45pm, sesame tofu, small container of baby carrots, hunger 4/5
Got the tofu from wholefoods the other day, good but my serving has 860mg of sodium, about 1/3 of the USDA recommendation. Didn't TASTE salty, but I know that doesn't mean much. I guess this means this is 3 days straight of taking lunch to work, but it's only because I knew I'd be eating out last night and tonight....and come to think of it, tomorrow night. I think limiting myself to a maximum of 1 non-homemade meal a day is a good rule. Then again, how is a container of salty fried tofu from Wholefoods really "homemade"? Hmmmm....
PM WATERING: 3pm, 24 oz still
PM SNACK: 3pm, 3 saltless whole wheat pretzels, hunger 3/5
PM SNACK: 4:45pm, large organic fuji apple, piece of funky cheese, hunger 3/5
Feel tired. Gonna go home and cook instead of going out to an openning with a friend. Betsy won't be home for dinner so I can cater just to my taste...
DINNER: 6:30pm. half a cheeseless mushroom pizza, large quantity of green salad with too many olives in it, water, hunger 4/5
Seems the HVS had some free time before yoga, so we supped before I went home at Patsy's. The pizza was good, the lack of cheese made me focus more on the two other main ingredients - the sauce was a bit too sweet and the crust lacked snap in the middle - the lack of cheesy grease should of allowed to to get firmer.
Watched TV for a bit, but fell asleep so I put myself to bed around 9. Was craving sugar during TV but was too tired to motivate. I think I'm still a bit depressed about work, even though a lot of what was happening is now moot, I just feel a little bit dissed and disrespected. I know I shouldn't act emotionally to the actions of a soulless, faceless corporation, but I just can't shake the feeling I'm selling myself short by staying there indefinitely. Come next month after the holiday madness, I'm going start properly looking for new work to advance the goal of creating a stable financial base to raise a family AND a position where I can advance.
Wednesday, December 12
Adventures in Creme Fraiche & the Dopey Delicacies of my Mom
ADDENDA:
I never liked sour cream much. I remember when I was really small, I believe my mom made a really lame rendition of matzohbrie, and she served it with sour cream. I refused to eat it, and she said that sour cream was a delicacy, that I was foolish not to eat it. By delicacy I thought she meant rare and very expensive. Years later, in my teens, I saw that sour cream was neither rare nor that expensive, and the seeds for years of parental-challenging eating were planted.
Last night as I was shopping for ingredients for latkes, I almost couldn't find matzoh meal - I thought, my god, am I such a bad Jew that I shop at supermarkets that don't have such a soulful staple? At Wholefoods it wasn't in the baking aisle, but segregated with the Semitic foodstuffs like jarred gefilte fish and beety horseradish. I went to the dairy case to find creme fraiche - and found a variety of expensive organic sour creams but none of the French stuff. I eventually stumbled onto it in the cheese section, along with the more unusual, pricey imported cheeses. Now THIS is rare and expensive!
The latkes came out good, but I have ideas how to make them better next time. However, the creme fraiche....was a delicious delicacy. Though I've had it served to me before, I never quite knew what it was or paid it much mind. When I saw this latke recipe, I first thought it was pretentious language for fresh whipped cream. It's actually a mildly cultured heavy cream, somewhere between sour cream and mild yogurt, but much more buttery & creamy tasting. Eating it with my latkes was a revelation. I wish my mom was around so I could both share this 'delicacy' with her, at the same time nervily rebutting her assertion that sour cream was somehow something to be held as dear. Maybe she was right, but the arguing of such a silly matter would of brought us both a lot of giggles. And I could hear her enjoying it, but complaining about how expensive it was for such a tiny little tub...
On a lighter note, my employer just caved in on a few key points, things may turn out OK yet.
BREAKFAST: 8am, good yogurt with honey, vanilla, raw cashews, hunger 3/5
AM WATERING: 9:45am, 24 oz still
BP: 10am, 131/88
PM SNACK: 12pm, bag of unsalted shelled pistachios, hunger 4/5
Donated about 1/4 of the bag to the HVS holiday drive.
LUNCH: 1pm, leftover lamb sausage and latkes, creme fraiche, hunger 4/5
The microwave was very unkind to this meal. Still, yummy.
PM SNACK: 4pm, big crunchy fuji apple and a small piece of apenthaller funk-cheese, hunger 4/5
Quite good.
DINNER: 6:15pm, hijiki tofu patty on wholewheat pita, large spinach salad with carrot dressing, small plate of cold sesame noodles, water, hunger 4/5
Quick dinner before the movies at Dojo.
EVENING SNACK: 7pm, large peanut-butter brownie, hunger 4/5
Oy, what a mistake. Killed my cravings, but I immediately felt a little physically yucky.
I never liked sour cream much. I remember when I was really small, I believe my mom made a really lame rendition of matzohbrie, and she served it with sour cream. I refused to eat it, and she said that sour cream was a delicacy, that I was foolish not to eat it. By delicacy I thought she meant rare and very expensive. Years later, in my teens, I saw that sour cream was neither rare nor that expensive, and the seeds for years of parental-challenging eating were planted.
Last night as I was shopping for ingredients for latkes, I almost couldn't find matzoh meal - I thought, my god, am I such a bad Jew that I shop at supermarkets that don't have such a soulful staple? At Wholefoods it wasn't in the baking aisle, but segregated with the Semitic foodstuffs like jarred gefilte fish and beety horseradish. I went to the dairy case to find creme fraiche - and found a variety of expensive organic sour creams but none of the French stuff. I eventually stumbled onto it in the cheese section, along with the more unusual, pricey imported cheeses. Now THIS is rare and expensive!
The latkes came out good, but I have ideas how to make them better next time. However, the creme fraiche....was a delicious delicacy. Though I've had it served to me before, I never quite knew what it was or paid it much mind. When I saw this latke recipe, I first thought it was pretentious language for fresh whipped cream. It's actually a mildly cultured heavy cream, somewhere between sour cream and mild yogurt, but much more buttery & creamy tasting. Eating it with my latkes was a revelation. I wish my mom was around so I could both share this 'delicacy' with her, at the same time nervily rebutting her assertion that sour cream was somehow something to be held as dear. Maybe she was right, but the arguing of such a silly matter would of brought us both a lot of giggles. And I could hear her enjoying it, but complaining about how expensive it was for such a tiny little tub...
On a lighter note, my employer just caved in on a few key points, things may turn out OK yet.
BREAKFAST: 8am, good yogurt with honey, vanilla, raw cashews, hunger 3/5
AM WATERING: 9:45am, 24 oz still
BP: 10am, 131/88
PM SNACK: 12pm, bag of unsalted shelled pistachios, hunger 4/5
Donated about 1/4 of the bag to the HVS holiday drive.
LUNCH: 1pm, leftover lamb sausage and latkes, creme fraiche, hunger 4/5
The microwave was very unkind to this meal. Still, yummy.
PM SNACK: 4pm, big crunchy fuji apple and a small piece of apenthaller funk-cheese, hunger 4/5
Quite good.
DINNER: 6:15pm, hijiki tofu patty on wholewheat pita, large spinach salad with carrot dressing, small plate of cold sesame noodles, water, hunger 4/5
Quick dinner before the movies at Dojo.
EVENING SNACK: 7pm, large peanut-butter brownie, hunger 4/5
Oy, what a mistake. Killed my cravings, but I immediately felt a little physically yucky.
Tuesday, December 11
Feel like la-la-la-latkes tonite!
