Baby, I like it raaaaw, etc etc

ADDENDA:
Went to the farmers market to collect a salad and miscellaneous. Got a half pound of interesting edamer raw-milk cheese, and I asked if they had any raw-milk for sale. They did not, but gave me a web-address for a distribution club. Raw milk is illegal to sell, but if you join a club where you cooperatively own a cow, you can legally drink it's raw milk. I read a lot from different sources about the history of milk, and how there's actually nothing wrong with raw milk if it's unadulterated by a lot of the industrial methods that gave it a bad name. In fact, it's a whole food that is supposedly better for you and more importantly....tastes better. I want to taste it for myself. The cheese is fantastic. I hope it's richness will help me avoid sweets next week.

BREAKFAST: 6am, good pancakes, hunger 4/5
To sleep early, woke up early. Made a new batch of mix, this time upping the whole wheat flower from 1/3 to 1/2. Can taste it more....and I like the taste of whole wheat....

AM SNACK: 11am, 3/4 of toasted bagel with hummus, hunger 4/5

LUNCH #1: Noon, slice of pizza, hunger 4/5
From local shop, focused on tasting the sauce. It's good, what is mine missing? Maybe dried red pepper?

LUNCH #2: 12:30pm, white rice, hunger 4/5
First run of the rice cooker, just ate the rice straight. Rice tastes good, but bland. Better than just in a pot. 1 serving is a half cup of dry rice, I made a full cup and it wasn't that much. Ate about 3/4 of the bowl.

PM SNACK: 1:30pm, 6 freshly baked cookies, hunger 4/5
In a grouchy mood, crappy weather. Rather than ride, sat around the TV and baked up the cookie dough, something I won't be able to do next week.

PM SNACK: 5:30pm, half a good dark chocolate bar, hunger 2/5
Amazing how easy it is to eat good chocolate, even without hunger or a craving for sugar.

DINNER: 8pm, vegetable dumplings, light crisp pancake with curry dipping sauce, fried spinach toasts, curry fried rice with odd mock-duck, 1 beer, water, hunger 3/5
Dinner with the Hungry Vegan Society at Pukk, a HVS-friendly Thai joint on 1st.

I'm Nervous

ADDENDA:
Will I make it 5 days without sugar? How much will it hurt? The Hungry Vegan Society just donated a bag of shredded dried coconut for my future fruit salads....

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, good yogurt with a little honey and vanilla, hunger 4/5

AM WATERING: 9:45am, 24 oz still

BP 9:45am: 130/91

LUNCH: 12:15pm, half a pastrami sandwich, small matzoh ball soup, pickle, vinegar slaw, hunger 4/5
Pastrami was dry, and such small portions!

PM WATERING: 2pm, 24 oz still

PM SNACK: 4:45pm, roberts smart puffs, hunger 4/5

DINNER: 6:45pm, 1 glass saki, 3 tiny fishcakes, small portion of chocolate babyback ribs, small portion of thai beef salad, 3 large tiger prawns with small amounts of pineapple fried rice and jasmine white rice, small portion of rich chocolate cake with burnt-honey icecream and fried banana spring rolls, hunger 4/5
Fancy dinner out with B at Kittichai, really good food, smallish portions. Felt full after but not stuffed. Enjoyed the dessert perhaps too much.

Portions A-poppin'

ADDENDA:
Ilsa brought up the question of portion-size - how do I feel my portions are? There have been times I've been gluttonous (Entemann's chocolate donuts with the little chocolate rat-pellets on the top, oh my....) but as an adult I think I've more-or-less toed the societal line with the correct portion....which is to say, probably too big but not considered gluttonous.

This morning I made myself whole-wheat pasta with home made sauce for lunch, and as I was pouring it into an old Chinese food quart container, Betsy asked if some of that was for her, because that was too much for me. Looking at it, looks like a good solid lunch to me that paired with a snack 2-3 hours out will hold me over till dinner. I think more thought needs to be given to the issue.

BREAKFAST: 7:30pm, whole wheat bagel with good butter, hunger 3/5

AM WATERING: 9:15am, 24 oz still

BP: 9:20am, 129/90
Closed my eyes and breathed steadily through my nose for the minute it took to take the reading. Ilsa wants me to focus on my breathing, maybe it'll help me cheat my BP down? :)

LUNCH: 12 noon, quart o' whole wheat pasta with homemade sauce, good dark chocolate, hunger 4/5
A full large chocolate bar is too much, but it was fun sharing it with the Hungry Vegan Society (because quality dark chocolate is ALWAYS vegan) and various work-pals. Felt very conscious of the portion size. Brought it in because want to spend-down all the sweets in the house. I think the only two things left is the lemon sorbet I made this past weekend and the cookie dough in the locked freezer. I think the cookie dough can remain as a 'Break this in case of fire' kind of thing....

PM WATERING: 2:45pm, 24 oz still

PM SNACK: 4pm, vegan jerky, hunger 4/5
Experimenting, maybe protein will be able to help with sugar craving? (The small portion has 500mg of salt, so I don't think this'll work.) Thinking of a Noah-compatible fruit salad....just apples, lemon juice, a little cinnamon, coconut flakes....maybe pear? Banana? Eeeeee.....

PM SNACK: 6pm, large portion of salty popcorn, hunger 4/5
Not a good day for my salt intake. Once I learned the movie would be 2.5 hours long, I had to.

DINNER: 9:30pm, spicy squid with weird noodles, tofu stew, kimchi pancake, little portions of radish kimchee, fried seaweed, weird noodles, marinated vegetables, yummy purple rice, hunger 4/5
Went to a weird soft-tofu Korean joint on 35th with Danny and Soo, and Soo (who is Korean) selected the dishes. Other than a weird fishy fish starter, all was good. Limited my squid intake because it was late and didn't want it to interfere with sleep.

Addiction (Or: My Mother, the Junky)

ADDENDA:
My mom was a nicotine addict. My brother and I would beg her to put he cigarette out when she would drive us around in the close confines of a car. She underwent surgery when I was in high school to remove some of her lung, and afterwards she hid her smoking, despite her being 110% forthright, successful and strong in all other aspects of her life. Neither my brother or I smoke or drink coffee because of the unattractive side we saw in our mom abusing these substances (hey! did you here that?! I think that was my mom rolling over in her grave for being called a substance-abuser!)

Back in my early 20s, when I discovered I was totally addicted to diet coke, I quit it cold turkey - I didn't want to be dependent on a drink like my mom. How middle-class bourgeoisie uncool was that? It was all headaches, nausea, fuzzy-headed unsleepiness for 2 days, a little better on the 3rd, by day 5 it was over.

My dad tried smoking, I guess to share something with my mom, but gave it up before my memory begins. He was never a huge coffee-drinker, either. But man, he loved his sweets. Some of his fondest memories of Vienna growing up pre-WWII were the bakeries full of Viennese delights. He'd always have a sweets drawer in his office I'd take great pleasure in raiding as a kid. Like my dad, I do love my sweets.

Well, I'm coming to the realization that refined sugar has a grasp on me - and how uncool is that? I went without sweets yesterday, it shouldn't be this hard. It shouldn't be hard at all. So per Ilsa's advice, starting Sunday dinner until Friday dinner I will not eat any desert that has refined sugar. Fruit is OK, chocolate is not. I'll be stocking up on the baby carrots next week. Anyone have a recommendation on how to help curb my cravings?

Feeling the craving right now, it's in my stomach and my arms. Brought the last of the apple crisp and a good piece of Icelandic dark chocolate for a snack today - better than the conventional crap they sell around here.

BREAKFAST: 7:30am, good yogurt with a small squirt of honey, vanilla, raw cashews, hunger 3.5/5
Woke up well and rested, slight craving for sugar revving up my appetite a little. Never thought much of it before, but honey is obviously a refined sugar, but in reality I'm only using about a tablespoon to cut the bitter edge of the yogurt, not turn it into a sweet confection like the conventional yogurts...

BP 10am: 126/90

AM WATERING: 10am, 24 oz still water.
Think I'm going to aim for 2 waterings a day. Hydration leads to slightly thinner blood, which results in lower blood pressure.

LUNCH: 12:30, shrimp tempura with white rice and a little dipping sauce, beef negamaki starter, tiny salad, hunger 4/5
Junior's was packed out, so went to the sushi place. I'm not sure if the portions were unusually small or my sugar-lust makes it seem that way. Felt full but the white rice revved up my sugar craving.

PM SNACK: 1:15pm, homemade apple crumble and good dark chocolate, hunger 2.5/5
The chocolate was in the freezer too long, was a little chalky in consistency. However, the second the first square hit my tongue, I instantly felt better - just like a junky when the needle hits the vein. Funny thing is, now that it's done, feel slightly sick to my stomach, headachey. This is not good all over.

PM WATERING: 2:30pm, 24 oz still water, 2 extra-strength tylenol
Headache worse, stomach feels like there is liquid plastic in it. Could it be shock from so much sugar after almost 36 hours of no sweets?!

DINNER: 7:30pm, long link of merguez lamb sausage, 4 pieces whole wheat bread with mustard, small portion of roast potatoes & onion, bowl of organic whole-grain crispex and good milk, hunger 4.5/5
As I was riding home, felt a little faint from hunger and thought I craved sugar - after thinking about it, I realized I was REALLY hungry, forgot to have a snack due to feeling weird. Was going to have sausage and potatoes, but there weren't many potatoes left, so I wrapped the sausage in whole-wheat toast like a hotdog. After the first two, I realized I wasn't really tasting the sausage as the mustard was overpowering. The actual sausage (from the farmers market) was delicious and delicate, not what you expect in a sausage and I think I kind of mistreated them by eating them like hotdogs - but I was so hungry! After eating the equivalent of 4 (healthy) hotdogs, still hungry. Usually, I'd snarf some sweets and that would shut me down, but I already had my sweets for the day. So I fast forwarded and had breakfast. That shut me down.

Lindsay Lohan, too

ADDENDA:
Tried to sleep till 7, woke at 6:30. But it's still 8 hours, so I guess that's OK. Feel fine. Hopefully today the end of the stressful project, it's been good for a while but it's key that it ends well.