ADDENDA:Not surprised my BP is a little high this morning, feel a slight headache, know I haven't been eating as well as I normally do lately. Today is the day to snap back. Started with a good breakfast, packed a lunch even the HVS would approve of (minus the raw goat's milk cheese to compliment the apple), and tonight I'm going to hit up the market for supplies then attempt a latke recipe out of Saveur magazine.
My grandmother made latkes, but my mom never did. The recipe in the mag is surprising straight forward - grated potato and onion, matzo meal, egg, chive, salt and pepper and oil. They do, however, get all fancy pants and suggest alternates to apple sauce or sour cream, like creme fraiche...hmmmm. I kinda feel like I'm in the experimental stages of creating a new tradition, so when my kid/kids come along, I'll already have something yummy up my sleeve to pop on them.
Just received the Global sharpening steel in the mail today, I feel like a kid with a new toy - I can't wait to hone my blades tonight before chopping something!
My recent stress at work has been getting a lot of news coverage lately. Though it's hitting the papers now, I feel for the most part it's over, at least for me.
BREAKFAST: 8am, organic wholegrain chex with good milk, 1 small banana, hunger 4/5
AM WATERING: 10:15am, 24 oz still
BP: 11am, 132/96
LUNCH: 1pm, superhippy peanutbutter sammich, baby carrots with homemade hummus, hunger 4/5
PM SNACK: 4pm, apple and a small amount of funky cheese, hunger 4/5
I think my funky cheese turned or something. Oh well.
PM SNACK: 5pm, Roberts Smart Puffs, hunger 4/5
Very hungry, don't want to go nuts as it'll take an hour or so to make dinner once I get home. Craving sugar, cookies looked good, but damn, after eating crappy for the last 4-5 days, I gotta focus on making sweet-free days not so special!
PM SNACK: 6:30pm, unsalted pistachios in shell, hunger 4/5
Picked these up as a potential interesting daytime snack, but felt too hungry to start cooking without a handful of something.
DINNER: 7:30pm, curry lamb sausage with mushrooms, homemade potato latkes with creme fraiche, seltzer, hunger 4/5
Oh my. This came out good. I thought I used a lot of salt, as the preparation called for salting the shredded potatoes and onion over a sieve to sweat out the liquid. I guess salt got sweated out too, because the final product was not salty at all - I imagine some might even call it bordering on bland (but was just right for me!) Couldn't find chives at the market, next time if I can't I'll go nuts with some scallion, that might excite the flavor profile.
EVENING SNACK: 9:30pm, 1.5 oz chunk of Sharfen Berger 70% dark chocolate, hunger 3/5
Betsy snarfed those horrid soy ice cream sandwiches right after dinner, I couldn't be bothered. However, after an hour I started craving sugar and by 9:30 the drums were so loud in my ears. I went to into the kitchen, thinking, "Good! I know there is no sweets here so I'll be able to resist!" Unfortunately, on the top shelf there was a high-quality piece of cooking chocolate, left over from my gelato-making. I only ate 1/3 of it, and for the next 30 minutes I craved more, but it passed.
I was surprised - I had a very satisfying, heavy meal for dinner. Maybe it was because of the potato factor?
Monday, December 10
I feel like crap
ADDENDA:
Woke up nauseous and tired, combination of jet leg and the late-night Indian food. Lolling around on the computer this morning, some interesting developments at work. On top of that, have 2 work-related holiday parties I'm not looking forward to...
AM WATERING: 9:30am, 24 oz still
BP: 9:45 am, 133/92
LUNCH: 1:30pm, curry pork with rice & cabbage, small miso soup, 3 pork dumplings, water, hunger 3/5
Stomach still feeling weird but head is clear, must be jet lag. Nice catching up with Erikka, it's like when I'm socializing over food, it actually makes the food more appetizing.
PM SNACKS: 7-9pm, 1/2 weird sweet mixed drink, 3 bottles beer, small amount of assorted snackies including mini-empinadas, small piece of cubano sandwich, meat n' potato ball, a few garlicky shrimp, hunger 3/5
Attended a few work parties downtown, was a lot more fun than I thought it would be, as despite the corporate shenanigans, I actually like most of the people I work with - some I'd even hang out with if I didn't happen to spend almost more time with than I do with my wife.
DINNER: 10pm, vegan garden burger on sprouted wheat bread with mustard, 2 small soy ice cream sandwiches, hunger 3/5
Got home, felt snacky but not hungry. A little buzzed but not really. B had done a little food shopping, so I ate of her harvest. The burger was bland and gooey (though the bread I got last week was really good, a nice light-weight counterpoint to superhippy bread). If the soy ice cream crap wasn't there, I would of been sweet-free today....and they tasted awfully fake, reeking of artificial vanilla and an oily mouth feel.
Woke up nauseous and tired, combination of jet leg and the late-night Indian food. Lolling around on the computer this morning, some interesting developments at work. On top of that, have 2 work-related holiday parties I'm not looking forward to...
AM WATERING: 9:30am, 24 oz still
BP: 9:45 am, 133/92
LUNCH: 1:30pm, curry pork with rice & cabbage, small miso soup, 3 pork dumplings, water, hunger 3/5
Stomach still feeling weird but head is clear, must be jet lag. Nice catching up with Erikka, it's like when I'm socializing over food, it actually makes the food more appetizing.
PM SNACKS: 7-9pm, 1/2 weird sweet mixed drink, 3 bottles beer, small amount of assorted snackies including mini-empinadas, small piece of cubano sandwich, meat n' potato ball, a few garlicky shrimp, hunger 3/5
Attended a few work parties downtown, was a lot more fun than I thought it would be, as despite the corporate shenanigans, I actually like most of the people I work with - some I'd even hang out with if I didn't happen to spend almost more time with than I do with my wife.
DINNER: 10pm, vegan garden burger on sprouted wheat bread with mustard, 2 small soy ice cream sandwiches, hunger 3/5
Got home, felt snacky but not hungry. A little buzzed but not really. B had done a little food shopping, so I ate of her harvest. The burger was bland and gooey (though the bread I got last week was really good, a nice light-weight counterpoint to superhippy bread). If the soy ice cream crap wasn't there, I would of been sweet-free today....and they tasted awfully fake, reeking of artificial vanilla and an oily mouth feel.
Sunday, December 9
Lost in Las Vegas
ADDENDA:Las Vegas was a lot to take in by itself, meeting my buffet-crazed father-in-law made for an interesting overlay. We managed to wrangle him into a nice eatery, the San Marco at the Venetian, the Las Vegas Batali outpost. Note in the picture our next-table neighbors with the hats. Them cowboy hats were everywhere. Also note that it was not actually al-fresco dining, but a not-that-amazing simulation in a large vaulted room with the ceiling painted like the sky, with the walls to give the impression we were in Venice...if Venice were packed with cowboys and branches of NYC restaurants...
Friday
BREAKFAST: 9am, 1 pancake, 1 cheese blintz, potatoes, 1 apple crepe, bacon, biscuit w/sausage gravy, smoked salmon, banana, small donut, water, hunger 4/5
The buffet at our hotel was pretty horrible food, and such large portions. The bacon was incredibly salty, and the sausage gravy tasted like someone dumped a whole shaker of salt in it by accident.
PM SNACK: 1pm, half a G&T, hunger 2/5
At the MGM Grand, my father-in-law advised that if we looked like we were gambling at the slots, we could order $1 drinks instead of $5 at the bar. So I toodled away the first gambled dollar of my life as we waited to place an order.
PM SNACK: 2pm, bite of crappy everything pretzel, hunger 3/5
At the 'New York, New York' casino. If they tried to serve this pretzel on the street in NYC....well, I guess tourists will eat anything, he he. I was tempted to get a slice of 'NY style pizza' there, but LOOK at it! My god, man!!