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, whole wheat bagel with good butter, hunger 3/5

AM WATERING: 8:30am, 24 oz still water

BP 8:45am: 131/91

LUNCH: 12:15pm, superhippy sandwich, roasted potatoes with mushrooms and onions, hunger 4/5
Really enjoyed the potatoes. This time I added extra lemon juice and used rosemary as the predominant spice, and put the small white onions in whole - they baked and got soft and sweet and moist without taking in much oil, much better than when they're cut up.

I am concerned about the potatoes - even though they are tiny and are eaten whole with skins, the level of simple carbs are going to rev up my engine to want sugar. Will have a 2nd lunch later, but hopefully it'll be under control.

PM SNACK: 1:30pm, baby carrots with a little ranch dressing, hunger 3/5
Sugar craving bubbling, so I went to the Industrial Feedlot they have in our building (they call it the cafeteria) and poked around. A lot of stuff just smelled bad. The sesame pork they were dolling out, compared to the pork I prepared last night, looked ill. I gravitated toward the pizza and the pasta and the fried stuff, then thought, damn, this place is designed to make you eat badly. Easily found the cupcakes. Took a while to find the overpriced baby carrots. Tasted not fresh.

PM WATERING: 1:45pm, 24 oz still water

PM SNACK: 4pm, 2 potato samosas, hunger 3.5/5
Kinda craving sugar still, kinda hungry.....so....more potato!! I had a friend who turned into a raging alcoholic, he loved his potatoes, too. Alcoholic, sugarholic.... I suspect if I wasn't watching myself, I'd be on my 3rd sweet today by now....

DINNER: 8pm, shrimp parmigiana w/ spag and meat sauce, small green salad with creamy italian, bread, 1 beer, a little water, hunger 4/5
Five largish breaded shrimp in a HUGE pool of crappy cheese, a small serving of pasta with a HUGE slop of gamy-tasting meat sauce over it like a cow-plop. Ate enough to be satisfied, but there was enough cheese and sauce left on my plate to dress another meal.

Britney Spears

ADDENDA:
Last night's parade o' pizzas went well. I think I need to figure out how to make my own dough and peel my own tomatoes (well, the tomatoes can wait till they're back in season.) Next week I start taking intro cooking classes, I wonder what they'll be like. Probably more comfortable than yoga.

I think there is a law somewhere that every single blog on the internet must give some coverage to Britney Spears. I think I just filled my quota.

BP 7:15am 119/89

BREAKFAST: 7:45am, organic cheerios & good milk, hunger 3/5

AM WATERING: 9:15am, 24 oz still water

LUNCH: 12:45pm, vegetarian Indian combo with rice and nan, onions and yogurt sauce, hunger 4/5
Delicious chickpea curry, spinach with unsalted cheese, black lentils. The spice made me crave ice cream/sweet, but I told that immature taste in me that I should just enjoy the burn.

Think starting right now, gonna aim to have 2 days a week with no sweets. Dunno if they'll be consecutive, though....maybe today be the first of the week? If I'm going to meet with Ilsa tomorrow and be serious about setting off on a plan to lose weight, I gotta bring something to the table and not be a cranky little boy! If she provokes me, maybe I'll do my donut-dance. I hear nutritionists love that stuff!

PM SNACK: 4:15pm, salty deshelled pistachios, hunger 4/5
Long meeting with a HUGE sack of pistachios in the middle of the table. Good thing I didn't snack before the meeting. Would of preferred unsalted, but whatayagonnado.

DINNER: 8:30pm, sauted organic pork medalions, roasted fingerling mix with sweet onions and mushrooms, apple crisp, seltzer, hunger 4/5
Ate a reasonable amount, still hungry after so went for the sweet - it's homemade and I know it's quality ingredients and not overwhelmingly sweet. After finishing it, my immediate thought was to get out some chocolate - I'm still in the desert zone! But the adult side of me said hey, it's 9pm, let's see how you feel in 30 minutes and if you still want chocolate, go for it. I think by 9:30 I was either in the shower or lying in bed listening to music, chocolate the furthest thing from my mind.

The Donut Dance

ADDENDA:
Had a nice, cold 50 mile ride out to Little Neck Bay in Queens, got to follow a part of the marathon route before all the stinky runners came through. When I was leaving out, I proclaimed to Betsy that I was about to go get a donut, I even did a little donut-dance, as I enjoyed provoking her disapproval. However, once on the bike and going down Grand Street, I realized I wasn't hungry at all and skipped it. The stubborn little boy in me would of gotten that donut if she were riding with me, just to provoke her dissatisfaction. Hmmmm.

BREAKFAST: 7am, good yogurt with honey and raw nuts, hunger 3/5

AM GATORADING: 9am onwards, 24 oz gatorade

AM SNACK: 11am, bag of corn chips, hunger 4/5
In a little dinky grocery by the Little Neck railroad station, indulged in this salty unhealthy snack, thinking of the lunch I was going to get in an hour would be so healthy I could brag about it here. However....

LUNCH: noon, turkey on a roll with Swiss, lightly salted potato chips, 24 oz water
....the big Korean green grocer I've been going to in Beechhurst for years was out of business! Really no options other than Chinese food and a deli, so got a standard turkey sandwich, which I took out half he excess meat. Didn't taste overly salty, but I know it's hidden in the processed bits.