PM SNACK: 4pm, crappy chocolate gelato, hunger 3/5
The Bellagio is trying to be all hoity-toity, but the gelato in my neighborhood totally trumps that gooey crap.
DINNER: 7pm, chips, guac, salsa, shrimp with rice & refried beans, water, hunger 4/5
Crappy Mexican back at the hotel, me and B were happy with how the way went but too exhausted to go out to hunt a proper meal. The 'fancy' option in the hotel was Bennihanna....
Saturday
BREAKFAST: 7am, waffle & bacon, water, hunger 4/5
Room service, same crappy food at 10x the price.
LUNCH: 12:30pm, bread, prosciutto, zucinni flowers, small slice of goat cheese pizza, veal & ricotta meatballs w/ polenta, chocolate malt gelato, water, hunger 4/5
At the San Marco at the Venetian. Really yummy, as good as anything in NYC. The pizza was Batali-style, which I don't like that much, but interesting.
DINNER: 6pm, 1 sip of wine, shrimp cocktail, fried shrimp, eggroll, California rolls, carrots & cucumber, 3 bites of prime rib & stuffing, 1 small bite scary pizza, chocolate ice cream with choc syrup, hunger 3/5
Final crack at the buffet, wasn't very hungry but it was all about the company, not the food. However, the small bite of the buffet pizza was perhaps the worst ever...
Sunday
BREAKFAST: 7am, waffle, bacon, potatoes, water, hunger 4/5
In the diner at the hotel, getting ready to go, saying good byes.
AM SNACK: 11am, small Pizza Hut pepperoni pizza, hunger 4/5
The flight had no meal service, so this was the least evil of options near the gate. Pizza Hut pizza is very....greasy.
PM SNACK: 2pm-1pmish, airline cheesy crackers, airline cookies, good saltless wholewheat pretzels, small apple juice, hunger 4/5
DINNER: 10:30pm, chana sag with basmanti, pakoras, nan, seltzer, hunger 4/5
Starving when I got home. Ordered cheap Indian food from the hood, very satisfying.
Wednesday, December 5
Off to Las Vegas
ADDENDA:I passed the fresh scene of this accident on the way to work yesterday. It's my normal bike route, and the cops rerouted me off the bike lane into traffic to avoid it. I saw the red pick up track, the ownerless bike propped against the truck, and the panel truck parked in my lane 20 feet ahead. Sad.
I'm leaving straight from work early to catch a flight to Vegas with B, to meet my father-in-law for the first time, to peep the Hoover Dam, and totally go crazy on an all-u-can-eat all-pork buffet (Ilsa, I'm kidding!!....about the all-pork part, at least)....
BREAKFAST: 7:30am, toasted onion bagel with good butter, banana, hunger 3/5
Thinking of the crap I'll be eating this weekend, tossed in a banana for good measure.
AM WATERING: 9:40am, 24 oz still
BP: 9:45am, 130/78
NOON SNACK: noon (duh), nice crisp apple with a little funky-ass cheese, hunger 4/5
PM WATERING: 12:45pm, 24 oz still
PM SNACK: 1pm, 2 oz bag of fritos, hunger 4/5
Kinda regretted this as I was eating it, as these are easily available in an airport, but I just feeling like eating something different.
LUNCH: 1:30pm, 3 potato samosas, brown rice w/ curry sauce, cold pumpkin noodles & sesame tofu, hunger 4/5
A mostly organic, mostly vegan food bar, something I won't be seeing in Vegas...
PM SNACK: 2:15pm, 1 dark chocolate gelt, hunger 3/5
The HVS gave me 2, but after eating one, remembered that Hanukkah gelt are usually poor-quality chocolate. Usually they are milk chocolate, so this was a step up, up still a little crumbly in the mouth. I'm sure B will gobble the other one up on the flight...
DINNER: 6:30pm, fish & chips, water, hunger 4/5
Crappy food in the airport.
EVENING SNACK: 8pm, shortbread & dark chocolate, seltzer, water, hunger 4/5
Snacking on the airplane.
Bolweevils of the Soul
ADDENDA:
Funny how less than a week ago I was pretty content in how my professional life was going, and now I'm weighing the advantages of leaving before I find another job, once the corporate bureaucracy allows me to negotiate for myself. It's really starting to effect my appetite, I just hope I don't get discouraged then binge when the hunger jumps up and bites me on the ass.
I am thankful that the depression I'm experiencing has a very definable outside stimulus and is not some free floating angst that makes me want to write bad poetry, like...
AM WATERING: 9:30am, 24 oz still
BP: 9:45am, 126/88
PM SNACK: 1:45pm, a few bites of curry tofu & rice, hunger 4 to 2/5
Has not aged well in the fridge, too spicy, almost bitter. Appetite was there, but then left me. Have an interesting meeting in a few minutes.
PM SNACK: 4:15pm, the insides of a falafel sandwich, hunger 4/5
Hungry, but not hungry. Didn't find the wholewheat pita appetizing, though there was nothing wrong with .
Meeting went well. Negotiated enough to stay here through January and not feel stupid, though we'll see how it goes in January.
DINNER: 7pm, a little more than half of a Margherita DOC for Isabella's Oven, baby carrots and homemade hummus, hunger 4/5
Paid extra attention to this pizza, as haven't had a fancy restaurant pie in a wild. The the crust was better than the stuff I get at wholefoods, nicely textured and chewy, a little limp but that's probably from steaming in a cardboard box for 10 minutes. The little pools of bufala moz was great, just the right minimal amount but the sauce was unattractively tangy - my sauce on the fly is much better.
EVENING SNACK: 10:15pm, 1 saltless whole wheat pretzel with good peanut butter, hunger 3/5
Felt restless after the day's events.
Funny how less than a week ago I was pretty content in how my professional life was going, and now I'm weighing the advantages of leaving before I find another job, once the corporate bureaucracy allows me to negotiate for myself. It's really starting to effect my appetite, I just hope I don't get discouraged then binge when the hunger jumps up and bites me on the ass.
I am thankful that the depression I'm experiencing has a very definable outside stimulus and is not some free floating angst that makes me want to write bad poetry, like...
Oh, such a dark and evil day,BREAKFAST: 8:30am, good yogurt with honey, vanilla and raw nuts, hunger 2/5
What do I have to do to say,
The corporate headmasters are evil,
I liken them to bolweevils,
Of the soul.
AM WATERING: 9:30am, 24 oz still
BP: 9:45am, 126/88
PM SNACK: 1:45pm, a few bites of curry tofu & rice, hunger 4 to 2/5
Has not aged well in the fridge, too spicy, almost bitter. Appetite was there, but then left me. Have an interesting meeting in a few minutes.
PM SNACK: 4:15pm, the insides of a falafel sandwich, hunger 4/5
Hungry, but not hungry. Didn't find the wholewheat pita appetizing, though there was nothing wrong with .
Meeting went well. Negotiated enough to stay here through January and not feel stupid, though we'll see how it goes in January.
DINNER: 7pm, a little more than half of a Margherita DOC for Isabella's Oven, baby carrots and homemade hummus, hunger 4/5
Paid extra attention to this pizza, as haven't had a fancy restaurant pie in a wild. The the crust was better than the stuff I get at wholefoods, nicely textured and chewy, a little limp but that's probably from steaming in a cardboard box for 10 minutes. The little pools of bufala moz was great, just the right minimal amount but the sauce was unattractively tangy - my sauce on the fly is much better.
EVENING SNACK: 10:15pm, 1 saltless whole wheat pretzel with good peanut butter, hunger 3/5
Felt restless after the day's events.
Tuesday, December 4
Imagine all the time I'll have to blog...