PM SNACK: 3pm, 3 whole wheat saltless pretzels, hunger 4/5

DINNER: 6pm, a whole homemade pizza give or take a slice, green salad, apple crisp with lemon sorbet, vegan donut holes, 2 glasses wine, hunger 4/5
Made dinner for Tamar and my cousin Iddo (and B, of course). A selection of different pizzas, most came out pretty good. Sauce is still missing something, but thinly slicing crimini mushrooms from the farmers market really worked well, roasted in the hot oven and kept moist by the thin layer of sauce. Got the dough thinner and the over hotter, the pizza was more cracker-like and light this time. Lemon sorbet was WAY too tart for my my taste, and the texture was a bit too icy, but it's an interesting start. Gonna try to make a simple chocolate gelato next....

Funny, pizza and ice cream was something I used to think I could eat everyday. But so much pizza and ice cream out in the world is such crap. But if I were to break them down into their ingredient components, get the best freshest healthiest organic parts, then combine them and cook them into pizza and ice cream....I guess it would still be relatively unhealthy if eaten every day, but sure reduces my taste for the crappier stuff...

Prepping for Tomorrow's 1st Annual Noah Pizza Festival

ADDENDA:
Wanted to sleep more, but after 6.5 hours, was ready to get up. Ilsa forwarded me an interesting article that underlined the relationship between (the lack of) sleep and obesity. I put myself to bed early and set my alarm to give me 8.5 hours, but I can't force myself...

Spent the morning prepping salad, processing ingredients to make lemon sorbet tomorrow (making any kind of ice cream from scratch seems require preparations 24 hours in advance.) Went to the farmers market and Wholefoods to get ingredients to serve a variety of guests (including the Hungry Vegan Society) 4 different pizzas...

BREAKFAST: 7am, organic cornflakes and good milk, hunger 3/5

BREAKFAST #2: 11am, pancakes & good no-nitrite bacon, hunger 4/5
I have a cousin from Israel staying with me, he was all about the bacon!

PM SNACK: 4pm, small bag of conventional potato chips

LINNER (DUNCH?): 5pm, pesto penne with shrimp, bread, water, hunger 4/5

EVENING SNACKS: 9pm, 2 small pieces cheese cake, 1 beer, 3 slices fancy sausage on small pieces of baguette, 2-3 olives
Birthday party in Brooklyn. I wanted to ride there, B wasn't having it.

Dairy, Dairy, Quite Contrary

ADDENDA:
Last night's meal was fantastic, as close to ideal as it comes - amazing food, wonderful company. As we were leaving, I said to Corinna how horrible it must be to be rich and powerful and eat in places like this every day - because a) it would be so easy to take it for granted and become blase about it and b) you'd be as fat as a house!

Remembered back in college, made a Boboli pizza for Corinna and I. I used this fat-free mozzarella on it. I remember eating a piece of it, marveling how it was fat free at first. After chewing it and swallowing it, I marvelled at the chutzpah it took to call this rubbery white substance cheese. For a good part of the time I was vegan, I remember thinking that while I suspected I would someday eat some meat again, I'd never ever consume dairy. I distinctly remember the discomfort in my gut and the fuzziness in my head that a lot of dairy consumption would give me. Now, dairy energizes me.

I think it's because all the dairy I eat is mostly whole and organic, and with the milk I use, unhomogenized (minimally processed) - if I had the choice, I'd use unpasteurized raw milk, but that's illegal. I imagine when you remove fat from dairy, all the other stuff in the dairy is more present, out of balance - the fats really help everything go down easy, and tastier too.

I made it without sweet for almost 2 whole days, and avoided a huge sugar craving. Today there will be desert with dinner, as I'm going out with another friend, but I feel hopeful about approaching weight loss at the right angle. Sweets reduced to once or twice a week seems like a logical way to reduce my calorie consumption....

BP 7am: 127/95

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, good yogurt with vanilla, honey, raw cashews, hunger 4/5

AM WATERING: 9:30am, 24 oz still water

LUNCH: 12:30pm, pork konkatsu with curry and rice, pork shumai, water, hunger 4/5
Japanese with Erikka. After, I went to Banana Republic to spy a pea coat I've been thinking of getting on line. The XL was too small! I see there is an XXL on line, but....really? When did I become an XXL? If I'm XXL in America, I must be a XXXXL in Europe!!

PM SNACK: 4:15pm, roberts pirate booty, hunger 4/5
Craving sugar.

DINNER: 7:15pm, mushy veggie burger on whole wheat bun, side of onion rings, half of Yana's fries, large serving of hunger 4/5
Needed a quick dinner before a movie, we went to Silver Spurs nearby. Haven't been to a Silver Spurs in many years - I think the last time I've been there was with my father AND pre-religious brother. I'm a bit suspicious of conventional chopped meat, so I went with an analog that was eh, and I ordered the onion rings instead of the fries as I've sworn off them (though who are we kidding, nutritionally they are the same.) After finishing my meal, Yana still barely made it into her fries and offered me some - I could not resist, I was still very hungry. Decided not to feel guilty, as it's Friday and if I'm ever going to have a new diet that lasts and lets me slim down, I have to bend and not break.

Went to Emac & Bolio's after, Yana is a Boston girl. I haven't had non-gelato in a while, forgot how not-spectacular normal ice cream is in comparison. Will make it easier to skip ice cream next time....