ADDENDA:
It seems that corporate decisions have made my current employment situation a bit demoralizing. I could be in the market for a new job as soon as January 1st. My biggest concern right now is how this is going to impact B, she has a lot on her plate right now with her Dad n' stuff, all she needs is an unemployed husband!!
BREAKFAST: 8am, toasted onion bagel with good butter, hunger 3/5
Haven't had a bagel for breakfast in a long time. Gotta start mixing it up more, maybe oatmeal soon, too.
AM WATERING: 9:15am, 24 oz still
BP: 9:20am, 131/89
LUNCH: 1pm, pork chop over fried rice, shrimp summer roll, hunger 4/5
I brought left over tofu n' rice, but got invited out to lunch by an old work associate who has a good sense of what's going on.
DINNER: 9pm, bowl of baby carrots and homemade hummus, bowl of wholewheat pasta with homemade sauce and Parmesan, large square of homemade apple crumble, hunger 3/5
I was sorely tempted to go to Katz's on the way home and pound down a huge pastrami sandwich, a plate of beef-steak fries and a plate of pickles, out of anger, but then I thought about a) how it would make me feel later and b) I wasn't hungry anyway, so I went home. Had a hard time deciding what to eat, till Betsy said, "Why don't you just have some pasta?" Making dry pasta doesn't seem like real cooking, it's more like preparing, and I really didn't feel like cooking, but I didn't feel like an unhealthy restaurant meal like I had this afternoon.
It seems that corporate decisions have made my current employment situation a bit demoralizing. I could be in the market for a new job as soon as January 1st. My biggest concern right now is how this is going to impact B, she has a lot on her plate right now with her Dad n' stuff, all she needs is an unemployed husband!!
BREAKFAST: 8am, toasted onion bagel with good butter, hunger 3/5
Haven't had a bagel for breakfast in a long time. Gotta start mixing it up more, maybe oatmeal soon, too.
AM WATERING: 9:15am, 24 oz still
BP: 9:20am, 131/89
LUNCH: 1pm, pork chop over fried rice, shrimp summer roll, hunger 4/5
I brought left over tofu n' rice, but got invited out to lunch by an old work associate who has a good sense of what's going on.
DINNER: 9pm, bowl of baby carrots and homemade hummus, bowl of wholewheat pasta with homemade sauce and Parmesan, large square of homemade apple crumble, hunger 3/5
I was sorely tempted to go to Katz's on the way home and pound down a huge pastrami sandwich, a plate of beef-steak fries and a plate of pickles, out of anger, but then I thought about a) how it would make me feel later and b) I wasn't hungry anyway, so I went home. Had a hard time deciding what to eat, till Betsy said, "Why don't you just have some pasta?" Making dry pasta doesn't seem like real cooking, it's more like preparing, and I really didn't feel like cooking, but I didn't feel like an unhealthy restaurant meal like I had this afternoon.
Monday, December 3
Putting My House in Order
ADDENDA:
Woke up this morning at 7 after a restless night, grabbed the laptop on the floor and emailed work, saying I wouldn't be in today. Rather than feel crappy about work all day, I've decided to start putting my house in order now instead of 'later'. So far I've done some crucial fixes to my commuter bike, vacuumed and done the dishes, drano'd the sink and will soon set the over to auto-clean. I'm gonna shower, then update my resume and send it off to a headhunter who I've kept contact with over the past year. Will take 5 minutes to look at some job listings on line, then go see an afternoon movie with the retirees/trustfund babies/unemployed shmoes!
And tonight, I shall cook like I never cooked before. Went book shopping yesterday, and got an interesting cook book, which after picking it up realized I was in the same social circle with the authors years ago, back when I was young n' hip. Not sure what I'll make, but it's gotta be vegan and wheat/potato-free, in advance of the eventual HVS Chapter meeting in January...
BREAKFAST: 7:30am, good yogurt with honey, vanilla and raw nuts, hunger 3/5
AM SNACK: 11:45am, 1 slice superhippy bread with good homemade hummus, 33 oz bottle of seltzer, hunger 4/5
Seems aging a few days in the fridge takes the bite off the raw garlic, nice. Gotta hydrate or I'll feel weird or falsely hungry, gonna treat myself to some bubbly.
LUNCH: 1:45pm, 12 seared mixed dumplings, hunger 4/5
Ate them in the movies, very relaxing.
DINNER: 6:30pm, green salad, grilled curried tofu over brown basmanti with sauted broc, cipolinis and criminis, apple crumble & choc. gelato.
My first effort out of the veganomicon, not very good. The curry marinade tasted bitter, the tofu stuck to the grill. But the sauteed veg was delicious. This will not be the HVS Chapter meeting meal, but I do want to experiment more with pressing, grilling, baking and marinading tofu....
Woke up this morning at 7 after a restless night, grabbed the laptop on the floor and emailed work, saying I wouldn't be in today. Rather than feel crappy about work all day, I've decided to start putting my house in order now instead of 'later'. So far I've done some crucial fixes to my commuter bike, vacuumed and done the dishes, drano'd the sink and will soon set the over to auto-clean. I'm gonna shower, then update my resume and send it off to a headhunter who I've kept contact with over the past year. Will take 5 minutes to look at some job listings on line, then go see an afternoon movie with the retirees/trustfund babies/unemployed shmoes!
And tonight, I shall cook like I never cooked before. Went book shopping yesterday, and got an interesting cook book, which after picking it up realized I was in the same social circle with the authors years ago, back when I was young n' hip. Not sure what I'll make, but it's gotta be vegan and wheat/potato-free, in advance of the eventual HVS Chapter meeting in January...
BREAKFAST: 7:30am, good yogurt with honey, vanilla and raw nuts, hunger 3/5
AM SNACK: 11:45am, 1 slice superhippy bread with good homemade hummus, 33 oz bottle of seltzer, hunger 4/5
Seems aging a few days in the fridge takes the bite off the raw garlic, nice. Gotta hydrate or I'll feel weird or falsely hungry, gonna treat myself to some bubbly.
LUNCH: 1:45pm, 12 seared mixed dumplings, hunger 4/5
Ate them in the movies, very relaxing.
DINNER: 6:30pm, green salad, grilled curried tofu over brown basmanti with sauted broc, cipolinis and criminis, apple crumble & choc. gelato.
My first effort out of the veganomicon, not very good. The curry marinade tasted bitter, the tofu stuck to the grill. But the sauteed veg was delicious. This will not be the HVS Chapter meeting meal, but I do want to experiment more with pressing, grilling, baking and marinading tofu....
Sunday, December 2
Fun in Tme of Depression
ADDENDA:
Felt depressed today. Starting to assemble a game plan for the future, unspoken but in my mind. Felt a little crappy from eating crap yesterday, didn't make the same mistake today.
BREAKFAST: 7am, good yogurt with raw cashews, hunger 4/5
AM SNACK: 8:30am, about 1 ounce of good chocolate, some gelato custard, hunger 4/5
Cooking chocolate gelato custard, some jumped up and pounced on me, forcing itself down my throat.
BREAKFAST 2: 10:30am, veggie burger with home fries, hunger 4/5
At Kate's Joint with the HVS. It was nice spending a nice quiet morning with someone to commiserate about whats happened at work and feel good about life in general at the same time, appreciate the friends you got despite the bad stuff. We went for a beginner's vinyassa class together after, was actually surprisingly rewarding - not too easy and not too hard. Gotta travel next weekend, but this is something I could do again.
LUNCH: 2:45pm, falafel and eggplant on whole wheat pita, hunger 4/5
PM SNACK: 4:30, some gelato custard, frozen and stuck to the sides of the machine, hunger 3/5
PM SNACK: 7pm, small piece of medium alpine raw milk cheese, hunger 4/5
Got this at the farmer's market the day before, already Betsy has torn through most of it.
DINNER: 8:15pm, homemade pizza with roasted garlic, mushrooms, cipollini onions, buff moz and parm, 1/3 of a homemade calzone, homemade apple crumble and homemade chocolate gelato, hunger 4/5
Pizzas came out best yet, would of been very pleased if they were served to me in a restaurant. Used left over dough and ingredients and experimented with a calzone, also pretty good. Dessert, not so great, but the gelato was still a little better than the last time.
Felt depressed today. Starting to assemble a game plan for the future, unspoken but in my mind. Felt a little crappy from eating crap yesterday, didn't make the same mistake today.
BREAKFAST: 7am, good yogurt with raw cashews, hunger 4/5
AM SNACK: 8:30am, about 1 ounce of good chocolate, some gelato custard, hunger 4/5
Cooking chocolate gelato custard, some jumped up and pounced on me, forcing itself down my throat.
BREAKFAST 2: 10:30am, veggie burger with home fries, hunger 4/5
At Kate's Joint with the HVS. It was nice spending a nice quiet morning with someone to commiserate about whats happened at work and feel good about life in general at the same time, appreciate the friends you got despite the bad stuff. We went for a beginner's vinyassa class together after, was actually surprisingly rewarding - not too easy and not too hard. Gotta travel next weekend, but this is something I could do again.
LUNCH: 2:45pm, falafel and eggplant on whole wheat pita, hunger 4/5
PM SNACK: 4:30, some gelato custard, frozen and stuck to the sides of the machine, hunger 3/5
PM SNACK: 7pm, small piece of medium alpine raw milk cheese, hunger 4/5
Got this at the farmer's market the day before, already Betsy has torn through most of it.
DINNER: 8:15pm, homemade pizza with roasted garlic, mushrooms, cipollini onions, buff moz and parm, 1/3 of a homemade calzone, homemade apple crumble and homemade chocolate gelato, hunger 4/5
Pizzas came out best yet, would of been very pleased if they were served to me in a restaurant. Used left over dough and ingredients and experimented with a calzone, also pretty good. Dessert, not so great, but the gelato was still a little better than the last time.
Saturday, December 1
Unhealthy Day
ADDENDA:
Forgot to eat anything sweet! But I ate crappily, so that makes up for it...
BREAKFAST: 7am, organic cornflakes with good milk, hunger 4/5
PM SNACK: 1:30pm, popcorn, hunger 4/5
PM SNACK: 4:00pm, 1 crappy slice of pizza, hunger 4/5
Got two slices at Sullivan & Spring, but could only finish one. The cheese was an oily mess, the sauce was bland, and the crust was both limp and crumbly. Betsy thought it was fine, but I thought if I'm going to eat unhealthy junk, I should at least enjoy it.
PM SNACK: 6:30pm, large amount of baby carrots with freshly made hummus, hunger 4/5
DINNER: 7:30pm, brick o' Chinese food, hunger 4/5
Now this is the unhealthy comfort food that pleases....
Forgot to eat anything sweet! But I ate crappily, so that makes up for it...
BREAKFAST: 7am, organic cornflakes with good milk, hunger 4/5
PM SNACK: 1:30pm, popcorn, hunger 4/5
PM SNACK: 4:00pm, 1 crappy slice of pizza, hunger 4/5
Got two slices at Sullivan & Spring, but could only finish one. The cheese was an oily mess, the sauce was bland, and the crust was both limp and crumbly. Betsy thought it was fine, but I thought if I'm going to eat unhealthy junk, I should at least enjoy it.
PM SNACK: 6:30pm, large amount of baby carrots with freshly made hummus, hunger 4/5
DINNER: 7:30pm, brick o' Chinese food, hunger 4/5
Now this is the unhealthy comfort food that pleases....
Friday, November 30
One Small Step for a Pancake, One Giant Leap for Pancakekind
ADDENDA:
Looking forward to eating today. Brought in the raviolis in, tonight I'm on my own (doin' laundry, hrumph!) and gonna play with some pork medallions n' rice.
Before dinner, Betsy & I had a surprise drink with Ilsa, who works in the same building as B. Seems the new Ironchef challenge is to make dinner for 4 that has a) no animal product, b) no wheat or potatoes and c) still rocks the house. Hmmmm.
BREAKFAST: 7am, stack of good experimental pancakes, hunger 4/5
Got to bed before 11, woke up naturally around 6:30, took a shower and realized....hmmm, I feel hungry. Last night's dinner was great, but not the biggest portions. I already made myself pancakes this week, so to up the ante, I threw in a couple of teaspoons of cinnamon and a small splash of vanilla....whoa. I think I just made a small step for a pancake, one giant leap for pancakekind. Now if only I could add CHOCOLATEto it....and wrap it around a sausage....and put it on a stick....wait, I think that's been done...
AM WATERING: 9:45am, 24 oz still
BP 9:45am: 127/95
AM SNACK: 11:45am, superGerman bread with peanutbutter, hunger 4/5
LUNCH: 2:45pm, homemade ravioli with homemade sauce, hunger 2/5
Just had a staff meeting about future benefits, made me nauseous. Corporations are evil.
DINNER: 7pm, 2 pork medallions with brown jasmine rice with an experimental scallion/wine sauce, hunger 4/5
Feel crappy and a bit depressed. Cooking this actually made me feel a little better and in control. After lightly sauteing the pork, added wine & Worcestershire to the garlic, scallion and olive oil already in there. Came out nicely.
EVENING SNACK: 9pm, 3 fresh hot chocolate chip cookies, hunger 4/5
Needed 'em after this rough day. Celebrates the beginning of the weekend with my honey.
Looking forward to eating today. Brought in the raviolis in, tonight I'm on my own (doin' laundry, hrumph!) and gonna play with some pork medallions n' rice.
Before dinner, Betsy & I had a surprise drink with Ilsa, who works in the same building as B. Seems the new Ironchef challenge is to make dinner for 4 that has a) no animal product, b) no wheat or potatoes and c) still rocks the house. Hmmmm.
BREAKFAST: 7am, stack of good experimental pancakes, hunger 4/5
Got to bed before 11, woke up naturally around 6:30, took a shower and realized....hmmm, I feel hungry. Last night's dinner was great, but not the biggest portions. I already made myself pancakes this week, so to up the ante, I threw in a couple of teaspoons of cinnamon and a small splash of vanilla....whoa. I think I just made a small step for a pancake, one giant leap for pancakekind. Now if only I could add CHOCOLATEto it....and wrap it around a sausage....and put it on a stick....wait, I think that's been done...
AM WATERING: 9:45am, 24 oz still
BP 9:45am: 127/95
AM SNACK: 11:45am, superGerman bread with peanutbutter, hunger 4/5
LUNCH: 2:45pm, homemade ravioli with homemade sauce, hunger 2/5
Just had a staff meeting about future benefits, made me nauseous. Corporations are evil.
DINNER: 7pm, 2 pork medallions with brown jasmine rice with an experimental scallion/wine sauce, hunger 4/5
Feel crappy and a bit depressed. Cooking this actually made me feel a little better and in control. After lightly sauteing the pork, added wine & Worcestershire to the garlic, scallion and olive oil already in there. Came out nicely.
EVENING SNACK: 9pm, 3 fresh hot chocolate chip cookies, hunger 4/5
Needed 'em after this rough day. Celebrates the beginning of the weekend with my honey.