Oo, I'm such a Fatty McFatster. Oo, my hair is curly. Oo, etc etc.

ADDENDA:
Feeling a little fat lately, not riding, may not ride this weekend. No sweets yesterday, gonna try to hold out till dinner dessert - taking Corinna out for her birthday to Craft tonight, really looking forward to it, both the stubborn kid and the rational adult agree that this is a place to indulge. Last time I tried 2 days in a row I got a sad headache by after lunch.

BREAKFAST: 7:30am, toasted onion bagel with good butter, hunger 3/5

BP 8:15am: 125/85

LUNCH: 12:30pm, superhippy peanutbutter sandwich & large green salad with hippy garlic dressing, hunger 4/5
Good sandwich. Not sure about the Ann's non-vinegar garlic dressing, kinda both like and not like it. This is a very easy and convenient lunch to pack, but I need to expand my lunch palate if I hope to eat packed-lunch more than 2x a week.

PM SNACK: 2:30pm, lightly salted Kettle potato chips, hunger 4/5
I can't be super-hungry all day if I'm going to put the sweets on hold. The Roberts stuff is getting boring. These chips were good though still too salty (220mg in the bag, 10% of the dv, and just plain salt to boot), but satisfying.

DINNER: 6:30, 2 pieces white bread, 2 pieces multi-grain bread with butter, spoonful of smoked anchovies, a little hamachi sushi, a little romaine salad, bite of cod, small rack of organic hormone-free pork, roasted onions, creamy gnocchi, weirdly good Swiss chard, porchini mushrooms, a spoonful of butternut squash, small amounts of chocolate tart and ginger bread, mini choco-peanut tart, small shot of concord grape spritzer, water, 1 glass prosecco, hunger 4/5
Took Corinna to Craft for her birthday, great fun, and again the food was over-the-top good, was extra fun because Corinna always really gets into appreciating food - I think I kind of inherited that from her when I dated her starting when I was an impressionable 18 yr old.

Corinna and her husband have been practicing the Southbeach diet for 4 months now, and she looks really well and thinner. Other than he gnocchi and spritzer, most of the things we had she could eat in that diet. Because she ordered a lot of the meal, I tried some things I wouldn't otherwise - the Swiss chard was nice like spinachy but with it's own character, but the creamed butternut squash was too sweet for my tastes.

I'd Like to Give the World a Pizza

ADDENDA:
Cooking last night was really satisfying. B is a really good sounding board for trying my pizzas! May have to get a 2nd stone so I can make two pizzas at once...a proper pizza peel is in the mail to me as I type....

BREAKFAST: 7am, good pancakes and good non-nitrite bacon, hunger 4/5
Woke up at 4:30am...felt good, excited to meet the day. Things going good at work, the pressure is still on but it's manageable. Despite the chocolate last night, woke up hungry. Waited till 6:30 to start cooking. Hopefully this heavy food early on will help with hunger later. Try to make this a sweets-free day...

AM WATERING: 9:30am, 24 oz still water

LUNCH: 1:45pm, scallion pancake, curried soy protein with potatoes, carrots, funky rice, 2 spring rolls, water, hunger 4/5
Went to the midtown Zen Palate. Now that the Union Square location shut down because of the rent increases, this is a good regular lunch option. Didn't really need that pancake, though.

PM WATERING: 5pm, 24 oz still
Still feeling full, slightly craving sugar but this water is knocking it out.

DINNER: 7pm, family style chinese dinner, kale-like veg in sauce, salt & pepper fried squid, curnchy noodles in goopy sauce, odd seafood salad, a little white rice, a little water, hunger 3/5
Dinner with B, my friend Yana and her parents at Congee Village. Me and B were the only white people there. Ate a medium-sized meal, but between the large breakfast & lunch and being tired, just wasn't too hungry. I wonder if my lack of sleep lead to the heaviness of my first two meals...

A weird warm red-bean sweet soup was served after the meal. I tried half a teaspoon, but wasn't even in the mood for sweet, and this was the furthest from chocolate you could get.

Feelin' a Little Snotty

ADDENDA:
Nose a little mucousy this morning, body is starting to fight something. Feel fine, but this can be the precursor to a sickness. In the past I wold aim to eat healthier and take a vitamin C, but between my daily dirtpills and eating as well as I can already, not sure what additional preventative measure I can take other than just use common sense...

BREAKFAST: 7:15am, organic crispex and good milk, hunger 3/5

AM WATERING: 8:30am, 24 oz still water

BP: 8:45am, 130/92
New cuff is big and not as easy to use, may do this at home before bed instead of at work.

LUNCH: 12 noon, peanut butter superhippy bread sandwich, pretzels, celery, hummus, 24 oz still water, hunger 4/5
The Hungry Vegan Society got militant and commandeered 1/4 of my sandwich! And a pretzel, too!

PM SNACK: 1:30pm, brown rice tortilla chips, hunger 4/5
The HVS shared the wealth. Kinda salty, slight headache, I wonder if it's from the salt. Haven't had a food-related headache in a while.