Thursday, November 29
Raviolios
ADDENDA:Making ravioli last night was a lot of fun. It's the same tedium of making pasta, but with an extra layer of tedium at the end! Ha, no, the stand-mixer attachment kind of cuts 45 minutes of arm-breaking tedium from the process, and shaping and hand-filling the dumplings in a form was actually quite satisfying. Like sausage, the contents of a ravioli has always had an air of mystery, and to have made it from scratch was a little bit of a revelation. To start with whole wheat flour, a stack of eggs, a pint of ricotta, a few stems of parsley and a block of parm and turn it into rather sexy little pillows of flavor. Look at Betsy's face, you KNOW that ravioli is sexy!
My mom would call them 'raviolios'. I imagine she would have an even grander name for these, perhaps 'ravioliolios'....
Looking forward to hitting the farmer's market hard this Saturday, it's been a while since I made a proper salad, and now I have this new set of skills I want to play with. And perhaps a zucchini may be in my future next week...
BREAKFAST: 7:30am, organic cherios with good milk, banana, hunger 3/5
AM WATERING: 9:30am, 24 oz still
BP: 9:45am, 129/91
LUNCH: 12:30, big plate of shrimp/veg/fish tempura, bowl of white rice, miso soup, hunger 4/5
Needed a break from the curry pork. Something tells me the salt level in this meal was high. Didn't taste salty, but heard a report on NPR this morning about some new survey of American sodium intake, how it's out of control, and how you can't actually taste the salt because of processing. Salty potato chips are comparatively low-salt compared something like a frozen TV dinner, due to this factor. More fuel to cook from home.
After lunch Erikka and I took a walk to the new M&M store off Times Square. Three floors of prime real estate dedicated to the consumption and celebration of shitty-ass chocolate by kids and their irresponsible guardians. Right outside the window is a huge billboard fill of almost-naked ladies advertising the 'Vivid' brand of hardcore pornography. God bless America!!DINNER: 6:45pm, 1 small buttery nan bread, wonderful grilled/cured venison appetizer with a small unsweetened baked apple, small shot of pumpkin soup, nicely spiced curry shrimp over a bed of brown rice pilaf with odd/tasty threads of vegetable matter in it, peanutbutter custard with concord grape granita over a thin chocolate wafer in a small pool of fresh grape jelly, 2 small filled-chocolates, 1/4 glass of presecco, hunger 4/5
Took the wifey to nice dinner at Tabla. She had cheese for dessert, I was more interested in indulging in something sweet, as this was the time to get something above and beyond. However, I couldn't help wondering hmmmm....maybe a cheese course could be more satisfying than a childish sweet? (The name of my dessert was "Peanut Butter & Jelly".) It came served with small handful of yellow raisins and some nicely shaped toasty breads. Made me regret forgetting to eat the apple and cheese I brought to work.
Wednesday, November 28
Dr. Wildman, and his son, Chef Wildman
ADDENDA:
Last night's knife-skills class was a revelation. All very hands on, a good instructor. We cut vegetables of all stripe, and with some simple instruction found the whole thing to be wonderfully easy. First thing: get a sharpening device for my set of global knives. Second thing: totally rethink my salad this weekend, and consider squash & zuccinni in my stirfry & soup life. Third thing: peeling tomatoes is so easy!! Next spagetti sauce from scratch will be with farmer's market tomatoes when they are back in season.
Fourthly: I think I may want to go to chef's school. Of the 15-odd students in the class (again, me the only dude), he made several comments to me, the first was, "Have you done this before?" and said I was a natural and made it look easy (uhhh, it was easy.) Makes me want a bigger challenge. The Natural Gourmet Institute does have a program, but I don't know if I want to specialize in vegetarian/vegan cooking. I think I'll take one more hands-on class here then try one or two other schools in the New Year, to see if I really want to invest all that time and money in a degree I'll probably never earn back in a professional setting.
Forgot to pack any snacks today unfortunately, and realized because I have a social lunch tomorrow, Friday will be my only other lunch-from-home day this week. Three days a week to start next week, then.
Didn't have any sweets yesterday other than the banana and the apple, which I guess a month ago would of been a huge deal, now it feels....like I should eat like that more often. Was wound up from the class, slept well but only 6 hours and woke up hungry.
BREAKFAST: 7:30am, good pancakes from scratch, a jigger of seltzer, hunger 4/5
x
AM WATERING: 9:30am, 24 oz still
BP 9:30am: 129/89
LUNCH: 12:30pm, shrimp w/basil sauce and white rice, small salad slathered in peanut sauce, 2 tiny fried spring rolls, hunger 4/5
OK Thai food, would be interested to learn how to prepare something similar...
PM SNACK: 4pm, 3 potato samosa from Green Symphony, hunger 4/5
Slightly headachey, kinda jonesing for refined sugar. If I had an apple, it would knock that pang out. Feel in control, though. Looking forward to making ravioli from scratch for the first time tonight.
PM SNACK: 6:30pm, 3 pieces sesame tofu, hunger 4/5
Feeling peckish, dinner still needs to be made.
DINNER: 8:30pm, homemade cheese ravioli with homemade tomato sauce, hunger 4/5
Really good. Used the simplest recipe possible (ricotta, parm, egg, nutmeg, parsley, salt & pep) and it came through elegantly. Soft pillowy dumplings with just the right amount of chew. If I hadn't already made the sauce, I probably would of just used butter n' sage...
EVENING SNACK: 10pm, 1/2 serving of good yogurt with honey, vanilla, raw cashews, hunger 3/5
Really craving sugar, only desert I had in the house was frozen cookie dough. So I had this yogurt with an extra squirt of honey. Kind of a dessert, but less intense than a full on freak-out.
Last night's knife-skills class was a revelation. All very hands on, a good instructor. We cut vegetables of all stripe, and with some simple instruction found the whole thing to be wonderfully easy. First thing: get a sharpening device for my set of global knives. Second thing: totally rethink my salad this weekend, and consider squash & zuccinni in my stirfry & soup life. Third thing: peeling tomatoes is so easy!! Next spagetti sauce from scratch will be with farmer's market tomatoes when they are back in season.
Fourthly: I think I may want to go to chef's school. Of the 15-odd students in the class (again, me the only dude), he made several comments to me, the first was, "Have you done this before?" and said I was a natural and made it look easy (uhhh, it was easy.) Makes me want a bigger challenge. The Natural Gourmet Institute does have a program, but I don't know if I want to specialize in vegetarian/vegan cooking. I think I'll take one more hands-on class here then try one or two other schools in the New Year, to see if I really want to invest all that time and money in a degree I'll probably never earn back in a professional setting.
Forgot to pack any snacks today unfortunately, and realized because I have a social lunch tomorrow, Friday will be my only other lunch-from-home day this week. Three days a week to start next week, then.
Didn't have any sweets yesterday other than the banana and the apple, which I guess a month ago would of been a huge deal, now it feels....like I should eat like that more often. Was wound up from the class, slept well but only 6 hours and woke up hungry.
BREAKFAST: 7:30am, good pancakes from scratch, a jigger of seltzer, hunger 4/5
x
AM WATERING: 9:30am, 24 oz still
BP 9:30am: 129/89
LUNCH: 12:30pm, shrimp w/basil sauce and white rice, small salad slathered in peanut sauce, 2 tiny fried spring rolls, hunger 4/5
OK Thai food, would be interested to learn how to prepare something similar...
PM SNACK: 4pm, 3 potato samosa from Green Symphony, hunger 4/5
Slightly headachey, kinda jonesing for refined sugar. If I had an apple, it would knock that pang out. Feel in control, though. Looking forward to making ravioli from scratch for the first time tonight.
PM SNACK: 6:30pm, 3 pieces sesame tofu, hunger 4/5
Feeling peckish, dinner still needs to be made.