PM SNACK: 3:15pm, 6 smallish cookies, hunger 4/5
Two packs of Linden's cookies - 3 is never enough, but 6 is a bit too much. Gonna make pizza from scratch tonight, hopefully won't need sweets after it.

Having a good work day, drinking extra water, the snottiness has resided for now.

DINNER: 8pm, small green salad, homemade pizza, large piece of dark chocolate, hunger 4/5
Fun making pizza with B. This time I got the oven hotter and the crust was crisper. Used garlic in the uncooked sauce, made it a little bitter that a dash of sugar will balance next time. Julienned some fresh basil on top and man did that hit the spot. Still not restaurant-ready, but definitely better than the local slice joints.

Even though I was full, I went for the dark chocolate. Part of me knew I shouldn't, but the bratty kid in me said "Fuck you and fuck it! I want what I WANT. NOW." Didn't feel guilty after so much as hmmmm, how should I approach getting this under control without pissing off the kid? Needs more thought...

Feh.

ADDENDA:
Got the new blood pressure cuff yesterday, will start using it soon. The stressful project at work is coming to a head today, but hopefully will be done before the week is out, if all goes well.

BREAKFAST: 6:30am, decadent oatmeal, hunger 3/5

AM WATERING: 7:45am, 24 oz still water

LUNCH #1: 11:45pm, small Green Symphony brick, hunger 4/5
Very hungry this early, they didn't have the hot bar yet so I had some pumpkin noodles, sesame tofu, tomato avocado salad, lentils, some mushrooms. Meat is just not appealing to me right now.

LUNCH #2: 2:45pm, small falafel sandwich, hunger 4/5
From the local cart, tried the 'half' instead of the 'regular', still pretty sizable

PM SNACK: 5pm, bag od Robert's Smart Puffs, hunger 4/5
Gonna cook for B, don't want to be too hungry too soon.

DINNER: 8pm, medium green salad, sea scallops baked in wine and butter with fresh wholewheat breadcrumbs, baked potato and butter, 1 glass white wine, half a tub of mint chocolate chip gelato. hunger 4/5
Made this meal to B's taste, nice evening together. We both kinda went nuts on the gelato, but as B says, "But it was SO GOOD!!"

2/3 of the American Dream

ADDENDA:
Sunday, took a road trip with friends to Philly to shoot guns at a range. Unlike NY, a drivers license will get you access from any thing from a small handgun to a full-automatic machine gun. Never having shot a gun before, by the time I worked my way up to the Smith & Wesson .44 (the Dirty Harry Gun), my wrist had all it could take.

We went into Philly for real cheese steaks after - between the guns and the red meat, it was definitely a good hunk of the American dream. The other third, I guess would be to go cow-tipping or something.

BREAKFAST: 7am, god yogurt with raw nuts, hunger 3/5

AM SNACK: 9am, a couple of good donuts, hunger 4/5

AM SNACK: 11am, bad slice of pizza, swig of diet coke, 34 oz bottle of still water, hunger 4/5
Highway services station, nothing healthy. The diet coke was gross but appealing, thought about it for a minute, then realized I was honestly very thirsty. Not in the dry-mouth kind of way, but craved liquid. Never really picked up on that before so consciously.

PM SNACK: 1pm, half a good donut, hunger 4/5

LUNCH: 3pm, Philly cheese steak with provolone, bottle of water, small chocolate ice cream cone, hunger 4/5
Surprisingly good. Expecting something greasy, but it was relatively moist but undrippy, exceptionally fresh and the meat flavor was nicely unfunky at all.

DINNER: 8pm, small green salad, 2 pretzels with peanut butter, hunger 3/5

Freedom from the Need to Be Free

ADDENDA:
Odd day spent mostly napping and chilling. Plans got cancelled, so we relaxed on this rainy Saturday.

BREAKFAST: 7:30am, excellent pancakes, a little seltzer, hunger 4/5
In the past, I would of gone downstairs to the local diner diner for pancakes and bacon, with all the ingredients gotten cheap, in bulk and very industrial. You can taste the industrial. I love my pancakes, with garnish and traditional syrup they'd definitely pass muster in a nice restaurant.

LUNCH: 1pm, 12 boiled mixed perogies, hunger 4/5
Delivered from a different local diner, tasty.

PM SNACK: 5:30pm, moderate amount of dark chocolate, hunger 3/5
Reading an interesting article in the New Yorker about one dude's search for the perfect cacao bean and the dark-chocolate industry (comparing them to vinters.)

DINNER: 7pm, vegetarian Ethiopian food, dark-chocolate crepe, hunger 4/5
Nice meal out with the B.

EVENING SNACK: 8pm, popcorn, seltzer, hunger 3/5
At the movies. Too salty.

Unsweet Day

ADDENDA:
Still processing last night's 4th and maybe final yoga class. The chanting and meditation, which I thought would be the goofiest part, was actually quite interesting. The trying to hand stand against the wall part, well, that was more like what I was expecting!

Didn't quite forget to have sweets yesterday, just kinda tried to reign in my sense of somehow being owed sweets every day. Probably from my mom withholding sweets so I wouldn't grow up to be a fat-ass. Gotta think about that more, too. When I got home last night, made 2 apple crumbles, one for B's dad and one for a party I'm going to tonight. Wasn't tempted to eat it or the funky gelatos in the freezer or even the really good dark chocolate bar I bought along with the apples (don't worry B, it's locked away!) Hmmmm.