DINNER: 8:30pm, homemade cheese ravioli with homemade tomato sauce, hunger 4/5
Really good. Used the simplest recipe possible (ricotta, parm, egg, nutmeg, parsley, salt & pep) and it came through elegantly. Soft pillowy dumplings with just the right amount of chew. If I hadn't already made the sauce, I probably would of just used butter n' sage...
EVENING SNACK: 10pm, 1/2 serving of good yogurt with honey, vanilla, raw cashews, hunger 3/5
Really craving sugar, only desert I had in the house was frozen cookie dough. So I had this yogurt with an extra squirt of honey. Kind of a dessert, but less intense than a full on freak-out.
Tuesday, November 27
234 Pounds o' Fury!!
ADDENDA:
What hath thow raught? Ilsa has a blog!! Here!
Weighed myself this morning, almost forgot, but the scale was in the way (the weigh?) of me retrieving my cell phone. 234. Was wearing pants, and just ate breakfast, so it's probably closer to my standard 230. Not feeling very furious, but anything that is tagged with "o' Fury!!" sounds less blubbery.
Feel weird about the pint of soy icecream I snarfed last night. On one hand, I think I enjoyed and appreciated it more than I would of if it was a regular habit. On the other hand, my lust for it immediately following my substandard home meal was overpowering in a way. Ilsa's blog suggests brushing teeth to get the stomach-body-brain signals to shout "done!" to the lust impulses. May just try that.
BREAKFAST: 8am, organic chex with good milk, banana, hunger 3/5
Start the sweets off right.
AM WATERING: 9:30am, 24 oz still
BP 9:45am: 132/90
LUNCH: 12:30pm, homemade hummus, carrot sticks, cucumber slices, 2 slices normal wholewheat bread, 2 slices weird dense superGerman "bread", 3 pieces sesame tofu, hunger 4/5
Out of superhippy bread from the farmer's market, so I got this weird, dense block of bread-like material imported from Germany, full of whole grains, weirdly moist, and shelf-stable for months in the unopened wrapper.
Hummus was good, needs more cumin. Next batch is going to rock. Hard. My dad never had the secret weapon of the roasted garlic, damn I wish I could share that with him. I think he'd be impressed. After tasting it, he'd nod, and say something quietly, like, "Noah, that's pretty good. I wish I thought of that." A small grin was like a hug from him (though in later years I subjected him to more unasked-for hugs than I can count.)
PM SNACK: 4:15pm, apple & raw funki havarti, hunger 3/5
Apple was mushy, May have to run out and grab another snack, as I have a knife skills class 6:30-10 tonight.
PM SNACK: 5:15pm, lamb on pita, hunger 4/5
As I'm eating this, I'm thinking, "This is not going to help me lose weight, is it?"
PM SNACK: 7pmish, carrots sticks & inferior hummus, small handful of olives, lemony water, hunger 4/5
Snacks during class
DINNER: 9:30pm, yummy carrot soup, quinoa with orange supreme, white bean thingy, sauteed broccoli with mushrooms, roasted cubed potatoes, hunger 4/5
Dinner was made with all the veg that the students prepped in knife skills class, all vegan, the HVS would of been proud. Food was actually pretty good, but could of used some sort of protein for satiety's sake.
What hath thow raught? Ilsa has a blog!! Here!
Weighed myself this morning, almost forgot, but the scale was in the way (the weigh?) of me retrieving my cell phone. 234. Was wearing pants, and just ate breakfast, so it's probably closer to my standard 230. Not feeling very furious, but anything that is tagged with "o' Fury!!" sounds less blubbery.
Feel weird about the pint of soy icecream I snarfed last night. On one hand, I think I enjoyed and appreciated it more than I would of if it was a regular habit. On the other hand, my lust for it immediately following my substandard home meal was overpowering in a way. Ilsa's blog suggests brushing teeth to get the stomach-body-brain signals to shout "done!" to the lust impulses. May just try that.
BREAKFAST: 8am, organic chex with good milk, banana, hunger 3/5
Start the sweets off right.
AM WATERING: 9:30am, 24 oz still
BP 9:45am: 132/90
LUNCH: 12:30pm, homemade hummus, carrot sticks, cucumber slices, 2 slices normal wholewheat bread, 2 slices weird dense superGerman "bread", 3 pieces sesame tofu, hunger 4/5
Out of superhippy bread from the farmer's market, so I got this weird, dense block of bread-like material imported from Germany, full of whole grains, weirdly moist, and shelf-stable for months in the unopened wrapper.
Hummus was good, needs more cumin. Next batch is going to rock. Hard. My dad never had the secret weapon of the roasted garlic, damn I wish I could share that with him. I think he'd be impressed. After tasting it, he'd nod, and say something quietly, like, "Noah, that's pretty good. I wish I thought of that." A small grin was like a hug from him (though in later years I subjected him to more unasked-for hugs than I can count.)
PM SNACK: 4:15pm, apple & raw funki havarti, hunger 3/5
Apple was mushy, May have to run out and grab another snack, as I have a knife skills class 6:30-10 tonight.
PM SNACK: 5:15pm, lamb on pita, hunger 4/5
As I'm eating this, I'm thinking, "This is not going to help me lose weight, is it?"
PM SNACK: 7pmish, carrots sticks & inferior hummus, small handful of olives, lemony water, hunger 4/5
Snacks during class
DINNER: 9:30pm, yummy carrot soup, quinoa with orange supreme, white bean thingy, sauteed broccoli with mushrooms, roasted cubed potatoes, hunger 4/5
Dinner was made with all the veg that the students prepped in knife skills class, all vegan, the HVS would of been proud. Food was actually pretty good, but could of used some sort of protein for satiety's sake.
Monday, November 26
Back On It
ADDENDA:
Meant to weigh myself this morning but forgot. I tend to forget things I have no interest in/really don't want to do. Looking forward to getting back into healthier eating habits. Before it was new and a little struggling, now it's starting to be the new routine. Brought an apple & stinky cheese to work, not because I'm on a sugar fast, but because it's damn yummy...
BREAKFAST: 7:30am, good yogurt with honey & vanilla & raw nuts, hunger 2/5
AM WATERING: 9:15am, 24 oz still
BP: 9:30am, 130/93
LUNCH: 1pm, small pastrami sandwich with pea soup, slaw & pickles, water, hunger 4/5
Satisfying sit-down at Junior's around the corner on a rainy day. Reading the beginning chapter's of 'The Omivore's Delimma', oy, how corn is a vessel so we can all eat fossil fuel in many different foodstuffs, including the beef I just ate.
PM SNACK: 4:45, apple and funky-ass raw cheese, hunger 3/5
Funny how stinky cheese becomes yummy with a good apple.
DINNER: 7pm, shrimp in a wine sauce with mushrooms and onions, wild rice, almost a full pint of chocolate mint soy icecream, hunger 4/5
Made another pound of shrimp, threw in wine and veg and high-heat safflower oil into the wok. Definitely better than the last time, but still not....very good. I'm missing something or a step, may have to read a recipe. Cooked this weird black long-grain wild rice with low-sodium organic chicken broth, come out kinda crunchy and unappealing. So when I was finished with the meal, just felt unsatisfied, but I was glad there was no more gelato in the house....uh oh. I had soy icecream in the house, to feed the HVS at the last pizza-blowout. Well, I hadn't inhaled a pint of icecream in such a long time, so I did it. I ate it in front of the TV. The soy icecream itself wasn't so great, but the sitting, the leisurely eating of it, the wave of satisfaction, it was mmmmmm. Figured hey, I'm not a robot, this is an uncommon indulgence, and you better not make a habit of this or I'll have to dislocate my leg and kick my own ass....
Meant to weigh myself this morning but forgot. I tend to forget things I have no interest in/really don't want to do. Looking forward to getting back into healthier eating habits. Before it was new and a little struggling, now it's starting to be the new routine. Brought an apple & stinky cheese to work, not because I'm on a sugar fast, but because it's damn yummy...
BREAKFAST: 7:30am, good yogurt with honey & vanilla & raw nuts, hunger 2/5
AM WATERING: 9:15am, 24 oz still
BP: 9:30am, 130/93
LUNCH: 1pm, small pastrami sandwich with pea soup, slaw & pickles, water, hunger 4/5
Satisfying sit-down at Junior's around the corner on a rainy day. Reading the beginning chapter's of 'The Omivore's Delimma', oy, how corn is a vessel so we can all eat fossil fuel in many different foodstuffs, including the beef I just ate.
PM SNACK: 4:45, apple and funky-ass raw cheese, hunger 3/5
Funny how stinky cheese becomes yummy with a good apple.
DINNER: 7pm, shrimp in a wine sauce with mushrooms and onions, wild rice, almost a full pint of chocolate mint soy icecream, hunger 4/5
Made another pound of shrimp, threw in wine and veg and high-heat safflower oil into the wok. Definitely better than the last time, but still not....very good. I'm missing something or a step, may have to read a recipe. Cooked this weird black long-grain wild rice with low-sodium organic chicken broth, come out kinda crunchy and unappealing. So when I was finished with the meal, just felt unsatisfied, but I was glad there was no more gelato in the house....uh oh. I had soy icecream in the house, to feed the HVS at the last pizza-blowout. Well, I hadn't inhaled a pint of icecream in such a long time, so I did it. I ate it in front of the TV. The soy icecream itself wasn't so great, but the sitting, the leisurely eating of it, the wave of satisfaction, it was mmmmmm. Figured hey, I'm not a robot, this is an uncommon indulgence, and you better not make a habit of this or I'll have to dislocate my leg and kick my own ass....
Sunday, November 25
Travel Day Home
BREAKFAST: 6:30am, half a bottle of seltzer, hunger 1/5
AM SNACK: 8:15am, 36 ingredient granola bar, handful of pirate booty, hunger 4/5
On the train home.
AM SNACK: 9am, horrible veggie burger, ridiculous cinnamon bun, bottle of seltzer, hunger 4/5
Amtrack sells a remarkable 'vegan' veggie burger, which has over 70 ingredients...
PM SNACK: 2pm, small cup of gelato, hunger 4/5
Good that it's homemade - it's comforting that I know whats in it, but it's not very good. I think I know how to make it better, though, though I'm not too anxious to have another big bucket of gelato in my fridge!
LUNCH: 3pm, Korean vegetable dumplings, hunger 4/5
Medium bowl from the bowels of the freezer.
PM SNACK: 4pm, small amount of air-popped popcorn, hunger 3/5
Betsy made some popcorn to go with the a DVD we watched.
DINNER: 7:30pm, spinach ravioli in a mushroom wine sauce, small amount of gelato, hunger 4/5
Was going to order in, but since we went shopping and I was cooking other things for the week anyway, it made sense to cook something up. Bought fresh ravioli and made a nice sauce using wine we had in the fridge, mushrooms, parsley, olive oil, garlic, a little salt and a little butter. B went nuts on the gelato, so there were only a few tablespoons left to finish.
PM SNACK: 9pm, small handful of carrot sticks with fresh hummus, hunger 3/5
Blended hummus, replaced the two cloves of raw garlic the recipe called for with an entire head of roasted garlic. Came out pretty good, unfortunately I didn't make a lot. My dad would literally make a couple of gallons and keep it in the freezer over 6 months. If Betsy doesn't scam it all, will try to smuggle out samples to the HVS and Ilsa.
Also cooked a big batch of basic tomato sauce, gonna attempt to make fresh ravioli later this week...
AM SNACK: 8:15am, 36 ingredient granola bar, handful of pirate booty, hunger 4/5
On the train home.
AM SNACK: 9am, horrible veggie burger, ridiculous cinnamon bun, bottle of seltzer, hunger 4/5
Amtrack sells a remarkable 'vegan' veggie burger, which has over 70 ingredients...
PM SNACK: 2pm, small cup of gelato, hunger 4/5
Good that it's homemade - it's comforting that I know whats in it, but it's not very good. I think I know how to make it better, though, though I'm not too anxious to have another big bucket of gelato in my fridge!
LUNCH: 3pm, Korean vegetable dumplings, hunger 4/5
Medium bowl from the bowels of the freezer.
PM SNACK: 4pm, small amount of air-popped popcorn, hunger 3/5
Betsy made some popcorn to go with the a DVD we watched.
DINNER: 7:30pm, spinach ravioli in a mushroom wine sauce, small amount of gelato, hunger 4/5
Was going to order in, but since we went shopping and I was cooking other things for the week anyway, it made sense to cook something up. Bought fresh ravioli and made a nice sauce using wine we had in the fridge, mushrooms, parsley, olive oil, garlic, a little salt and a little butter. B went nuts on the gelato, so there were only a few tablespoons left to finish.
PM SNACK: 9pm, small handful of carrot sticks with fresh hummus, hunger 3/5
Blended hummus, replaced the two cloves of raw garlic the recipe called for with an entire head of roasted garlic. Came out pretty good, unfortunately I didn't make a lot. My dad would literally make a couple of gallons and keep it in the freezer over 6 months. If Betsy doesn't scam it all, will try to smuggle out samples to the HVS and Ilsa.
Also cooked a big batch of basic tomato sauce, gonna attempt to make fresh ravioli later this week...
Saturday, November 24
Floating On An Andover Saturday
BREAKFAST: 9:30am, slice of tofu pie, glass of seltzer, hunger 4/5
Hey, I'm on vacation, and if the choice is between a pie with exactly 10 organic ingredients (Crust (whole wheat flour, vegetable shortening, sea salt), chocolate (cocoa mass, sugar, lecithin), tofu, (soy beans, binder, water), cinnamon) or a granola bar with over 35, well, I can forgive myself.
AM SNACK: 11:30am, banana, hunger 4/5
PM SNACK: 12:30pm, another slice of tofu pie, hunger 4/5
LUNCH: 2:30pm, bread & butter, small green salad, stuffed baked scrod with baked potato, water, hunger 4/5
PM SNACK: 7:30pm, baked lays potato chips, 35-ingredient granola bar, hunger 4/5
DINNER: 9pm, Caesar salad, pizza with roasted garlic and mushrooms, hunger 4/5
Got pizza from a different Andover joint, not as greezy but not up to NYC snuff. Comfortable meal indoors.
Hey, I'm on vacation, and if the choice is between a pie with exactly 10 organic ingredients (Crust (whole wheat flour, vegetable shortening, sea salt), chocolate (cocoa mass, sugar, lecithin), tofu, (soy beans, binder, water), cinnamon) or a granola bar with over 35, well, I can forgive myself.
AM SNACK: 11:30am, banana, hunger 4/5
PM SNACK: 12:30pm, another slice of tofu pie, hunger 4/5
LUNCH: 2:30pm, bread & butter, small green salad, stuffed baked scrod with baked potato, water, hunger 4/5
PM SNACK: 7:30pm, baked lays potato chips, 35-ingredient granola bar, hunger 4/5
DINNER: 9pm, Caesar salad, pizza with roasted garlic and mushrooms, hunger 4/5
Got pizza from a different Andover joint, not as greezy but not up to NYC snuff. Comfortable meal indoors.
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