Gonna try to avoid sweets till the party tonight, though I don't know if my body will object, we'll see...

BREAKFAST: 6:30am, onion bagel toasted with good butter, hunger 4/5
Hungrier than usual this morning. Maybe from the lack of sweets?

AM WATERING: 7:30am, 24 oz still water

LUNCH: 12:45pm, beef burrito, chips and salsa, hunger 4/5
Long morning, long but good. Hungry for something heavy, so I went to Burittoville. I recalled not liking it so much last time I was there, thinking maybe I'm hungry for a memory of what I used to like rather than what I'm going to actually get. So I ordered something completely different after ordering only the megasoy burrito all these years and....it was disgusting, the beef stringy like brisket and oddly sweet. Yik. Ate it, but picked most of the beef out. Seriously wanted ice cream after (spicy food does that to me, it seems) but wasn't a sugar craving so much as a smooth cold craving, so it was easy to resist.

I think my Burittoville habit has ended, need to find a decent Mex place near Times Square...any suggestions, oh faithful 2 readers?

PM SNACK: 3:45, 24 oz of still water then a small handful of M&Ms, hunger 3/5
Broke down and went to the vending machine which gives you a small handful of M&M's for 25 cents. I kinda feel like a hamster sucking at a metal teat for it's nutrients. Really felt the sugar cravings. Hoped water would make it go away, but no. The very first M&M on my tongue and BAM the cravings stopped, but I got very hungry, even though I know I was not. Hm.

PM SNACK: 6:30pm, bowl of organic crispex with good milk, small square of dark chocolate, hunger 4/5
To tide myself over till I go out, B was freaking out for chocolate so I busted it out of the freezer. After today's episode not too anxious to snarf chocolate.

DINNER: 9pmish, 1 slice pizza, small plate pasta salad, handful of very salty sausage-stuffed mushrooms, apple crumble, 1 beer, 1 vodka tonic, hunger 4/5
Nice friendly party with good friends and good strangers, all out from the rain. Brought the apple crumble. Over the course of the eve, just two drinks, alcohol never greatly appealed to me and as I get older, even less. I would of liked to have gotten a little drunk, but if it meant drinking more, ferget it.

New Day to Get It Right

ADDENDA:
I guess working a freelance gig while under the Superstuffed pressure cooker wasn't the best thing for my peace of mind or diet, but things are looking up. Packed a healthy lunch and gonna end the day with yoga and a healthy meal out with friends. Despite my crankiness last night, my wife still loves me for some odd reason...

BREAKFAST: 7:30am, good yogurt with honey, vanilla and raw cashews, hunger 4/5
Weirdly hungry this morning, good 9 hours sleep. Despite the crappiness of dinner, the quantity of it was below usual Chinese-brick proportions.

LUNCH: 1pm, 3/4 of a superhippy peanutbutter sandwich, large green salad with italian dressing, hunger 4/5
Kinda not satisfied, still hungry, though this meal has satisfied me before. Kinda want sugar, kinda just want...more lunch. Will see how I feel in an hour or so, maybe a snack of significant proportions is in order.

I donated the other 1/4 of the sandwich to the Hungry Vegan Society.

PM SNACK: 3:30pm, lamb on pita, hunger 4/5
Went out for air and yummy lamb. Good to go for yoga, and healthier bits after.

DINNER: 8:30pm, tofu "pad thai", marinated burdock roots, piece of good bread, sip of salty soup, tahini noodles, a couple of fried mushrooms, green salad with carrot dressing, water, hunger 4/5
After yoga, went to Souen with the Hungry Vegan Society. Food was OK, the so-called pad thai was terrible - the menu said it featured smoked tofu, but the few little bits that I found swimming in the peanut sauce were just ordinary.

The deserts there were horrendously healthy and none involved chocolate, so I skipped it....

Donut Disaster of a Different Order

BREAKFAST: 6:30am, organic brown rice crispies and good milk, hunger 3/5
I got the salted version, still not very good.

AM WATERING: 7:15am, 24 oz still water

AM SNACK: 10am, 1.5 vegan donuts, 1 small piece of baklava, hunger 4/5
Brought these in for T and coworkers, not very impressed with them (the donuts, that is) but after hauling them around the city since last night, had to try. Gosh, is that my sweet for the day?! Disaster!

LUNCH: 1pm, brick o' samosas, brown rice, pumpkin noodles and curry veg, hunger 4/5
Quick eats as I pumped out freelance work over my lunch.

PM SNACK: 4pm, conventional brownie, hunger 4/5
Falling asleep, needed sugar, felt cranky. Was a quick pickmeup and got me through till 6:30, but felt really shlocky after.

DINNER: 8:30pm, BBQ ribs and fried rice, egg roll, seltzer, cupcake, hunger 4/5
Tired, cranky, feeling bad about spoiling date night with B, needed comfort food. Wasn't planning on more sweets, but B brought them in special just for cranky little me. Thought of how much fun it was ordering Chinese food with my parents, the ceremony of walking down the street with my dad to pick it up because the tip for delivery seemed like a waste of money. I really enjoyed those little walks, then coming back and my mom set the table, like that's the equivalent of cooking!

Feel like puh-puh-puh-pizza toniiiite!

ADDENDA:
Got a full 8 hours of sleep, needed it from the echoes of Sunday's ride. Had the most bonkers dreams. I somehow got a time machine and I used it to take me and my friend Tamar back to 1970, before I was born, and we went around exploring NYC, looking at the typeface of the NY Times (in my dream it was different then, though I know it was the same), visited neighborhoods that are now hoity-toity but then slums, the undeveloped waterfronts, everything. I kinda wanted to pop in on my parents and see how they were doing, but Tamar and I both decided that would be too creepy. Like travelling through time is not creepy enough...

Last night before bed, I did something very unusual. I keep an off-line bike diary, where I record the experiences of ever long bikeride I take in a database. I've keep this log since my first real bikeride (to Coney Island, 35 miles) in 1999. Well, I've never really gone back and read entries. I pulled up all the entries for the Tour De Bronx, a ride I've done every year except '05, when my mom was sick and I was living with her (I was surprised to find that a solid 10 entries around that time were recorded, but I didn't write any thoughts - I was too depressed.) I write about the rides, but also about what I was feeling, what was going through my head during the ride, what I did the day before that maybe set up the physical state for the ride. It was, well, like travelling in a time machine. And, dare I say it, if I edited it and strung in some connective tissue, a lot more interesting than a silly food blog! Speaking of food...

Got whole-wheat dough in the freezer, picked up another ball of buffala mozz. Gonna experiment with uncooked pizza sauce tonight, blend the san marzanos, garlic, sea salt, olive oil, maybe an herb here or there. Ooo, I can see the healthy bright red color with little specs of herb in it now...

BREAKFAST: 7:30am, toasted garlic bagel with hummus and smoked cod, hunger 3.5/5
Bought the fish on a whim last night to change up breakfast a little, but it wasn't very good, especially compared to Russ & Daughters, I really shouldn't buy smoked fish anywhere except there. And though I'll spare you the TMI, upon getting to work I decided I need to throw out the remaining portion.

AM WATERING: 9am, 24 oz still water

LUNCH: 1pm, peanut butter on superhippy bread, last night's potatoes, 24 oz still water, hunger 4/5
The potatoes were too greasy but there is a certain potatoey flavor that the subtle lemon and herbs brought out that was really nice. Definitely a recipe I want to continue to refine. Huh, ate vegan by happenstance.

PM SNACK: 5:30pm, bag of Robert's Smart Puffs, hunger 4/5
Don't want to bing and rush to pizza tonight.

DINNER: 8pm, large green salad, one homemade pizza with wholewheat crust, small dish of black sesame gelato, seltzer, hunger 4/5
The first attempt at pizza was a tadpole emerging from the ocean for the first time. This pizza was the discovery of fire. Wow. I would not be embarrassed to serve that to friends. The whole wheat dough gave a pleasant nutty flavor, I blended the whole san marzanos with good olive oil, dried basil and a little sea salt, no cooking required. Light on the buffala moz, with a sprinkling of funky sheep pecorinno. Baked at 550+ on a stone, splashed it with olive oil when it came out. Crust was solidly crisp on the bottom, small pillowy layer on top locking into the sauce and well-baked cheese. All the ingredients came together to form a.....pizza! Not just bread, sauce and cheese, but pizza!

Funny, I met with Ilsa this evening but didn't feel the urge to run out and eat something unhealthy. Guess I'm slowly starting to get a grip on that nasty little boy.

What disasters will today hold?

BREAKFAST: 7:30am, 2 pieces wholewheat toast with good butter, dirtpill, hunger 1/5
Only got 7 hours sleep, which is usually enough, but needed more to recover from yesterday's ride. Stomach tight. Felt good, ready to attack work. Had a great time yesterday, between the ride and seeing friends, I'm really glad I didn't cave in to my baser instinct to stay at home and eat apple crumble all day.

AM WATERING: 8:30am, 24 oz still water
Gotta get a new blood pressure cuff. If it's high, it'll motivate me to think more about weight loss. Just too under the gun the past couple of weeks to really focus. (10 minutes later: just ordered a new cuff)

AM SNACK: 10am, handful of yummy tortilla-styled rice chips, hunger 3/5
Tamar brought em in, tried to force more on me but I was like, no, I'm too sweet and innocent to eat such things this early!

LUNCH: 1:30pm, 8 pieces of sushi & tuna roll, small salad and miso soup, shrimp shumai, water
Tried a different sushi place near the office, surprised how not bad it was.

DINNER: 7pm, big salad with garlic dressing, 2 pretzels with peanut butter, a small piece of apple crumble, roasted red potatoes with tofu and shallots, desert plate featuring chocolate cake, dark chocolate, small scoop of basil gelato and black sesame gelato, hunger 4/5
Prepared the farmers market potatoes with olive oil, fresh garlic, random dried herbs, lemon juice, took 45 minutes to cook. Ate a big salad with a new organic salad dressing, but still very hungry and couldn't wait. As I was working my way through the pretzels and crumble, B mentioned, "You're binging!". She was right, I should of had a snack this afternoon. Still, had a moderate amount of taters and the desert, for all it's variety, was moderate in quantity.